Friday, October 20, 2017

Paranoia

Dear Zach,

I'm still debating to blog about this. 

Even though I was tested clean last Saturday. But, on Sunday, I had sex with this Malay daddy for the second time. It was great sex. He fucked so hard for the last few minutes before he cum. But the only thing that irked me was that I wasn't sure if the condom slipped off when he cum or it slipped off when he pull out that time. I was extremely paranoid. I even checked the condom while he was showering. It didn't have any white remnants. He said he came last night so probably not much cum in the condom. Which I resort to the notion of cumming inside of me. I did try to shit it out afterward, nothing came out. 

On the way back home, I asked if he's clean, last sex with, safe sex and last checkup. His last checkup was July 2017. Not sure if I am afraid. On Tuesday, my throat is itching. Then I have a mild fever. My paranoia began. I texted him again if he's telling the truth. He got fed up with me. Saying I shouldn't be having sex at all.

"If I were to be infected, probably God punished me for my undoing. Hopefully I won't spread it to others too." I can't blame him for having a go at me. But I was too scare. He said he did not have any rashes or fever or any sort of symptoms. No. None. 

I frantically checked online if the symptoms show in 3 or 4 days after contracting. It's not very likely.  

Probably I was happened to be under the weather these few days? 

Please God. 

Please tell me it's just under the weather. 

2 comments

  1. Maybe you are just paranoid. The same thing happened with my friend when he thought too much and said he felt pain when he peed and whatnot. But after few days, the feeling just stopped

    And if you are worrying bout HIV, it's definitely not after few days. The virus can't affect your body that fast. It gonna take more than 2 weeks at least

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what I thought about. He got pissed off at me because i was being way too over.

      Because I have mild fever for few days. Probably could be the side effect of the Antibiotic I'm taking for Chlamydia it's called Deoxycycline. I did thorough research for this drug but fever only comes when it's too serious. Though for my case I'm just having mild.

      Also, the thought of having HIV is very unlikely since my report shown on Saturday was all clean.

      I'm just too afraid I guess.

      Delete

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Maira Gall