Need A Breather

Dear Zach,

It had been a sexful month for me. Apart from being productive at work and gym, my sex life was as good as it can be. It's like an addiction to it. It's very exhausting and yet I am happy with it. I think I need to cool down from having too much of sex. I am not complaining. A month without sex would be good. I could distract myself from thinking about it. I wouldn't say that it's a rehab. At least it gives me some time to think about if I should be serious about getting a partner or continue hooking up. Yeah .. a month would do. I've survived two months without sex last year. A month wouldn't be a big deal for me.  

x

This Is Fucking

Dear Zach, 

This week was all about sex. I met this Aussie white guy from gay apps on Sunday. He was staying in a hotel just only 2 km away from my place. I was a bit insecure about meeting him. But I decided to give it a try. We met in his room. He was in his late-40s, tall, and physically look good at his age. We gave us a moment for small-talk. The next thing before I knew it, his tongue was all over me. Next thing I knew, he was on me. His cock was pleasurably huge to ride on. And I can feel his whole huge thing sliding in and out, had me moaning like hell. We agreed to meet again some day of the week before he left to his new apartment in town. So we agreed on Friday. On Wednesday night, right after gym, I was hunting for food in the mall. I bumped into him unexpectedly. We sat down and had a drink before I sent him back to his hotel room. When we arrived to his hotel, I suggested a quickie. He was so up for it. We fucked hard. And it was a quick one. On Friday, I met him right after gym. We cuddled in bed and talked. It was nice. Then we proceed to long foreplay. He was in his dominant mode. He tied my wrists up on the bed frame. I was spread wide across the bed. It was hot and erotic. And very BDSM-ish. We fucked. We made love. And we fucked again. In the end, he put a condom on me and asked me to penetrate him. I did. And he loved it. We came so hard on each other. After we cleaned ourselves up, we gave each other a long hug and kiss goodbye. We promised to meet again some time. There goes my week. 

xx

This Is Acting

Dear Zach,

Ever since I started working for a new company, I became a whole new different person. A person who only talks when time necessary. Or else I would just keep my mouth shut and do my own work at my own table. Ask question when only necessary. Most of the time my mouth is either shut or answering phone calls for work. I avoid talking too much to my colleagues for few reasons: 1) I don't feel like talking to them. As if talking to them in any way would reveal my true colors. 2) I don't want them to know about my personal details. The only detailed I once told was my educational and working background. And that's enough to cover all. 3) I just don't want to talk during working hours, which also leads back to reason 1. I pretend to be cool and highly capable to prove them that I was here to work, and serious about money. I turned down their offer to dinner for few times, partly because I don't really want to hang out with them, mainly because I don't want to skip the gym. I might act like a snob here. But I couldn't be bothered by that. As I said, I am here to work. And I am happy the way it is. I must be out of my mind.   

Thanks For Leaving

Dear Zach,

I always believe that leaving is not a good thing. It's a bad sign showing bad thing will happen. Detach, move apart, shift away, move away, pass away and many ways to show that leaving is not a good thing. I have this general feeling that leaving is sad. I always have. Especially my brother left to Singapore for work, I feel sad because one less family member is moving away from home. I didn't feel sad when one of my colleagues has left the job, that doesn't make any sense in account of what I mentioned just now, simply because he should have just left the company long ago due to its incompetency towards the job scope. Or simply put it that he's just plain dumb for not being able to do the simplest task. I do feel sad about people leaving me. That the fact I wasn't somebody that I used to be. They wanted me for sex because I was some cool guy at work. People are realistic. I don't blame them. I don't need people like them. I had good time with them. But good time has always come to the end. I feel sad when some friendships are fading away, in some sense it considered as leaving. We did not leave each other, it is the time that leave us growing apart, becoming strangers again. It's kinda sad to have looked through the conversation dated back few months ago and feeling nostalgic about the time we have. Friends that I used to hang out with have been reduced vast amount, and my phone has gone extra quiet these days - even receiving a simple text from a stranger would have made my day brighter. I always look at the screen of my phone secretly hoping that my crush would send me a text; only to have gotten some junk mails from Planetromeo.com . At least these junk mails were sent to care about my relationship status. I am grateful for them. I am also sad to get to know that one of my crushes is transferred back to his home country. Not that I am close with him, but we did like each other physically and have dinner once together when I was working with Fitness First. It occurs to me that when you decided to change your life, everything somehow will change. It's inevitable, but it's adaptable. Be it good or bad, it's just the way it is. Somehow you would have to let go of the past, and live in present. 

