I Worked as Sex Worker and Onlyfans Amateur Gay Porn Star, and I Do Not Regret It.

Dear Zach,

It all started when I started to work as freelancer in 2018. It was hard -- trying to find odd jobs everywhere to pay off my bills and car loan. So I started to provide massage service by advertising online. Back in the days, the only website where you could search for local gay activity such gay massage parlor, gay sauna, and other exciting sexecapades was a gay forum managed by a Singaporean company known as blowingwind. I advertised there. Slowly, I got requests every other day for massage service. When it comes to massage services for gay men, it never will be only massage. The massage is like a 1 hour foreplay, the main course is the sex. After the few attempts to reject myself from subjecting to sex, I realized if I don't do it, I will be doomed. So, I kept myself open-minded and have sex for pay.

I was picking up momentum in my services. I got clients from the locals and overseas, I ran into the fancy hotels in downtown, sucking dicks of different ethnicities and sizes and shapes, and got penetrated almost every other day by mostly unattractive, middle-aged, married, fat guys. I always play safe with condoms - which most of the customers do. Since I am a pure bottom, getting fucked was an relatively easy task. I was good in pretending feeling good. To be able to fake moaning, it was a skill. It was to tell the customers they are doing right and giving them the right to feel good. But some of them they fucked me real good I actually enjoyed it. Not sure what was it with these married man, they are extremely horny.

Towards the end of 2018, that time I was active in twitter, and my services is slow down so I have to think of way to make money, and so I tried to upload a sex video of myself in twitter. The next day, my video was exploded with thousand of likes and hundreds of retweets. I was shocked that it got popular. I was happy and worried at the same time. My followers shot up from hundreds to 2k in just 24 hours. I couldn't believe it. The next few days, I uploaded another clip of me sucking a dick. It got popular as well. And I received plenty of messages about where they can watch my contents. As my followers was climbing exponentially high, I decided to open an onlyfans creator account to monetize my contents. It was a risky move. At that time, onlyfans was relatively fresh and unknown in my country. So it wasn't illegal so to speak.

Just like any other online content creator, you need to consistently upload fresh new content to engage your audience. So I made with video content with some fellow followers who were into it, and some customers of mine were okay getting recorded in sex but no face being shown. It was all amateur, nothing professional, nothing fancy. Just men 2 men enjoying sex. Each month, I dropped at least 2 new video contents in my OF page. As I saw the money coming in, I knew I was doing the right thing at the moment. My twitter page at that time had a whooping 20k followers and still climbing. I almost thought I was a gay porn star for real. Every day, I got messages for massage services and sex video collab, in which I was more than willing to comply to get my OF page going. Massage services and onlyfans were my 2 major sources of income in 2019. 

With the money I garnered every month, I managed to save a large chuck of money in my saving account. I managed to paid off my car loan once and for all. Technically, I was debt-free and financially independent.

As 2020 loomed in, with Covid and lockdown, all things went to hell. But not for me. I managed to survive lockdowns for 2 years with the saving I had. And every month I was still able to cash in from my OF account, still able to upload contents I made from a year before as new contents. I have made so much video contents with too many guys. To be honest, I am not a big spender. With the money I have then, I could have bought something fancy. But I did not. I save for emergency use and years to come. I live a very mundane life just like regular people even though I was a self-proclaimed porn star.

One day, I received an email from OF saying my videos have violated their rules and regulations, telling me to remove them or to obtain consent right from the party who involved in my videos. As OF was gaining their reputation, their rules and regulations have also been constantly updated to protect against lawsuit. Some of my videos were hidden. I was not able to upload my content anymore since they have set such regulation for all the creators especially the home-made videos. As the years went by, I let my OF page slowly to die. Even my twitter page was not updated frequently as before. I got concerned messages from fans asking if I was alright. In the end of 2022, I decided to close my twitter account. But I did not close my OF account. But I believe it has been deactivated by now.

Thankfully, I moved out from the local gay porn scene before it got overhyped by the local gays who did the same thing as me. It was dangerous as OF was getting its recognition on the news media in the recent years, and some of them taken the advantage of do porn and upload online for monetization. However, it was all too late by then. As it becoming more and more exposed, the authorities have taken action against a few Malay porn-star wannabe for uploading explicit content online. Some was arrested and charged. I was fortunate enough to jump out of the wagon because I knew it wasn't legal.

So that's what happened over the past 6 years going MIA. And I do not regret doing them. I believed God must have his reason to lead me to this path of life. Whatever it is, I am grateful that it happened.

I am writing this down so that I will never forget.