Vulnerable

 

Dear Zach,

Hey everyone! I had survived through the midst week and am still surviving and feeling ever stronger – not sure if I am stronger than I think or pretend to be someone I am not.

I still have doubts in my capability in this job handling. It’s been 10 days since I started working. I faced challenges everyday but not every time I could overcome it. Most of the challenges are rejection, especially when you got rejected by 30 persons per day. How would you feel?

Today, I got rejected by more than 30 persons. Needless to say, my result’s showing sucks. I tried to hold back my tears while standing in front of the bank, waiting and trying every ounce of my energy to stop customers with a fake smile plastered on my face, but to no avail. I keep telling myself, Stay strong, be positive. As the more I got rejected, the more despair I had become. There’s a split second I wanted to give up and go home – I didn’t. I tried my hardest to stop every person walking pass by me when there’s only 2 minutes left til cutoff period.

I picked my stuff and walked back to my car, ignited my engine, laid back to take a deep breath. My eyes were brimming with warm tears and my voice chocked.

After holding back my tears for 10 days, I’ve finally let down the side of my vulnerability.