Saturday, March 29, 2014

If I Were To Start All Over Again


Dear Zach,

If there was any possibility that I was given a chance to start all over again for everything has to do with my sexuality, for some people that would be a HUGE yes, but for me I would rather give up on this chance of a lifetime to continue on my winding road as I knew it. I am pretty much contented with my own whirlwind going around me and it is adventurous to be able to have been through it by myself.

I really do not want to resort to the past year figuring out who the hell I am. I am pretty sure the journey would have been similar to what I had already gone through, except the formal one was way too exciting and thrilling and sometimes I got hardon when I think of it leisurely. I made mistakes along the way; I have learnt from them. But I would never repeat the same thing ever again. Learning can never be stopped until you are dead.

I believe everyone has their own story to be told in theirs’ most comfortable way. My blog is my own comfort zone and it is the only ‘friend’ I am able to find solace. I am glad that I am able to be stronger than I thought I could be every single day.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Life Lately …


Dear Zach,

… has been exhausting yet fulfilling. I literally have spent my entire time sitting in my room reading journal articles for my research purpose more than I read for the past few months I could remember. The good news is that I have done my research proposal and just some touching up has to be done before submission in two weeks time. It was such a huge relief when I finally have the huge burden off my chest only to realize exam weeks are only few weeks away.

I cannot help but to think about life after University as I am only few months away from finishing my entire degree life. It gives me shiver every time I try to think about it. Not because life after University sounds horrifying as what most people told me, is the time I spent in my University life that I am going to miss. Even though four years of having been in University, especially my own small room in dormitory, is not that long, I still consider this place as my second home. It feels like I have gotten used to life being here, independently work out my life day after day, and the best part is I have attached to this lifestyle I do not want to change it at all. Sometime changes are inevitable. Learning to relinquish something you love is the hardest part of all, but moving on from the original spot is of important. Soon I am going to have to adapt these changes and start a entirely new life after graduation.

Speaking of life after Uni, I have been thinking a lot about my career and job scope that I am interested in. It is such a headache moment when you want to look for a job that you really like that you do not want to spend the rest of your life raving and ranting about how sucks your job is. I have even discussed with my parents about my career and they are fully support of my whatever decision I will make. I have been asked if I intend to pursue my Master after that. Truth be told, I have not really given a thought about furthering my studies because I have zero intention of doing that. All I ever wanted to do is to get a decent job and start earn for living. I have to pick up my responsibility to take care of my parents even though I have my elder brother doing so. And my parents could not afford to have me going abroad for further studies. Hence, if I ever intend to do so I will have to start working my ass off for that. Plus, I want to spend as much time as possible with my parents as they are my closest people in the world. Life is too short and we can never predict what will gonna happen next in few hours. Bottom line, I would not want to go abroad for any occasion unless it is for business purpose.  

As for now, I just have to do my best as I can be to complete my studies. Hopefully, everything turns out to be good as I thought it would be.

© Dear Zach
Maira Gall