Dear Zach,
"Will you cheat if you ever have a boyfriend?"
The answer is ... Yes. I will.
It doesn't take long enough for me to think about it. It's pretty obvious - I don't believe in monogamy. Not anymore at least. I read stories about monogamous relationship. It started off usually fine; all about love and shit, sex's great, talking about dream and being together forever. The fallout most commonly happens after 6 months; bickering, shouting match, fighting over nothing, sex greatly reduced to almost none, estranged from each other, eventually one of them start snooping around with other men. It's a vicious cycle.
I used to believe in love. Head over heels in love. However, over the past years, my faith in it has gradually lost. Most men I've hooked up with cheated on their partner with me. With me. I felt like shit for knowing the truth. That didn't bother me for long enough. Not that I was gonna repent for my sin. From that, I know. Men are full of shit. Men have sexual need that have to be fulfilled, not from one source but as many as possible. Let's take my fuck buddies for instance, we used to have sex every weekend. As the month went by, sex was less frequent. When I texted them, they always have a fucking excuse to turn you down. Once is enough, twice is too much, third time I completely removed them from my contact list forever. I don't need them anymore. Even my fuck buddies eventually got tired of me, how can I expect something being different from a man if we were in a relationship?
Yes. I will cheat. I won't get my heart broken over a man who cheat on me.
perhaps you haven't found the ONE?
ReplyDeletebut yeah, hetero or homo, each section have their fair share of cheating.
it's not really about finding the ONE; it's all down to one man's credibility. I'm not a huge believer in monogamy. Be it the One or not, i believe he will definitely cheat.
DeleteHope you'll find the credible one and perhaps get to do the 'I do' part as mentioned in your earlier post. :)
DeleteI don't know why, but I feel the term "the one" is incredibly sad. Because why should there only be one person in this vast world that will make you go totally insane in a glorious way. Instead, I believe in many. There are many "the ones" and sometimes they're the one for a long time and sometimes not. Because people do change over time and just because the one becomes not the one doesn't mean that there isn't another the one right around the corner. But that's just me. A polyamorous optimist.
Deleteabsolutely on point, Bruce!
DeleteNo. I ain't gonna sit back there and wait for my prince-oh-so-charming to come by and sweep off my feet. Fairy tale is full of shit. And I don't believe about loyalty in gay relationship either. How many successful example whereby both man could stay loyal to each other without cheating for over 10 years? Absolutely zero. It's all down to how we define the "one".
So, as my screen name suggests, I'm a cheater. But we actually still have lots of amazing sex. And yes we bicker at times but most of the time we snuggle and he falls asleep with his head on my chest. The reason for the cheating is a little different. My ideal situation is where we are both open and honest about our outside activities but he'd feel threatened by that type of arrangement. And I know he's played on the side and it would turn me on if he told me every detail but instead he keeps it a secret because if he told me than I'd have free reign to do the same and that would tear him up. Anyway, my reason for writing all this is that I'm glad you're not going to go with the conventional and know what works for you. But also know that full on head over heals love is also available for you too and those two desires aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. Rock on, kiddo!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Bruce..... You can still find love!
Deletethank you both of you. Conventional way is too rigid and suffocating nowadays and it's understandable why cheaters exist.
DeleteWith a mindset like that, you're already setting yourself up to fail in any kind of relationship that you may have in the future.
ReplyDeleteI know relationships are not for everyone, and yes soooo many people cheat.. But still, saying that you are already gonna cheat even before you get into a relationship means you really shouldn't be in one or understand what it is.
Firstly, who says that with a mindset like that would fail in any kind of relationship? You never know. It can go both way. It's all down to mutual understanding from both parties.
DeleteAnd thanks for saying that I shouldn't be in one. I'll probably should have 2 or 3 relationship at once.
就是像你这样的人令同性恋不被社会认同，甚至被歧视。你的人生很糟糕，因为你永远都不会找到属于自己的位置。
ReplyDelete可悲，真的好可悲。。。
Google Translation (For those who don't know):
Delete" People like you who make homosexuality is not recognized by the community , and even discrimination . Your life is very bad, because you will never find your own position .
Sad , really sad "
Oh hey buddy! Thanks for your comment. I appreciated it. Haters gonna hate. And FYI, zero fuck given to you.
How bout finding guys who are okay and are into open relationship from the beginning? Then you won't have to 'cheat' :D
ReplyDeletetrue that. at least we won't feel so guilty about it having cheated.
Delete