Update of My Life Now: Freelancer

Dear Zach,

Entering 6 months of working as freelancer, I've never been more freer than I was previously with a full time job working over 10 hours to hit end-meet. I was struggling in the beginning. My income was 50% less than what I earned in my previous job, but I believe it was a stepping stone and each stone is hard to be stepped on. I tried not to be pessimist about the basic income I earned throughout the first 3 months.

I earned a license to teach group exercise class, since then things got better, with the extra income from providing massage service, I was able to cope with the expenses monthly. I would have to say I really do enjoy giving massage for men. And the income is lucrative and easy money. When I put down my shame, money starts coming in.

Now, my income is basically up on par to my previous job, except that I am on my own terms and flexible with my time, I got to spend some time in my hobby and interest which I try to make it as a business.

I have committed myself a 3 years bank loan to purchase a new car. And that is a whole new level of burden I am starting to experience. I roughly have to pay RM600 a month of 3 years of RM20K loan. This is life.

My sex life is still ongoing great, just so you know.

The American Dick

Dear Zach,

The massage business was going relatively well this month. I was earning more than enough to cover up my expenses with some part time jobs besides massage service I was doing.

There was one American guy messaged me through gay forum for massage service. He happens to be staying in a distance of 20 minutes away. He did not provide a picture of him nor I ever ask for it.

I met him at his place. He looks good at his age of 40s. Though, lack of exercise and poor diet had him having some belly fat hugging around his waist. Overall, he is relatively handsome.

We stripped off naked. His 8 inches dick was rock hard before I even massaged him. We clicked off as we conversed during the massage session. His dick was throbbing under my oily palms as I massaged his dick. Before we knew it, I sucked his dick and he even asked if he could fuck me. I sat on his 8 inches dick and he was pretty impressed my bottoming skill. This was the first American dick I have ever rode in years.

Jealousy

Dear Zach,

I shouldn't have taken my tops for granted; Thinking all the while they would just have flings and won't get attached to someone; Knowing the fact that they would come to me whenever we both find ourselves horny.

For the past few months, my list of tops have been replacing with new guys. Though I still keep in touch with a few who fucked me well. Those regular tops I used to met frequently back in last year were totally cut off and I couldn't bother to contact them anymore. I found out that one of them were taken. That got me immensely jealous I blocked him on any means of social media and contact.

Few days back, I got to know, over Instagram stories, that one of my favorite malay tops is getting engaged. I replied to his story whether it is true. He confirmed my nightmare. My reply to him was rather blunt and short. Yesterday, another malay top I always fucked with, told me he has a boyfriend and his boyfriend told him to remove any fuck buddy he has ever encountered with. He apologized profusely over facebook, but I blocked and removed him without saying anything to him.

I'm so upset. I don't know why. I am not happy for them.

Lost Track

Dear Zach,

I've lost track of my sex record.

According to my record, I had more sex enough than I could remember.

My last sex was 2 days ago in an academy faculty toilet with a 20 year-old kid.

Ever since I work as a freelancer, my timing is greatly flexible and I am much more happier than ever. Financial wise is still a bit tight though still manageable. I don't have to tie down with a workplace for 8 hours working shift and that's the biggest relief of mine.

I had more sex than ever. If I ever live alone, I guess I would have organized an orgy everyday.

I won't update my sex record anymore. Just so you know, I am still having sex. I am still holding on to my life pretty well.

That's that.

Privacy Intrusion

Dear Zach,

I invited this Sarawakian guy over to my place after my parents were out for medical checkup. I was going through Grindr and my fuck buddy list, contemplating which one should be able to come over at the bright day of 11 am. After several messages exchanged, most of them were at work.

So happened this guy with an avatar pic in Grindr hit me up about swimming classes and stuff. Checked our previous conversation, I ignored his several attempts of pleasantries. We exchanged our details about coaching service and I dropped hint about me as pure bottom. He picked my hint up and we proceed to meeting at my place.

