Thursday, July 31, 2014

Love & Sex


Dear Zach,

I have stumbled upon a few blogs that I usually stalked, or at least I have stalked once in a while, to have known that most of them are happily attached. By reading their posts about how they spent their time with theirs’ partner, to me it is such a wonderful news to have heard some people like us to have finally found someone they can fully trust and love and to be taken care of as what a couple should be. On the other hand, I have read a few posts about breaking up with their partner after having been together for 6 months or 3 years, moving on from breakup with full positivity. Though I am not sure if they are able to handle such breakup by ingraining themselves with optimisms or still reeling over the traumatic breakup. But I am sincerely hoping they are doing well.

It’s good to know there are people out there still believe in love and still searching for it even though we both know the fact that such rare kind of love is on the edge of extinction. Not because people do not practice traditional way of seeking love but because of how the community itself being accustomed to such ‘modern’ way, for example: sex at first sight followed by whatever thing you think you call love. Yes. It’s the way how the gay society works and we both know we can hardly escape from such circumstances. It is funny when those guy on Grindr describe themselves with ‘only LTR’ but ended up they are the one who approaches you with ‘hey, fun? where at?’. So that means you want ‘LTR with FUN and it only takes place in somewhere on earth?’. I can’t help but sarcastically laugh at those guy who so called themselves as LTR-seekers.

I love sex. I enjoy sex with different guys. You can say I am a slut. No offence taken. But I, myself, is an old-fashioned type of guy when comes to dating. If possible, I could restrain from having sex with the guy I date. Because dating with a guy you like is remotely different from shagging a guy you lust. Sometimes dating is the new form of sex. A non-physical, mind-connecting, mind-boggling, reverie, much immense and intense feeling form of … sex. I don’t know what kind of theory is that but whatever. A guy who practices old-fashioned way of dating is a guy who is worth keeping. This kind of guy is virtually going to extinct.

But what makes me losing faith in this gay circle is the proposition of having open relationship, which eventually lead to cheating each other VERY frequently, especially having been together for two year at most, things between two persons starting to change, and then two persons drift apart calling it off, followed by crying and feeling depressed in post-breakup moment, and crying again, having sleepless nights for months, til then you will realize it’s time to move on. It’s a one big cycle. If only I could draw a chart showing the correlations between all of it. Though it’s hard for people to endure such process, but it’s a valuable experience you could gain from each and every relationship you have ever been in. That’s what makes you wiser and tougher than you ever were.

Love can either make or break you. It always does something influential to people. I always admire people who are still able to be optimistic when comes to forgetting the past relationship. Or at least pretending to be. Which either way is a good thing instead of holding on to same spot mulling over something which is unchangeable. Sometimes it is good to have fallen in love, fallen out love, and repeated the same cycle, til you really realize thing you ever wanted in life. When love comes knocking around, it certainly does something funny to you – the happiest person alive. 


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