Before It Goes

Dear Zach,

I left blogging for 6 years. I came back to this safe heart-pouring space again after I absentmindedly clicked on my page in one afternoon back in March, and read through some of the archives, it reminded me that I should have not stopped blogging in the first place. I shouldn't have neglected this safe space of mine just because life is hard. I should have keep writing and sharing my life in words in which I do best. I am glad I did not delete this page in which I have the intention to do so. The reason I came back writing on this blog is because I have got no one else to talk to. Also, I want to keep this page alive and going til the day I die. This is the only page that last longer than all the jobs I had for the past 10 years in combined. I tried to check on other fellow bloggers if their page were still active. Suffice to say that, most of them stopped posting around the same time I left this space. I wonder if I held such influence to them in leaving their blog all together. I sincerely hope they are doing well. Gladly, there are less than a few bloggers still exist and writing. 

The year of 2025 was never easy for me and my family. The moment when I heard the news of my mum's cancer relapse in September 2024, I knew, a premonition, that my mum would not be able to live long enough to see my success in career. Around that time, my art gigs as an artist were running thin, since I was needed to be the pillar of support for the tough time my family would have to go through, I decided to give up and turned my attention to spending the remaining days with my mum. Each month went by in somber, she took her final breath and passed away in July.

The months preceding her death, I was definitely sad. The only distraction away from all the sad stuffs going on was headed to the gym in the morning. Somehow, I did not stray away from my fitness goal set in the beginning of the year. I was very discipline with my workout routine and diet. Over 10 months, my goal came to fruition in gaining 20kg of mass from 70kg. The regular gym goers were impressed by my labor of hardwork. Those who went missing for a few months in the gym and came back were shocked at the drastic increased of my body size. Their gaze of admiration further ascertaining my belief in working hard consistently if you set your mind to it.  

On the contrary, my sex life was pretty mundane, so to speak. I cut contact with my favorite regular sex buddy of mine. He is the only one who can still fuck me the best. He has a big black dick that is absolutely compatible with my ass. Suffice to say that we drifted apart and that is the end of us. I've had sex with other men from grindr and gay saunas and I've got great souvenirs (as in loads of cum in my ass). Somehow, they are not as great as him.

I am still at lost in my career prospect. At this point of life, I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I want to focus on my health and fitness, and probably venture back into it again in future.

2026. I just want to do what I love to do. Just go with your guts feeling. I hope I will be able to share more parts of my life here as long as I am still breathing. Those who blog, we are the rare existence. Let's keep blogging as tradition that will never die.