He looks typically Malay, slightly shorter than me, average body with the his posture of arching back, protruding his stomach out as if he has a huge belly. We cut the chase and got down to business. I asked him to strip naked. He was very questioning - asking about whatnot to reduce the awkwardness. But I answered politely as my end goal was to suck his dick and get fucked. We made out and I sucked his 3 inches dick. After barely 5 minutes of foreplay, he nudged me for intercourse.

He is a good fucker. Though not very memorable to the point of moaning my ass out. He asked if he could record our sex - I agreed. At first, he took out his phone and readied to record, but he decided not to do it and drop his phone to the side. But he agreed to use my phone to record our intercourse.

He cum a river on my body. He washed himself while I was on my bed resting with his cum all over my body. He seems uneasy and a bit awkward. A bit unusual of him as he was quite verbally active during our sex. I washed myself after he returned. To diffuse our tension, he brought up about needing my swimming coaching service in later soon and will drop me a message. I was monotonous in answering. I planned to give him a goodbye kiss but he seems restrained. I showed him to the door and slam my door shut.

When I back in my room, I checked my phone to rewatch our sex video. Found out my gallery was opened and the video was gone. Most likely he removed it while I was washing my self. I blocked him on Grindr minutes after he left. The video was suck btw and his dick was barely seen in the video. I am glad he removed it for me.

Extra Service

Dear Zach,

It has been a while.

My time has been occupied lately with swimming coaching lesson and massage service. I have to say, I was able to live through the month last month with the wages of RM1K++ with my hard earned money from coaching lesson and massage service. It was relatively easy money.

I am always looking forward to swimming coaching lesson. Apart from being in the water feeling the cooling chlorinated water splashing against my body, I got to have some naughty session after coaching. It seems unprofessional to have sexual interaction with your clients, but who the fuck cares? As long as we both enjoy it, that is what matters. And I got paid for coaching, so having sex is just extra for my clients.

The sexual encounters mostly initiated in the shower room after the session. Part of me was horny and wanted to have some naughty sessions with my clients who happen to be malay. You probably know how the process of "shower room" fun works, gazing, stealing glance of each other bulge, pretending to ask for shampoo, ended up both lips on each other mouth and start sucking off each other. When things got heated up in the under the shower, we proceed back to his house with full course of sex.

Both of us were delighted after sex, saying "I found a good coach for myself finally" with a wink.
Well, to be honest, I post my ads on Grindr and some gay forum, so what do I expect to give in the end?

Sex after coaching happens literally on most coaches these days. How can we both resists when both of us are gay and half naked in the pool with each other?

Giving Up

Dear Zach,

I am giving my fitness career.

I have had enough of the stagnant progress in my career and all I see in my working circle is getting smaller and most of my co-workers are jumping out from this fitness career before it is too late.

I spent 10 grands in courses in the hope of getting an attractive salary package. I was dead wrong. I wasn't paid up on par of my credentials. I was paid even less than it should have been. Cut it short, I was a fool for spending so much in myself in turn I got nothing back.

People in Malaysia are mostly obese and not willing to pay for trainers to train them. Tbh, everything is on Youtube and who really needs a trainer?

I guess it is not too late to change my career.

Lost

Dear Zach,

I have been jobless for a month now. Apart from doing outcall massage and swimming coaching for active income, I have no channel else to generate anymore income.

I have looked through Youtube for ideas on how to create my own startup business. I did a small crafting on my own; Turned out it was a mess. I was fascinated by apparel business; everyone is doing it now and it would render me competitively disadvantage. I searched over the internet for ideas. It just didn't occur to me.

Since I am jobless and financially tight, I spent my time at home only.

It probably gonna be a long months to come. 

Massage and Sex

Dear Zach,

He has been messaging me through instagram for quite some time, asking about training and stuff. At first, I was reluctant.

But as time went by, we chatted and both of us shown a bit of interest in each other.

He is typical malay with the typical look. Which I fancy a lot.

Recently, he sort of bugging me again. This time I tried my luck telling him that I was doing outcall massage service. He showed sign of interest.

We decided to meet in a hotel I previous did massage for. He came and picked me up.

