Cruising in Dead Hill : Exploration

Dear Zach,

Ever since all the gay meeting apps have been banned in Malaysia, the only way for all the gay people to meet up (for sexual fun), apart from going to gay sauna, is through cruising in the public spaces such as toilet mall, recreational parks, and swimming pool shower room. We are like going back to olden days where cruising in public area is our primary source of seeking prospects.

I have been toying the idea in cruising but these days there are always news about 2 men getting caught having indecent, or immoral, action in public area. I am torn between "fuck it, let's do it" and "let's scale down and think about it".

I have been a member of a gay local forum for quite some time now. There are a lot of topics about cruising for gay people in our local areas, especially at the downtown in one of the few popular malls. Also, some of the notorious swimming pool where actions in the shower room are guaranteed. And then here comes the recreational parks.

I stumbled upon a member commenting about this abandoned recreational forest park in the mid downtown, where it is located probably 20 minutes away from my home. I did not know this place existed although I have passed by the roadway multiple times for the past few months.

I called it Dead Hill because it is abandoned and I strictly want to protect its identity for security reason. Dead Hill was once a popular recreational park, as the year went on, the maintenance of the park slowly disimproved, eventually, the park was abandoned and "opened" for gay people to cruise inside. Now that I have read the archives of the park in the forum, it has become a popular spot for gay cruise since 10 years ago.

Interesting to know that many people in forum commented that the place is great to cruise because it is too dark to see. I have been daunting to go check it out but I was too chickened out to go at night.

Yesterday morning, since I was on the way to visit the temple, I decided to drop by that place and check it out.

I arrived at the parking spot around 10.30 am. There were only few cars parking along the street toward the entrance of the park. I got down and walked through the entrance of the park, where the tall trees hovering over the concrete walkway, and a grimed-covered resting hut along side into the park. A few meters walk inside, I was greeted with a green water lake in the center of the park, the pedestrian walkway is surrounding the lakeside, and I saw a few guys strictly brisk walking around the lake for none other than recreational purpose.

Since I was here, I explored every inch of the park for better navigation at night next time. The park is clearly abandoned with the signs of desolation and overgrown natural beauty, featuring cracked concrete paths, thick vines curl crawling over the grimmed-covered resting huts. As I climbed up to the hill, where the most cruisers loitering around, there were ruined concretes that highlighting its nostalgic traces of its once glory moment. As I climbed up the stairs to the top of the hill, I can see an oversight of the train and highways next to it. Since it was morning, there was no people cruising around here.

Somehow, at the corner of my eyes, I caught a glimpse of a shirtless chinese man loitering at the resting hut, far end of the center of the overlook, I took my sweet time walked over. He was already stripped down to his skimpy thong. An obvious prospect waiting for hunt. I went over and grabbed his crotch, he grabbed mine. Within minutes, he was down on his knee sucking my dick. I cum in his mouth rather quickly because I was afraid of getting caught in plain sight, also he sucked my dick so good like he hasn't sucked one in years. I thanked him and continued my exploration down the hill. Then, I saw another shirtless skinny tanned tattooed guy looking at his phone at the corner of the ruined concrete, another obvious cruiser awaiting. The chance was ruined when a hetero malay couple passed us by. Since it was getting hot anyway, I left the place after 30 minutes exploring.

But I came back in the evening again.

To be cont.... ...

         

1st Death Anniversary

Dear Mum,

Today is your first death anniversary. Not a day goes by that I do not think of you. Everyday whenever I come back from long day of delivery work, your smiling portrait in frame on the cabinet that placed next to the entrance always warmly welcomes me back.

There are days I think of you sitting in the dining table, hunching your back trying to loop the thread in the needle on the sewing machine, only to call for my help to do it for you because of your bad eyesight. I can't afford to give away the sewing machine because it reminds me a lot of us - of how we both trying to make the best use of it.

