Sunday, December 14, 2014

Part Of Me : Bad Temper


Dear Zach,

One of my major flaws is my temper – a very bad temper. Not that I am always in the state of being hot-headed, it’s just that whenever thing turns out not the way I expect, my mind will be lost and frantically searching for solutions, and that’s when my temper is boiling up. It could have been worst if I were in a warm or hot environment, with people talking non-stop beside my ears, needless to say it literally boost up my temper to the highest level in no time.

Because of the major flaw of mine, I had driven away my high school best friend – mainly not because of my bad temper, but it was about the comment she made about men, and now we had become stranger. She did make an effort in reconciliation of our friendship, but once it’s broken, it’s considered sold. I had also driven away a special guy I fond of – that time I was in my bad mood and my temper was at the brim of shooting up, his text message to me after not contacting for months had made me even angrier, I replied him my first line with “hey, stranger.”. And he got upset about it. After a few line, not even ten lines, of niceties, but not very nice of me to him, I sent him an emoticon marking the end of our conversation. I guess that’s the end of our whatever-ship. And there’s a few guys I also had driven away – especially him. If he couldn’t accept who I am, I am not gonna change myself just to please him, so just let the bygones be bygones.

My mum has always told me that my temper could kill my career someday. I know that. I tried my hardest to be calm and easy as humanly possible. I have been training to be calm as opposed to what I am supposed to be. It helps me a lot from not going hot-headed toward anyone. It’s a bad trait of being a Taurus. But, I am still a human too – I have my emotions, and am just wanting to let it all out telling the world I am not the person whom they think I am. It’s really frustrating and tired of pretending someone I try to be, instead of being someone I want to be.

Sometimes I just had no idea who I am anymore. If only trying to find parts of yourself and putting it together is as simple as putting the pieces of puzzle together.

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Maira Gall