One-Time Policy

 

Dear Zach,

A rhetorical question I have always been asked, especially when I recuperated from sex.

“You had never been in a relationship?”

“Never.” I closed my eyes, having zero intention of dwelling in further more.

And expectedly followed by the Why.

Most of the time I’d just simply give a common answer that everyone who is still single says: “ …still finding the right one ..”

In actuality, it is way more than still finding the right one. I just don’t want to answer to it in detail for that matter. I feel really uncomfortable to have a deep talk about such thing with strangers I have spent time in bed.

I had once hung out with a decent guy I had shagged with. I felt self-conscious and unease. The first time was cool; The second time was way awkward talking about relationship given the fact he was attached after our sexual encounter. After that, I did not keep in touch with him at all. And I intend to cut him out from my life either. It is weird. I was attracted to him physically and wanted him for his flesh at the first place – not his emotions.

I never really hung out with guys I had shagged with. Never. I practice one-time policy and it has always been that way. It is really awkward for me to have spending time with a stranger who has implicitly explored the wondrous anatomy of mine. It is better off having one-time-thing and goes separate ways after that. I never believed the version of theirs’ keeping in touch. Not a single fucking word. Only phony does that - apparently they are. I never keep in touch with them even though I was given their number – after few days I removed their number without hesitation. Because I can and apparently we won’t ever keep in touch as we said.

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