He looks surprisingly smart in real person.

When we settled in the hotel, we both stripped naked. Him laying on the bed on his stomach.

His skin is smooth which i fancy a lot. Typical brown malay skin tone.

I was constantly hard-on when I massaged his body. Of course, his hands was constantly playing with my anus.

When we done with the massage, I made a move by sucking his 5 inches dick. Wet and slippery.

He slowly moved to passionate make out, and intense rimming.

I can't recall when was the last I got rimmed so good. He is a natural good rimmer and I enjoyed it getting rimmed so much.

He fucked me so bad. Probably that's what he wanting to do so long since we made exchange in Instagram. And I told him to go harder.

We both cummed together. He said if he want to have massage again, he will definitely find me.

My First Experience As A Massage Boy

Dear Zach,

It was called a low class job but I did it regardless. It was a rather quick money to get.

I posted an ad of myself on forum. The next day I was asked if I ever offered outcall massage.

I debated whether I should ignore him. Being jobless and aimless for my life now, I decided to reply with my offer.

He gladly accepted it and we met in a hotel. Truthfully, I wasn't nervous at all. Mainly because I need money.

I was greeted with a knock moment later from a 40 year old ish Indian man. We settled down ourselves with small talk.

Moment later, we were butt-naked and he settled himself on his stomach on the bed. Slowly, I showcased my massage skill that I learnt from the Youtube 2 hours ago.

Thank God, he preferred gentle massage. So I didn't have to really apply too much pressure.

I spent good ol' 50 minutes massaging him and being molested. And he was nice.

His dick is typically uncut. Which mean you couldn't pull the foreskin down. I tried to pull down, but it seemed "glued" inside. Kinda disgusting but I got over it.

I jerked him off and got it done.

And I was paid as according to the deal we made.

I accepted it without any sense of shame or regret.

Funnily, I am satisfied with myself for making my first earning by myself.

Jobless Syndrome

Dear Zach,

I am, again, finding myself falling into one of these jobless syndrome.

What does it actually mean? It is when you are jobless and having nothing else to do besides being jobless; upset because you are not working; thinking about what went wrong; complaining to the air that life treated me unfair all the time; complaining to the air that people at the old workplace sucks and they are so low level thinking that I was better than them; irritated easily over small issue; thinking about my validation instead of my qualification; emotional at night thinking about being jobless all over again; cry.

I am soon to be jobless actually. I don't know whether I should be crying or laughing. What have I done to my previous life?

Knowing that I will be jobless soon. I am bringing my scowl face all the time to workplace. People start keeping me a distance which I don't actually care. I feel like they are ganging up against me. I feel like the world is against me. Period.

I don't know what else I should do next anymore. Probably be a male escort?

Passive Sex Is A No No

Dear Zach,

This malay lad has been knocking on my grindr inbox for quite sometimes. He was either staying in a hotel where it is too far away or a place where the traffic is forever congested. I declined travelling to his place.

Last Saturday, he messaged me again.

"Getting anyone to fuck you today?", he wrote.

"Ya." I said.

He was willing to travel to my place nearby and get a hotel room for 2 hour sex. I agreed then we met at night. I suggested the hotel which is very nearby to my home and it costs RM30 for 2 hours. He didn't mind paying since he can claim back.

I met him in the room and he looked typical Malay - slim, brown, and average height. Before I could even settle down he made a move from my back and started caressing my chest underneath my shirt. And his 6 inches dick got hard instantly. He proudly grabbed his junk with his pants on showing me how huge his dick is. I tasted bigger than that honestly. I didn't say it out.

We removed our shirt and started making out fiercely. I sucked him ferociously because it tasted great. He seems so proud of his junk and laid against the wall looking at me dominantly. I hated that look.

He even asked me to roll the condom on him. And pretty much you can imagine the whole sex. He was being quite passive. Me basically spending all the time sitting on him humping on his dick. I didn't like it even though it fits my ass perfectly. He loved it how I humped his dick hard when there were people walking by outside our room. I purposely did that. "Shhhhh. Calm down! They could hear." I can see that he enjoyed when I did that - telling the world we are having gay sex.

