Dear Zach,
For the past few weeks, it has been tough for me and my family. My dad and I had a multiple huge arguments over something trivial. There were days my mum was in immense pain even after taking a medium dose of morphine. It was hard see how my 70-year-old dad taking care of my mum, feeding her, bath her, and supporting her walking to bed. Most of the time, my mum was asleep due the induced drowsiness from the drugs. While my dad taking care of my mum, I took charge in settling daily house chores and running in and out buying depository items. Day by day, seeing my mum's health progressively declining, I can't help but to think how the days will be when she's gone. There were times I lay on my bed in the afternoon, shedding tears from the corner of my eyes, thinking how she will leave us anytime.
My daily routine now consist of going to gym in the morning, and cooked my own lunch and dinner, and spent the rest of the day at home doing nothing. I do not work. I cannot work at this moment. Hence, I kept my daily expenditure to the minimal as possible. Sometimes, I would meet my regular for sex at the cheap motel we usually go to. I would go to gay sauna on the weekly basis just to relax and free my mind since I spent a lot of time in the gym working out hard. No. I do not have sex in there as tempting as it was. There were times I just had oral sex and foreplay. That's that.
It is going to be mid of the year very soon. It is unbelievable that the year went on too fast.
It's very sad that you mum is seriously ill. I hope you can improve the relationship with your father as you both need each other during the difficult time. Most importantly, your mum needs BOTH of you.
ReplyDeleteYou are in KL, right?
thank you.
DeleteYes, I am in Kuala Lumpur.
I've been to KL twice! I stayed just north of Bukit Bintang. I'm not sure I felt it was very gay friendly, but seems to be ok for you.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry I did not return your email when you told me you coming to visit kl. I hoped you enjoyed your stay here!
DeleteWhile you are losing your mom, your dad is losing the love of his life. It hits differently and I only know that because I lost my husband 12 years ago. I have also lost my mom. Watching loved ones pass away is agonizing and it tends to take a toll on everyone's emotions. My grandmother passed from Cancer and all we did as a family was argue and fight with each other and yes it was over trivial items. I know both what you and your dad are going through and my thoughts are with you both.
ReplyDeletethank you, Jeremy! Indeed, taking care a cancer-stricken patient is harder than we thought although I am in a decent shape. Right now, I am trying my utmost best to be as saintly patient as possibly could with my dad.
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