My Sexual Preference In Men : Men Over 40

Dear Zach,

I've always had a thing for older men - typically men over 40. Or close to 50. Especially those health-conscious type of guy, they tend to spend more hours in the gym than anywhere else, without fail their existence has become a part of daily routine in the gym. I would always search for guys around that age in gay apps. Most responses are positive. They are always into sex given the age they are now as most guys prefer younger guys or men below 40. Surprisingly, I found out recently that the tide has changed and men over 40 are the major target right now. It's believed that they are either wealthy at that given age or no doubt the masculinity is the main attraction. I'm also a huge believer that men over 40 have big cock. 

I've always been asked that what sort of guys do I always have sex with. They would be surprised by my preference. I had never hooked up with guys below my age, don't fancy hooking up guys at my age, don't like hooking up with guys around my age, but with the exception of owning a hung cock. 

I met this caucasian white guy from Australia last December. He's over 40, tall and broad upper body. We met up at this hotel nearby my place as he has just landed Malaysia few days ago for work. The sex was great! He screwed me with his 7 inches long and thick cock inside of me for good ol' 30 min. We met up again for the next 3 days before he shifted to live in the town. We keep in touch since then. We occasionally have sex once or twice every month. It's either he hit me up or I do. He's always available for sex. But we never had bareback sex once. 

I met this Malay guy in September 2014 when I was an intern. I hit him up in PlanetRomeo. After a few exchanges, we met up at his place. He's 50 , slightly shorter than me, and has nice tan complexion, lean toned physique at his age, and 7 inches dick waiting for me. He was horny as fuck. He screwed me hard and deep. And it was satisfying. We had multiple sex over the month. After that, the sex become less frequent. Last December, he hit me up on Facebook, and he suggested to meet up again. We had sex multiple times over the 3 months. Then it become less frequent. Whenever I hit him up, he always has an excuse. The most intense sex I could remember was on 31 of December 2015, he pull off the condom, and slowly slide into me with his thick cock. He even asked me to call him "papa". "Papa gonna fuck your ass so hard now." He whispered in my ear while I was being screwed over in missionary position.  Ever since then, both of us got paranoid and we decided to stick back with safe sex.   

tbc. 

Raw 2

Dear Zach,

Oh God! I just had raw sex with a regular guy that I didn't meet up for so long. I remember the last time I had raw with was so last year. What was I thinking?! I'm so gonna confine myself in these 3 months time for not having sex anymore. After sex, I keep probing him with question whether he has done any bareback for the last few months, any sign of frequently vomiting, fever, and any discomfort.

"No. I'm healthy as fuck." He said.

His dick seems to be clean without any sign of infection. Feeling guilty. Maybe I am being paranoid?

Raw

Dear Zach,

It's true the fact that when you try to think with your dick, everything in your own principle would go haywire. I'm always a person who cautiously play safe when comes to sex. When being suggested for raw sex, I'd decline that offer. There were times I found myself guiltily breaching my orifice with some raw action. Albeit it was less than 30 seconds of unprotected intercourse, I would feel guilty as fuck the next day. Having that being said, these two guys I have raw are some regular coincidental bump-up. 

The first one was few weeks back in the swimming pool shower room I usually go to. As usual, we both knew what else to do when either one of us is in the shower room - we got down dirty. He was being suggestive by poking his cock at the entrance of my anus, I obliged by perking my ass to welcome him. I thought it was fun to tease him that way. In just one swift move, he has plunged into me. I didn't protest. But he pulled out quickly as if realizing it wasn't right to do that. But that's too late to realize that. 

The second one was happened today. We both bump into each other occasionally in the gym. Whenever that happen, we would always do naughty stuff in the shower room, there would be our casual spot. Today, we both agreed to meet up in the gym shower room earlier than usual. We made out, suck each other. When he turned me around, my ass facing his face, he rimmed me hard. Then he tried to enter me with his hung cock. I didn't resist. He entered smoothly and humped me for a few seconds and pulled out. 

I wouldn't say that I trust them the most. There's a risk I would have to bare. If a less than 30 seconds of bareback would get me in trouble, then my life would be fucked.  

Expose

Dear Zach,

It didn't take long enough for my co-workers to figure out about me when one of them is good at prying info out of somebody. She asked me when I was having my dinner in the pantry, "So do you have girlfriend? Hang on! Are you gay?" I did not instantly protest. In fact, I let the silence fall. I did not answer to her question. I turned the question back to her, "What do you think?". With that, I'm highly suspicious to her. Within days, seemingly everyone at the front desk knew about it - thanks to her fucking unzipped mouth. They seems fine with it even though they highly think I'm, in fact, gay. But they wanted the truth out of me. That to reassure their suspicion is true. One of them trying to test the water but to no avail. One of my co-workers, a malay woman, whom she looks so conventional in terms of dress code, surprised me with a question "Are you gay?". She asked in hushed voice.