You loved cleaning the surface of the cabinet, shelves, and table because that was your motherly duty. Cleaning every corner just so we live comfortably. We still try our best to keep our house clean and tidy, just so that we do not want to fail you for not taking care the home you loved.

I am doing fine. Have a job. Eat and sleep well.

I'll visit you at the temple this Sunday.

Miss you. Always.

Love,

Your Son 

Right Place, Right Time, and Right Person.

Dear Zach,

I was the sluttiest and fan-favorite bottom amongst the group of migrant workers. When one of them has fucked me, he would passed my contact (or me) around to his other peers and tell them there is a white smooth bottom for their sexual pleasure. Of course, I would never turn them down unless some of them were really illiterate I gave up texting. Some of them were nice; Some of them were just plain rude. Somehow most of these migrants workers I've fucked with were just one or two time things. Whenever I received a simple text "hi" from a random number by the surname of "Khan", I knew my contact has fallen on some random pakistanis man. 

As my contact number were passed along in the sea of them, it fell on this Pakistanis young guy. He did text me a few times, but I ignored it completely at that time because I was mentally exhausted dealing with them. Towards the end of 2024, he texted me again to try his luck I guess. So I decided to play along with him. He sent an expire photo of himself - he is good-looking. We decided to meet up at his place where he lives in a rented room of the most run-down apartment across the street which was only 5 minutes away from my home. 

Krim is very good-looking in person, slightly taller than me, lean average physique, and packing with 6.5 inches smooth dick. He is the perfect package for my sexually desired migrant worker. But he comes with a few restrictions: He doesn't do anything orally on me. He only wants me to do it on him, in which I am perfectly obliged to do so. His hard and firm and hint of sweat scented cock in my mouth drove me crazy. But when it came to the deed, he failed badly. He cum fairly quick. Not to mention that he was inexperienced in sex. In my mind, I have crossed him off my list.

Few days after our first sex, he texted me telling me he missed me and wanting to meet again. I was reluctant. But I was horny. So I met him again. This time, I guided him slowly. He followed my lead. Entering inside of me with slower and much controlled pace. The sex lasted slightly longer than the last time. He felt happy about it.

Since then, we met every week at lunch time when he was on his lunch break and returned home from work to have sex with me.

I queried him if he has ever fucked a man. He told me that he did with a guy before me. Met him from tiktok. A local chinese guy. From there leading to physical meet up and sex. It lasted a few months before he left the country for work, till he met me. I was his 2nd. 

In every session, he has gotten from being touch aversion to more intimate in caressing my body and, his personal favorite, my white smooth ass. Although he doesn't like to do thing with his mouth, I love giving him kisses on his chest, neck, and shoulder, whenever we hug each other upon meet up or after sex as a sign of affection. I guess he doesn't mind me doing that to him since he told me he really like me and me doing that to him.  

Somehow he has the habit of disappearing for a few months without text messages and come back as if nothing has happened. I was upset but I didn't query further. Every few months he disappears and comes back, he is surprised by my physique - from lean to bulk. Of course, my juicy ass is what he loves the most. He can't stop touching my ass and telling me "your ass is big I love it".

His act of disappearing is quite frequent to the point I got really upset and cut contact with him completely. Blocked him even for a few months. Only to have him unblocked later. He texted me again the beginning of this year. Consistently every week for meet up. But I ignored every text of his. This lasted for 4 months. His persistent efforts of not giving up on me is what got me caved in eventually.

When we finally met up, he was upset and asking why I ignored him. I didn't say a word but kneel down in front of him, pulled his pants down, and gulped his already rock-hard cock in my mouth. I was relief that he was still excited to see me as ever. The sex at that time somehow felt different from the previous encounters we've had. It felt intimate, loving, and yearning. He started to hold my hands as he was inside of me. His face inches apart from my shoulders. I can tell he was completely at ease at what he does.

His act of disappearing got my curiosity, I confronted him about it. He said that despite he works nearby where we stay, often he would be relocated to some remote place for work for a few months. This is why he went missing.