We did doggy. Missionary. He stopped half way because his dick couldn't get hard enough. Quite disappointing. In the end, we didn't cum. I didn't plan to cum for him. So we laid on bed, briefly getting to know each other. Though I don't pretty much like him. I was kinda being straighforward to everything he asked. I didn't care if he likes it.

In the end, we made out again in the room when we about to leave. Both of us got hard again, him wanting to fuck me again. The thought was tempting. But I didn't want to have a passive sex again. So i bend over and gave one final deep suck on his dick and I said "next time".
 

Email Changed!

Dear Zach,

My previous email was used for almost 8 years since and recently I found that it's quite a mess when your discreet blog email is using the same one with your personal one. I have 5 emails now and it's quite a hassle to manage one by one. Because of that I decided to remove the old one and using dearzachblog@gmail.com as the primary contact.

Well, a change have to come. That old previous email has been abused with many dirty stuff I did over the past years. lol.

I have a lot of thing to share. I don't know where to start. There were times I planned to close this blog. But thinking it has been here for its existence for many people out there, I decided to leave it here.

To be honest, not much people read blogs these days. I doubt only a handful of reader out there. People would rather have a picture to follow than reading boring words on site to understand.

And thanks to those who email me whether i am still alive. I still am. I still having sex.

25

Dear Zach,

After living 25 years as human being, I've got to know that people are scary as fuck. People are culprit of hatred and disappointment. I don't have to live 50 years to realize that.

Turning 25 is nothing new to me except the fact that I was another year older with the prospect of losing my job yet again. Right after my birthday the next day, I dove into a heated argument with my superior about my remuneration. When comes to this sensitive issue, I have no tolerance to anyone albeit he's my boss. I worked hard for this new workplace although I was paid lesser than my previous workplace did. I did not complain. I was told that my special allowance was subject to change under management discretion. For fuck sake, I wasn't told a thing about this before I signed. Accusation thrown across the room between the two of us. I was so upset and disappointed. I was already paid less, am I that undervalued for my skills and qualification?

This was the second time I've been through such situation in my previous workplace. I am in despair. 

I am planning to quit working under people and work for my own. I am sick of these conflict of interest bullshit. I have nothing to lose but my own integrity.

25 is probably another worst year yet. 

Sex In The Office

Dear Zach,

My fantasy of having sex in the office has come true.

Our sexual tension have been brimming up since we chatted over Grindr for few days. I didn't expect he was one of the close friend of my superior. He is stocky, has some belly fat, and cute like a bear. He showed me his 5.5 inches dick in Grindr which is enticing.

That night, my manager did not come in to the office, in which he knew it before me. He purposely hinting about coming to meet me in the office in Grindr. I was all alone in the office. Later, the door swung by and there he was. I knew he would come. I acted surprised.

We chatted a little. And he locked all the doors of the office. And I slowly moved toward him and sat on his lap. We started making out passionately. Our hands were all over each other and he slipped his both hands down the back of my ass and held it firmly. It was like those office sex affair you would see in the movie. I was so excited and nervous at the same time.

We proceed our making out session to a darker room, I sat on the cabinet and he started licking all over my body. We fucked from one corner of the desk to the floor to the toilet to another office room to the floor. Our session lasted almost 2 hours plus rest in between. He cum a huge load on my body. 

I washed myself off and we left the office separately. It was great experience but I will never do that again. 

Semiannual STD/HIV check-up

Dear Zach,

I got my results yesterday after I went for blood test on Wednesday.

And I am grateful that my result is clean.

It's getting more and more expensive the checkup these days. It costed me RM240.

Though as I should be aware, things are never cheap these days.

xx

I'm Not Dead

Dear Zach,

It has been a month since I last blogged about my sexcapes and that experience was dated back last year. I would say my current shift to my new job environment was nothing new to me anymore. I have come to realization and terms that job hopping was part of my life experience that I would have to go through. Or ,shall I put this way, I would definitely job-hop in every fucking year. And I adapted to such situation with trying-to-be positive. Though, as time went by, I am numbed to it - I just needed a job to live. I've grown to become a realist. I'm too real people start to wonder if I am being sarcastic. Being in midst 20, I have no tolerance to bullshit and stupidity. I speak what my mind says it's real and truthful.