xx 

ICry

Dear Zach,

I woke up to the wave of responsibility descending on me. Because I did some math about my daily expenses the day before and realized that I need to take charge of the way I spend. I am no longer a teenager anymore. I am a fully-responsible adult who should take care of his family and himself, in which it had me zero into the matter of my daily expenses in correspondence to that of my hard-earned wages. After spending some time in subtracting, pathetically subtract is the only mathematical operation that can only be used in this especially when you are counting your money, I cried literally. 

Off Loading - Part 2

Dear Zach,

I was dead tired today. But I didn't skip the gym. I went for heavy workout today - I hit it hard. While I was working out, there was this lean fit malay guy (again, but a different one) keep stealing glances over me on the mirror facing both of us, as he was right behind me at the smith machine while I was at the bench in front of him. I saw him before. He has been checking out on me for quite sometime and I him too. I didn't expect to get any action today. When I was done, I went to the shower room. He saw me walking into one of the shower cubicle, he stopped in front of it and looked through the gap of shower curtain, then he raised his hand and moved away the shower curtain and told me to wait for him. I didn't expect that. Within a minute, he has his towel hanging around his waist and quickly slipped into my shower cubicle. I was about to reject because I was tired. But when I saw his surprisingly lean-toned body had me swallow my words. He doesn't look that toned with his shirt on. Slowly, we both proceed to kisses, followed by intense made out, and furious cock-sucking session. He was such a good kisser. We both made out for quite a long time under the shower. Our tongues were fighting for dominance, trying to swallow each other's mouth. And he's very well-endowed. The previous encounter I met, he too has such a great cock. What's with Malay guys? Are they always well-endowed? Maybe I was just plain lucky. After we shot our loads on each other's dick, I kissed him goodbye and quickly slipped out. When I was done dressing up, I wanted to thank him for such a good time. But he hasn't finished his shower. So I just left. 

xx

A Cycle

Dear Zach, 

New year started off fine. It's been 10 days from the new start, I was full-fledged working hard for five days in the office and gym. It's been pleasantly long week but it ended perfectly fine. Everyday I woke up, I was kind of looking forward to the dos in the office. It's not unusual for me, but it's pretty refreshing to the surprising fact that it gives me something to look forward to. I don't have the dreadful feeling of going to work - it's a good sign. I wouldn't say that I love my job now - at least it helps to settle myself down with a decent job, something to preoccupy with, that I don't have to think about what my future holds. I don't want to think about it. The more I think about it, the more I concern. And every time right after my work, I would be looking forward to the gym. Or maybe looking forward some unexpected hookup again in the shower room gym - but it wouldn't be the latter. It's basically a cycle for the week. I refuse to hang out because I refuse to show my state of being. Not that I look like shit. It's just that I feel lethargic to go out. My week is just another boring week. 

xx

Start Anew

Dear Zach,

New year means new start. It means let bygones be bygones, which means I will let go the past, especially the people who don't mean anything to me but just sex, and move on for the better choice. That's not the case, because I prioritize my career more than anything else. I'm very fortunate to have a good start of the year with a 9-to-5 job, and it's just 5 minutes distance away from my home, 10 minutes away from my working place to the gym. Everything fits perfectly the way I wanted. I couldn't ask for more than it already does. I am starting to like my job - though it isn't as much fun as the previous one. But I am very grateful for what I am in now. Since it's new year, I've decided to stop playing Facebook for some time, because it's kinda waste of time. So I won't be replying any message or friend request if it deems necessary. And I won't be posting much on Instagram either. So for those who has been following me on Instagram, you won't be seeing much of me photo there. All of my focus now is on sculpting my body and advancing my career. Cheers to the freaking new year! 

xx