Dear Zach,
" ..... I love you ...." I listened to the voice note that I sent to him few hours ago. I said it. Over a voicenote. Confessing my love to him. I did it. I never did such thing.
I wasn't sure why I did it. It just occurred to me when I unwillingly scroll through his Instagram. I left 10 voicenote on whatsapp to him.
I told him he's the only guy I'ever fallen in love with. The first guy I love.
"I'm sorry if I said this now. I do love you a lot. I love you. If you have found someone else, I don't mind. But I just wanted to let you know how I feel about you for the past 2 years. I love you, Adam."
it’s funny, that despite you claiming yourself to be a “hoe”, you still believe in a beautiful thing called love, and you remind me of my guy who kept calling himself a “slut” in the beginning of our relationship, because he had his fair share of naughty times in the past, and never truly believed in love till eventually as days passed, he stopped mocking himself, started to believe that he’s worthy of true love, believe in the love i have for him, and realised that the past is past, and that when someone loves them truly, their past won’t matter anymore...
ReplyDeletei noticed in your previous posts that you have this assumption that all gay guys are the same doucebags, but you need to lift that veil which is blocking you from believing in love more, and know that there are gay guys out there who believe in unconditional love that gives freedom to the soul, probably they might not be in your rainbow circle, but i have plenty in mine, and some don’t even use apps, as they believe in traditional dates, and i know plenty of gay couples who had been together for more than ten years, with their love for each other growing stronger as days pass by, so believe in love, besides you’re still young, you have a long way to go in life, and the possibilities are high for you to find your soul mate, so keep believing...
by the way, i am sure you would remember that i have left some angry comments on your past posts, i do apologise for that, tho i must admit some of your posts do tend to annoy the good tops, but it’s your right to let out your frustration, besides you’re a human yourself...
so be strong, no matter what happens, always believe in love, and remember that you’re worthy of true love :)
i'm not sure why I have the sudden courage to love again. Probably spontaneous. I didn't expect him to reciprocate. At least I told him how i feel. It's fair for us. Even if he's no longer interested in me anymore, I would be really upset, though it is not gonna be long because I let the chance slip by long ago. Unrequited love is tough. At least I tried.
DeleteThanks for your advice.