My list of regular sex partners for last year are turning the new page. Months of not meeting up has lead to halt of regular contact. which I don't bother much. Much to my surprise, I moved on pretty quickly with new supply of dick from Grindr and Hornet. I got bored easily with a same guy I had sex with 3 times. As you can see from my list, I don't stick to one guy. Since I am back on Instagram, my inbox is constantly with new messages of hooking up. I really don't buy the notion of sticking to one partner rules. ( that will be discussed more about it in next post). I've fucked with guys with partners and wife. To me, I am more than fine with it because it is not my fault for not knowing beforehand.

My sex life is not going great. Since I started this new job, my working hour is extra long. I wish I could just get a rich daddy and quit working for life.  

The Untold Story: Sex With Security Guard

Dear Zach,

It was middle of last year (I wasn't sure), this guy from hornet hit me up as he was staying nearby. We chatted for a while with "malay" dialect on message box. He told me he was available at his place from 10 pm til next morning 5 am. So I met him at 11 pm. Initially, I thought he was staying somewhere near the factory area. As I drove through that area, I realized that no one would actually stays here unless you are patron. Turned out, I was right. The guy opened the door for me when I arrived. He was wearing his patron uniform. I was really surprised and the thought of having sex in the factory with a security guard has turned me on so much. 

He spoke with me in Indonesian dialect when we settled down in his small security room - it was made of wood, enough for max 2 persons. The window was quite high above the waist line, so when we sat on the wooden floor, no one would actually saw us from the outside except the light flickering slightly above. And he was a heavy smoker. Minutes had passed. We slowly moved into making out, the heavy scent of cigarettes turned me on even more, we stripped each other naked, though he has a small belly, and a tattoo on his right arm, overall, he was quite solid from the day of labor works. I bend over and suck his rock hard 6 inches dick. The setting was quite uncomfortable because we both avoid standing up too obvious butt-naked through the window. 

Boy, he can fuck. Indo guy is seriously good in sex. Probably the limited choices around and constantly being looked down for low class status, they tend to get lesser sex than the normal people. He fucked me hard and fast I was suppressing myself from moaning too loud. Once we had cum, his dick was still rock hard. I asked if he still want to fuck. He said yes. As we ran out of condom, I decided to suck him. But he took too long to cum. So I told me fuck me again next time. 

This was my first time having sex with a security guard. 

Unprecedented Good Sex

Dear Zach,

It's been a week since I last had sex. I wasn't in the sex mood for hookup due to my job issue. Last night, I log on my Grindr when I backed home from work. There was this malay guy I have been planning up to meet since the beginning of the year. There was always something came up whenever we planned to meet. Just so when I log on my Grindr, I got his message 2 minutes ago and he was relatively near to my place. I invited him over. 

He looks alright. Typical malay look but he's friendly. Minute after we settled down on bed, we started making out. He's such a great kisser. He brought my legs over and started rimming my anus for good ol' 20 minutes in total. He loved rimming so much I swear his tongue is magic. And his 6 inches thick dick fit well in my mouth. Our foreplay last for 30 minutes alone. 

In the middle of fucking me, his phone started to vibrate and he had to answer the call. I moved toward him and started teasing his nipple while he was talking to the phone. He was basically absentmindedly listening to the phone speaking, so I sealed my lips with his. We started making out intensely while his phone is still attached to his ear. It was so hot. It was like some sex scene from a movie whereby a hooker making out with a married man while talking to his wife over the phone. He positioned himself and fucked me from my back while his phone was still attached to his ear. 

"yeah... ... I .. understand." Talking down to his phone while undulating his hip against my ass. 

"fuck.." He mumbled softly. I hoped the guy over the phone didn't hear it. 

