50 Shades Of Never-Trust-A-Guy

 

Dear Zach,

1. Never trust a guy with a good face.
2. Never trust a guy with a hot body.
3. Never trust a guy with a huge bulge.
4. Never trust a guy with the combination of good face and hot body and huge bulge.
5. Never trust a guy’s word before getting laid.
6. Never trust a guy’s word during sex.
7. Never in a million years trust a guy’s word after having sex. Especially this one.
8. Never trust a guy who thinks he is clean.
9. Never trust a guy who has unprotected sex.
10. Never trust a guy who never has unprotected sex.
11. Never trust a guy who says he would definitely see you again after sex.
12. Never trust a guy who says he would call you.
13. Never trust a guy who prefers texting over a phone call or meeting face2face.
14. Never trust a guy who says he misses you.
15. Never trust a guy who says he misses you over a text.
16. Never trust a guy who very much sexting all the time.
17. Never trust a guy who says he likes you.
18. Never trust a guy who says he really likes you while himself still in a relationship.
19. Never trust a guy who says he really likes you so much over a text.
20. Never trust a guy who says he really likes you but never made an effort of doing something likeable. So much for the likes.
21. Never trust a guy who has Grindr or Jack’d. Or both.
22. Never trust a guy who doesn’t have Grindr or Jack’d. Or both.
23. Never trust a guy who is gay and has never heard of Grindr and Jack’d. You will have my approval to slap him.
24. Never trust a guy who says he would be loyal after having a relationship.
25. Never trust a guy who says he would never have threesome in a relationship.
26. Never trust a guy who says he would never have an open relationship.
27. Never trust a guy who says he doesn’t miss his exes.
28. Never trust a guy who still hang out with his exes.
29. Never fucking trust a guy who is a two-timer.
30. Never trust a guy who breaks your promise.
31. Never trust a guy who betrays you trust.
32. Never trust a guy who goes to gay saunas.
33. Never trust a guy who goes to club.
34. Never trust a guy in the club.
35. Never trust a guy who goes buddy-buddy with everyone he barely knows.
36. Never trust a guy who has an ugly heart.
37. Never trust a guy who is so flamboyant.
38. Never trust a guy who asks for booty-call.
39. Never trust a guy who treats a relationship so flippant.
40. Never trust a guy who never takes thing seriously.
41. Never trust a guy who is filthy rich. I personally hate this one.
42. Never trust a guy who works as a pilot.
43. Never trust a guy who works as a doctor.
44. Never trust a guy who works as a negotiator. 
45. Never trust a guy who is smarter than you.
46. Never trust a guy who reads.
47. Never trust a guy who is gay-popular.
48. Never trust a guy who is ready for commitment.
49. Never trust a guy who is ready to spend the rest of his life with you.
50. Never trust a guy who loves you.

 

The idea of writing this down just came out of the blue. 90% of it are based on my experience as a gay guy.

xx