I Shall Stop

Dear Zach,

Starting next month onward, I shall stop doing these things.

1. Spending time on social media app

Truth be told, I have been doing nothing productive but scrolling away on the screen of my phone in FB shorts video. Same goes to IG reels. I could spend over 30 minutes of my time watching every short clips consisting of jokes and laughter. Although 90% of my IG reels are in Spanish, somehow I have gotten used to listening and reading the language and am able to understand probably 70% of the context of the video. But it does not justify the amount of time being wasted on it. Also, the notion of body dysmorphia is slowly creeping into my mind. Those reels by the fitness influencers keep popping up, making me start to become self-conscious about my body as I am on my way to 90kg and I seem to become quite stocky these days. I probably would delete IG app and remain FB just to keep up what's the trend and news these days. 

2. Going to Gay Sauna

I have been hooked to going gay sauna. Just this week itself, I have gone to the gay sauna 3 times, in an excuse for missing out my weekly sauna session for the past 2 weeks due to illness. Recently, I have become bored with the gay sauna scene. I see the same guys every time I was there. The sauna I usually go to is full of bottoms. The bottoms always assume I was a top - they tend to grind on me and give me a sloppy blow job. But I always make use of the facilities provided to fullest just to get my money worth. 

3. Staying away from Grindr

I have sex every 2 days recently. Either with my regulars or with some new random guys from grindr. I have been on grindr for every hour just to get sex date at my place at night. I can't keep doing this anymore. I blame on the process of bulking my physique to 90kg - the side effect of bulking is making me horny 24/7. Also, I am tired trying to discover another new mens' dos and don'ts in bed. Probably for now, I'll stick to jerking off or booty call my regulars if they are free.

4. Procrastination

I need to jot down on to-do list to keep my productivity in check. I need to find a source of income. I need a gig. Or a job to garner income. I have been thinking of venturing into writing. But first, I need to read a lot in which I procrastinate to do so. To be a better writer, you have to read. But books are expensive in Malaysia. I need to find a way sourcing for 2nd hand books. More on this topic in later post.