In the end, we recorded down our dick playing and cumshot. Jeez, he cum a river on my body and I felt like I wanna drink it all. 

The video was 6 minutes long. It was fucking hot.  

Losing Job

Dear Zach,

I'm on the verge of losing my job. Again. I was given heads up about it. By end of this month, I could be very likely to tender my resignation for my own good.

I am not in the mood of having sex lately due to this matter and constant diarrhea for past 1 week.

xx

My Sex Record

Dear Zach,

Last year, I came across one of the blogger who wrote about recording his number of sex escapades. And I was truly amazed by how much guys he had fucked over the year without realization. So here I am, decided to make an excel spreadsheet to record down my number of sex I have for the next coming months. Starting this month onward, I already had 6 sex within 15 days. You really can't blame a hoe for doing what a hoe does. 

Here it is the google spreadsheet you can view online : MY SEX LIST 

Weekend Hard Sexs

Dear Zach,

Over the weekend, I was in constant mood of lethargic. Blued, Grindr, and Hornet were my partner in crime. I constantly refreshed over these three apps for fun. I wasn't horny, but I was itching for sex. There were a lot of messages. Though the chat died down with a few exchange. 

On Saturday evening, a message popped in Grindr from a malay guy. He stays in UPM which is a mile away. I went to his place and we started kissing the moment we seated. He is averagely built. Nothing special. But his excellence foreplay skills has heightened my sexual carnal. He couldn't stop rimming my ass. His dick was 5 inches long. He fucked me hard and fast I wasn't expecting it. The whole session last one hour. 

I didn't want to have sex on Sunday. I was quite bleak over the cloudy days. I got a few messages planning to meet up at his place or meeting at abandoned building for outdoor sex. But I wasn't up for that. After dinner, I got a message from Hornet. He's malay but look very chinese to me. We chatted over there for 10 minutes and agreed to meeting up at his place which is just 10 minutes away from my home. I was led to his bedroom after arriving. His body is a faded outcome of gym negligence. But the built is there. Which I like. We started making out. Boy he's such a good kisser. Underneath of his pant was a growing 6 inches hard dick. It was kinda huge to my mouth but I enjoyed it with several attempts of deepthroat. I sit on him initially. As thing got heated up, he pinned down on bed and fucked me senseless with each hard and fast stroke. Goshhhh. He cummed inside of me while fucking me in doggy style. 

It was such a fulfilling weekend. How hoe I was! 

Sex With Married Malay Guy

Dear Zach,

I wasn't in the mood of talking to anyone when I was scrolling through Grindr. Then, this malay guy hit me a few times with his picture but I was neglected at first. But today I wasn't in the good mood to do anything, I replied back "hi". Without further ado, he asked for meet up. He is staying 800meters away from my workplace. He suggested to check in hotel right opposite of my workplace in walking distance. Suit me well! 

I cleaned myself quickly and received his room number. I arrived at the door step in 5 minutes. He is shorted than me slightly. But he looks better in real. Typical malay man over 30. I would say he is quite handsome to me. We exchanged a few gesture. Got to know about him slightly that he is a married man. 

We hugged on the bed, and we started kissing. And I sensed that he wasn't into kissing (quite common for most malay guys who do not kiss) so I didn't continue kissing him. He was so into my nipple. Constantly sucking it and licking it. And I was obsessed with his 6 inches dick. His skin is so smooth and tan which I love very much. His body is averagely solid build. Typical man working at offshore. I sucked his dick furiously as usual. While he was enjoying being sucked, I slid my tongue underneath and rim his smooth ass. He loved it so much asking me not to stop. He couldn' wait any longer, I grabbed the condom and put it on him, and I sat on his dick. Fit my ass perfectly. I rode his dick like riding a horse. He was surprised by me. 

"wow you are so skillful!" He said.

He grabbed my ass and flip it over, laying on my stomach and facing the mirror, I could see myself being penetrated by him. It was a hot scene looking at the mirror seeing myself being fucked by this hot daddy. It was hard, intense, and passionate sex that we both put our efforts in pleasing each other. He seemed to know that I could go on for more, he pump my ass hard and fast. This lasted 40 minutes. He cummed a river on my body. 