"What do you think?" I asked her. 

"I'm fine with it. Don't worry about it. If you are gay, then be it. No point hiding." She said nonchalantly.

"Then yes. I am." From there, it seems to have brought us closer as she's the only one who knows about me. We talked a lot even though we have sort of different dialect. But I'm glad she's very accepting in this sense given the fact that she's a full-fledged Malay. 

I'm pretty sure one of the male trainers knows about me. Because our conversation has been lessen and he seems to have avoided me in engaging any conversation whenever we were alone, in which I couldn't be bothered about that, I'm not much a talker either. 

I'm not afraid of people knowing me. But I do respect people who respect me in terms of my sexual orientation.    

Month Of Augustus

Dear Zach,

Starting anew is somewhat refreshing yet disturbing. But it gives you hope - a hope to start afresh in your life. Drop down the old bad habit, move away the trash under your bed, leave behind the dirty trails of bad memories, forget and forgive people. God know it ain't easy job to carry out but one has to, especially when comes to forgiving. It takes ample of time to change all aforementioned, it's possible to be done not within short period of time. 

It's a new month with new job. I've decided to make changes to myself, partly for my job's sake, for my own good. I can't help but to realize that the next 4 months will be rolling in as fast as blink of eyes. And I also can't help but to realize that I did nothing significant for the past 8 months but to have gained significant experiences in quitting my job, rewriting my resume, and seeking for job. I hope it won't repeat again. My mum even warns me not to give up on this job so soon. "Quit again, you are out of this house." she said. 

My new job is good. My manager said to me that the only thing I need to do is to get fit to get client. Simple as that. I've been eating a healthy diet for the past 2 weeks. It's quite tough to make changes in terms of diet. But these changes are necessary. But working hard in the gym, and eating hard in the kitchen. Hopefully, by end of the year I would be in great shape. 

Update

Dear Zach,

It's headed towards end of the month. So much has happened I couldn't put my thoughts in words easily as it seems. I got an offer as Fitness Instructor in a local gym club and I accepted it on the spot without hesitation. Because I am done waiting and worrying about what if. I want to work that work. And I also enrolled a professional fitness trainer development course and it will be starting next month. Everything seems to be in great place and I couldn't be more happier. I told my parents about my plans to work in Fitness and Health industry. They couldn't complain because they are so done seeing me miserably figuring what the actual fuck I want, they let me go to have my own way. I couldn't be any more grateful for their utmost supports in this matter. In future, I will be taking a lot of health and fitness related courses for my own good. I wanna build a career out of it. Right now, I need to focus one thing at a time - my PT development course, my job, and my body. I have a created a new blog to record my daily tracking progress changes of my physique. I'm dedicated to that to see how it goes in few months time. 

xx

Newsfeed

Dear Zach,

My news feed is currently flooded with "Hilary-Trump" campaigns. Every time I scrolled down my Facebook page, undoubtedly I would be seeing either Trump or Hilary across my feeds. Apparently, I don't care. Pictures of semi-naked men have always to be a favorite of my daily dose of caffeine; Now they are annoying as fuck. Status of people being love, grateful, and tirade complaint of everything and anything has been setting my teeth on edge. I keep getting message notification from this indian guy. We did chat for a while back then. Now I ignored him. The more I ignore him, the more tenacious he is. So I blocked him. And I keep getting request about swimming inquiry. Though it seem to be a good thing, but their intention weren't good enough. I have been asked for pictures. Why the fuck do you need a fucking picture of me when your intention is to learn swimming skill? It doesn't make any fucking sense, does it? Why? What if I am fat guy? Would you still want to have a lesson with me? If you are thinking with your dick when inquiring about something, I will not be polite to you. I am under no obligation to serve any of my privacy for your own viewing pleasure for that matter. I have been fielding booty calls like a CIA. I had too much sex last month; I had a few. I think my orifice is getting tighter with squats and hip-thrust. But I didn't make a good use of it. It's been a long month for me. 

Clear

Dear Zach,

I've set my goal. And I know what I want to do now. With the courageous words from my family and friends, even stranger who knows you for few hours talking about doing what you like to do for your own good, couldn't be any more helpful in steering my doubts away. My mind is clear with what I'm gonna do. And now is up to how I am gonna do it. I've enrolled a training course for next month. It was full of doubts but I took the chance. I can't worry so much to take risks. God will lead the way. It's now or never. 

xx