"I really like you. And I really miss you. I want to see you. Why would I block you?" He said.

Since then, I have no reason to give him the benefits of doubts. I believe what he said. I mean, if he doesn't like me, he would have given up on me long time ago.

I don't love him. But I do like Krim a lot. He is the only pakistanis guy who appreciates having good time and doesn't take me for granted.

He can host. We both stay very close to each other, and always available at the right timing. I love big cock and he loves my toned ass. Although the sex doesn't last long, at least a quickie sex before work is what we both needed in the times like this.

We have the right place, are at the right time, and are right person for each other.

What more could I ask for? 

Decision Made

Dear Zach,

In my previous post, I've mentioned about the notion of partaking Spanish course and listed out a series of doubts. I am very grateful that some of you are very encouraging for me to go for it if I am genuinely interested in it.

Having said that, I have also consulted Gemini (Google's version of chatgpt) and vented my concerns and doubts.

Here's what Gemini told me:

When you are feeling stuck, your instinct is to add something new to your resume to stand out. It's a proactive thought, but we need to look at how the Malaysian job market actually treats languages. If you are learning Spanish strictly to solve a financial strain and get a job in KL, the math does not add up.

In Kuala Lumpur, the high-paying language allowances are almost exclusively for corporate roles requiring Mandarin, Japanese, Korean, or Vietnamese because our economic trade is deeply tied to Asia Pacific. While there are a few corporate Spanish roles in KL servicing the Latin American markets, they are rare, and companies often hire native expats or native-level speakers who lived abroad.

Takes 2+ years, costs RM 1,150+ upfront per level, and has almost zero market demand from employers in Kuala Lumpur.

You have to be completely fluent—usually at a B2 or C1 level on the CEFR scale.

• To get to that level from zero, it takes roughly 600 to 800 hours of intense study.

• If you do it via a 30-hour classroom term every few months, it will take you years to get to a employable level. You need a financial solution much faster than that.

Therefore, I have decided not to go for it. My initial thought of taking Spanish course was just to slightly brush up my resume and skill. Somehow an AI clarifies my doubts, knowing that Spanish class is just a luxury hobby if you have the disposable money.

  

To enroll or not to enroll

Dear Zach,

I have been self-learning Spanish over the past 2 years and, so far, I've managed to understand the context of the conversation in the netflix shows I watched. But I am nowhere near being fluent in speaking the language because I have no one to speak with. I've always wanted to further improve learning the language itself. 

Chatgpt suggested me to take up a structured Spanish language course offered by the Spain Embassy in Malaysia. I've looked it up and it has several intake on every 3 months. Two weeks ago, I've inquired with them about the details and was told that the next intake for absolute beginner will be on mid of next month. The beginner Spanish course is segregated into 3 levels - from 1.1 to 1.3. The price for each level is RM950 for 10 weeks, the session will be conducted in face2face for 3 hours on Saturday.

Few days ago, I got an update about the opening registration for the new intake. Unfortunately, the timing for the class is not in my favor. I asked if I could jump into 1.2 level instead as I told them I have been self-learning for a year and the timing for that particular level is right for me. They allow it as long as I still have the basics.

The dilemma: Do I really need it? Why do I need to spend such amount to learn the language when I can learn it myself with all the free resources on the internet? Will I get a good return if I invest in this course? Will I travel to Spain for work? Will I ever get a Spanish boyfriend? Will I ever travel to Spain? Is this language gonna open door for me? Is this language important for me?

Sex = Money

Dear Zach,

I came across a post on the gay forum where this user posted about having sex is expensive.

Gay apps now cost money,

 

OnlyFans cost money, 

 

PrEP, PEP, monekeypox and other vaccines cost money,

 

paid fun cost money, 

 

find a room cost money, 

 

go gay sauna cost money, 

 

travel cost money, 

 

every fucking shit cost money,

 

sex = money 

 

money = sex 

 

What he vented about is an absolute truth. Having sex is no longer a free thing anymore unlike back in the days when guys could just lay back and stick their dick into any kind of hole for pleasure. The only concern for the heteros was getting their female partner knocked up. Other than that, having sex is practically stress free and easy.

