Dear Zach,
Anger management course should be mandatory for men who are undergoing mid-life crisis. Or probably for people like me. These days I really can't control my anger. I snapped easily - especially when there was a slight inconvenience.
I get frustrated so easily there were days I snapped at my dad for repeating 3 times and yet he couldn't hear what I said. He somehow he knew my simmering anger beneath me, he would just pretend he heard but, in actual fact, he couldn't. He is 70 with bad hearing problem. I felt guilty too.
Just like how I snapped at this fat indian technician from the insurance company who got on my last nerve trying to assist me changing my punctured tyre somehow he DID NOT bring any instruments to refill the air of the spare tyre, and still have the decency to say, "I am here just to change the tyre. We don't do air-refill etc", and yet I waited him for 2 hours for his arrival to my home just to fucking change the flatten tyre to another spare flatten tyre. Thanks for nothing, fat ass.
I get angry so easily. I feel hostile all the time. Like I am trying to fight whoever comes to my way or in my way. Why am I like this? Is it because I have been spending all my time alone at home, avoiding people not socializing, not working, removing toxic friends, keeping my circle to none, doing my own thing that make me feel contented?
Do I have mental issue?
I think it's probably due to the circumstances your dealing with your Mom's health. You might benefit from therapy just to have someone to talk to on a regular basis, that may help. I don't know if your doing this but you can't bottle up your anger and hang on to it, you have to let it out or find a release - otherwise some poor person like your dad or the auto tech will get the brunt of it. Take some deep breaths it's all going to be okay and things will work out, maybe not the way you want them to. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteIf I can speak freely, my impression is not a mental issue (however anger management might require the help of counseling). You are now early 30's, living with your parents (maybe this is common in Asia but certainly not in my country), and you have no plan. You are still relatively young and smart. You can still decide what you want to do and make it happen. You put dedication into other things you wanted to do, like fitness, how about a career? Or a business? Something that will give you purpose. Do you have a passion for anything? Think about this.
ReplyDelete