Dear Zach,
My mum was admitted to hospital again on Tuesday night. Her serious case of amnesia has gotten us worried, and the hospice nurse advised us to bring her to the ER. By 11pm, we knew it gonna take long hours in order to get my mum admitted to the wad when you were dealing with government hospital, we left her under the care of the nurses and doctors and went home ourselves.
We went and visited her every afternoon lunch hour. She was in great care. She still did not eat. Her emotions were high and low, rendering us feeling agitated when talking to her. She was still in confusion - talking something that didn't even exist. I can feel my dad feeling sad and stress for her. I decided to end the visit quickly and got us out from there.
For the past few days, our home was in peace. I can feel the tension dissipated. My dad did what he enjoys to do - mending her backyard garden. He seemed relaxed and enjoyed the tranquility knowing my mum was in the hospital taken care of. It felt as if this was going to be the life if my mum passed. I felt guilty that I was relief when my mum was not bed-ridden at home, hoping she would just stay at the hospital til she passes, rather than coming back home having endless pains and complains.
Today, we went to visit her. The doctor said she will likely be discharged tomorrow. We are glad but deep down inside we wish she stay there instead.
Am I a bad son?
No you are not.
ReplyDeleteLong-term care of sick family members is difficult and stressful. It sounds like you and your father are doing with with no help. You are getting a brief respite from providing all this care and you are feeling some relief -- nothing to feel bad about.
Thank you for your reassurance, Rob! :')
DeleteRob's right. Long term care is highly stressful. There will be good and bad days, it's important that you and your dad are there for her & for each other. I hope the good days outweigh the bad days. You are not a bad son. Know that your also not alone lots of people have gone through this & it's not easy or fun. Take care and thanks for sharing the update.
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