Back To December

Dear Zach,

I woke up every morning with sense of emptiness. I didn't feel that I was lost in my career path. It just that I lost my job again. Gay hookup apps have been my constant need of my sexual satisfaction. I sent out my nudes to almost everyone I came across with hoping to hook up to pass time. I went to gym in the morning in hoping to create a better version of myself. Social medias have caught my full attentions rather than the books in the shelf. I found myself yawning after reading 2 pages of novel - this has never happened to me before. I have been book-hopping from one to another, unable to finish half of it. Swimming pool is my another leisure place for hooking up - hoping someone cute would suck me off and leave. I looked over the internet for jobs. Probably it's toward the end of the year. Not much of job vacancy is being advertised. This takes time i believe. I feel lonely sometimes. Few months ago i thought I found myself a partner, which turns out to be an asshole who just wanted my ass. And all these guys who chatted me up on Instagram/Facebook apparently wanted my ass too. I feel lonely and despair. And I took nap all the times.