Dad's Tears

Dear Zach,

The first time I saw my dad having tear-jerking moment was 15 years ago when he had a low-back surgery. The surgery was a success but it costed our family a whole emotional ride. The surgery had changed my dad emotionally - he sometimes would cry out of the blue. We were shocked because this was the very first time seeing him cried. In those weeks, I always heard argument broke out between my mum and dad. Then my dad would start crying. Sobbing like a kid. Some days, he would just walked around the house, my mum would tell him to stop walking around the house, then my dad would start crying saying he was just worried. As time passed, he consulted a psy doctor and was diagnosed with post-surgery depression - treated with medication and weeks later he slowly regained his composure back to him old self.

The second time was 2 days ago. My dad held my mum's arm, comforting her as she was beginning to become unconscious, laying on bed, he broke down in tears caressing her face and forehead, telling her "we will be alright." My mum could no longer speak and swallow; Her eyes were lifeless even though they were open; Her breath was heavy and hard as her lungs were failing. Her condition has deteriorated in the last 2 days.

I tried talking to her about my day, gossips, and my failed attempts in making soup. The more I talked to her, the more I realized I will miss conversing with her after she gone. I will miss her; I miss everything about her. I could not help it but to break down in tears in between, telling her I will take care of dad and her beloved ferns in which she has grown them for over 30 years. Seeing her being unresponsive made me sobbed even harder.