Once we were done, we laid on the bed cuddling, talking and getting know each other. He has 2 kids. His wife will be going on trip tonight for 3 days. I didn't inquire further. We laid there and smoother each other smooth skins to get the last feeling before we bid goodbye. 

Hope to see him again.  

Unfriending

Dear Zach,

We all live by social media. All of us, majority, spend hours on social media in a day combined. Following someone on social media means we are making friends virtually but not spiritually. We hook up with guys through social media after seeing validated pictures of yourself. We end our relationship by mostly clicking "unfriend" button on Facebook to prove that thing is over in less-dramatic way. I did this too. I usually unfriend those we didn't keep in touch for so long or people I don't think it would help me grow in anyway or people I don't even know personally well. 

Social media is seriously ruining our relationship. It all started out without intimacy between two physical being. By that, we all judge each other the way we type things to please each other. Mostly, we spend a good amount of time to think what to write in order to appeal the opposition. We have time to be a good kind of person the opposition wanted when we are not. We become somebody we are not. This was me for the past few years portraying somebody I am not. Hence, ended up with assholes.

I am saddened by the fact that this is happening now. I was unfriended by one of my fav sex buddy. I was appalled by his action. Last night, I was able to view his profile. Because I missed him real bad. We did not meet for 3 months because he was temporarily transferred to other part of KL for work. He said he will be back this month. When I texted him yesterday "I miss you so much.". He read it but did not reply. It's okay. I did not expect him to reply because he is a busy man. This morning, when I tried to view his profile, I was shocked to see that he unfriended me. I confront him over chat box which I usually don't do if people unfriended me and I would usually block them forever.

I'm not sure why you unfriended me. I thought we were good. I'm really upset that the fact you made this move.

"I'm sorry. I'm in hospital." He replied in a min.

"What is wrong? What did you unfriend for that?" I demanded.

"I'll tell you when I recover. I will add u back."

"I'm heartbroken. I miss you a lot. I am sad that you didn't trust me."

"Don't feel that way." He said. 

His contact was removed from my list after that.

What About Us?

Dear Zach,

I have been through heartbreak. Well, mildly heartbreak. Though it wasn't major. But still I can feel the hurtfulness. Over the years, I have been treated in such a way like having a relationship but nothing serious yet. There were times I seriously thought thing could get serious if I put some effort into it. My over-jealousy always got the best of me. I tend to overthink. Which ended up in petty argument. And whenever I brought up the topic about us in the future, somehow it would lead to "I don't want to think about it so much now."

Isn't it too selfish of them to say that? What do you mean by you don't want to think about it now? Do you really think being together is just about sex? There were some point I got really emotional about this statement. It irked me that I was just a sex object to many of them. They denied it. Though deep down inside they just want a "drama-free-loyal-sex". How the fuck do you want to have that? Do you really think every couple being together would be drama free?

I gave up the notion of it. Gave up having a relationship. Since the guys are opting for drama free sex, I am happily to comply.

Started The Year with A bang

Dear Zach,

I woke up with a ranging hardon. I hollered this Bisexual boy, that we both wanting to meet up a lot of time but to no avail, over to my place while my parents were away for brunch for 2 hours.

I greet him by the door and he said, "You look skinnier than before."

Indeed, as compared to few months back, my weight has dropped from 70 kg to 66 kg. It was a sudden shift of my training regime, hence my weight dropped significantly. But my abs is prominent. I am happy with that.

I sucked his smooth 6 inches dick for good ol' 15 minutes before he penetrated me.

I was kinda surprised he made a request which he usually afraid of doing.

"Can we record it down?"

I agreed. We recorded a few sex videos of us with different fucking position. We fucked like solid 40 minutes and he wasn't tired at all. In the end, I asked him to cum on my back.

".. you are the first guy I had sex with in 2018 ..."

What a great day to start a new year! Here's my cum-on-my-back pic. Look how slim I've become!