Fast forward today, having sex is equivalent to spending money. Buying condoms of different sizes and brand, type of lubricants used for smooth penetration, figuring out the places to host for sex, etc. All added up it become a cost to bare. Not to mention if you are a frequent raw sex player, taking PreP is mandatory in this case, and frequent STD testing that cost over RM300, just to make sure you are clean to proceed to having sex at your own mean.

Since when having sex has become a financial burden for everyone? It is no wonder why most of the lower class gay guys are succumbed to STD and HIV fairly easy when they don't have the financial mean to purchase the basic necessary protections for themselves.

There are many times I want to have sex, but the only place I could have sex is going to gay sauna. It means I have to pay RM30 for entry, and consume a few pills of PreP that cost RM10 to get protection for myself. If I were to go every weekend, it would sum up RM120 per month! 

Who to blame? Is having sex becoming a luxury or is it not a basic psychological need anymore?

.

.  

Oh by the way, grindr and other gay hook ups apps are officially removed from google play store.  

  

Open Shower Play

Dear Zach,

Last evening, I went to Chakran after a month of not having sex. I was extremely horny I literally jerked off every night in the shower before sleep. I wanted to get my monthly massage session fixed but my wallet is running tight. So I decided to go to Chakran instead.

I arrived at 7pm - not much of a crowd. It made sense because it was on the weekday. Ten minutes in the dry sauna, I was already making out and sucking cock of one indian guy. I proceed to the steambath room and let some hungry suckers savoring my cock. But the most happening times for me were at the open shower area, where I got to quick swallow a big-dick indian, and got raw fucked by this tall bald indian daddy top.

I walked out of the steambath room naked as I passed by this mature daddy. Then, he followed me to the open shower as I tried to cool myself down with the chilling water cascading from the shower. He stood next to my shower, gently placed his hand on my erogenous zones and reached over my left to grab the publicly shared shower gel. I playfully grab his thick cock as he reached over. He squirted a few drops of the shower gel, lathering on his stocky body as he got closer to my back, and slid his hands across my back to my chest, lathering his soapy hands from my chest to my orifice. Before I knew it, he was poking his dick against my orifice, knowing what was coming next. He was trying to find a hidden lube at the top of the rusty pipe, but the lube is not slippery enough to penetrate me, so I used a bit of the shower gel instead to lube his dick up, and he slid inside me smoothly.

There were a few indian guys walked in on us were surprised by the sight of us fucking openly. But it was dark but they could make out the silhouettes of one big indian guy humping a pale chinese bottom at the corner of the shower room. Some of them stood aimlessly under the shower just to watch us. He finished outside of my ass. He thanked me and took a shower and left. 

I continued cruising around in the steambath room to have a great foreplay before I left at 9pm. 

Surrender Value

Dear Zach,

Few days ago, I happened to have delivered a few orders in the area where the insurance company at, I dropped by at the place and requested an update of my surrender value of my life insurance policy in which my dad had bought for me since I turned 21.

As expected, the value is half of what I was insured. I haven't been paying for this policy because the interest has paid off itself. In other word, I have a sum of money sitting there collecting dust. I have been toying the idea about withdrawal, since I have no one else, other than my dad, to leave something behind with if I die. The sum of the money I have isn't a large one, rather it is an amount that I could live comfortably without working for at least 2.5 years. Since I am working with minimum wages, my savings are now safe without depleting. But there were some times I would still have to use my savings for some random purchases.

Since my day time delivery work is now stable, I am thinking to work at night for a few hours in some garments shop at the mall. At least the few hours of work could supplement my total income.

I hope there is easy way out to get some serious cash. I would have loved to continue making my own porns but I would have been in jail by now.