Never Say Never

 

Dear Zach,

It had been a roller coaster ride for the past 6 days. I basically had left my laptop untouched everyday after I came back home from work, feeling exhausted after long day of standing outside pitching to customers. I have learnt filthy much in the past six days. I have learnt to fail and failed to learn. I have got to know my mistakes so much that it starting to accumulate into huge big pile of mess inside of me. And the most frustrating and saddening thing was that I couldn’t even successfully close the targeted sales everyday. I was feeling useless and really disappointed in myself thinking I could have done better than I have expected.

Everyone in the company is surrounded by positive atmosphere. I dare to say that there’s no negative aura lingering around in there because no one wants to be that way – and my boss insists on being positive and happy before walking into the office. I was in shocked when I first came in there. Thinking people in here are all fake, high fiving in passing by, and smiling for no reason. When I realized that it wasn’t fake – it was me being judgmental at the first place. We have to be that way. Because in this kind of business, being negative and judgmental would basically kill your own career path along the way.

Being the always negative side of me, I have tried to change. I had tried not to give up easily. Everyday, I came back home feeling contented with something new I have learnt. I don’t feel boring at all. I have my reason to wake up every morning at 5.30 am, partly because I needed to skip the jam. I woke up feeling driven by the failure I had yesterday. I tried. And tried. And trying. My peers and colleagues never stopped to encourage me, give me advice, tips, and experiences they have to me. I realized everyone in this company started as who I am today. Know nothing about the job scope, feeling depressed about the failure I endured.

When I got to know about the story of everyone behind their success, I didn’t feel like giving up at all – I have to admit at one point I really do want to give up but I didn’t. Today, I didn’t not feel really much enthusiastic today because I lost my sales and was far away from my target sales. It sucks and I feel sucks. And now I have all the more reasons to work 10 times harder than anyone else. I need to prove that I can do what they can do; do what they can’t do.

I am not gonna cry. I am not.

xx