On the 6th day after my mum's passing, in the Chinese tradition, we family members are required to prepare prayer to "welcome" the returning of the spirit at home at midnight. In short, this prayer is to welcome the deceased spirit to visit us for the final time.
Since my brother was headed back to Singapore, only left me and my dad prepared all the food stuffs and prayers item for the night to come. We got everything ready on the dining table where my mum used to sit for dinner. We made sure everything was aligned correctly, nice and neat, as what my mum would have preferred. By 9.30pm, my dad lit up the long and thick joystick and insert in a flower vase, and put it on top of a stool, and placed them next to our main door. The purpose of the lit joystick is to create a faint light path in the dark, so that the spirit can "see" where it headed.
The opening period for the spirits to "visit" was between 10 pm to 2 am. By 10 pm, we were told to go inside our room, light out and sleep. This is to avoid "clashing" with the spirits - to avoid seeing the real ghost so to speak.
I was in my deep sleep state. But here comes the strangest thing happened.
Out of the blue, my room was getting stuffy and warm, even though the air-conditoner was working as usual. I felt my light goosebump, somewhat feeling there was a presence standing next to my bed. I was fully awaken by it but I kept my closed tightly. The "presence" muttered something on me, the next thing I knew, my whole body went numb, followed by a cold perspiration. I knew what it was but I refused to move an inch.
I was too stunned to move. I started chanting in my heart to keep myself calm. I told myself the spirits meant no harm to anyone. And one of them could have been my mum. According to the Chinese tradition, when the deceased spirit returned, it is always accompanied by two "bodyguard" spirits. Hence, the strong presence could have been them. Not long later, I, again, went into numb-cold perspiration shock. This continuedly went on 4 times in the space of, I don't know, maybe every 20 minutes? I did not check the time when it happened. Even though I sleep with ear bud, I could hear the sound of cup clinking and opening lid of the kettle pot outside of my room. My dad slept dead after he took his sleeping med, so there was no way he would have came out of his room and sip water.
I was not sure what time it was, but for the finale, I felt the presence came back, the chair next to my bed was moved slightly, I was too frightened to move. Here it comes, I thought. Somehow, the presence gave me a sense of calm and comfort, it did not cause me any shock as I was ready for it.
I knew then it was my mother. Because she always clumsily knock away the chair when she open my wardrobe to put my clothes. I knew she was beside me, probably looking down on me for one last time. I can feel her; I can feel her reluctance to leave; It lasted probably a few minutes. Not long after, my sweating back starting to feel cool, the temperature of the room began to fall, the whole atmosphere slowly back to normal. That was when I knew it was the moment when she bid farewell to me.
No comments
Post a Comment