I still get jealous

Dear Zach,

I am extremely jealous. I feel like my hand is shaking with huge load of emotion with mixture of anger and disappointment. I know I have no right to be jealous over something I should not be jealous at the first place. 

I refuse to kiss and tell. Somehow I can't help it to share my sexual escapades to my regular sex buddy. I am not sure what has gotten over me. 

One day, my fav regular sex buddy texted me since he was off that day. 

When I told him I was gonna fuck him again. 

"Again?" He replied.

"You afraid?" 

"Ya a bit. But its okay. I am here for you." 

"But you have to moan softer this time because my parents are sleeping next door. hehe." I replied.

After an hour, I looked into my phone and he said: "Go slow and easy should be fine. I met a guy last week he fucked me so hard til I bled. No one has ever fucked me til bled before that's why I scare."

I was so angry. Jealous. And extra jealous. I can't help it. 

I replied monotonously. He asked if I was sad or jealous. 

Thing was going well and we planned to meet up that night. Even if he came over, I wouldn't have the mood to fuck him anymore. 

I told him I was a bit tired and don't come too late. Seemingly he seemed unconcern about it, he said: "hmmm we can meet someday next time if you want."

Without further ado, I hit back "okay." 

I really hate putting so much emotion into sex. Knowingly it wouldn't bring much good to us. 

I was waiting for him last week but he found others instead. I am so disappointed as I shouldn't be.