Victim or Volunteer?

Dear Zach,

Those who love watching gay porn, you must have known about Austin Wolf - the fan favorite gay porn star in the internet for his beefy physique and macho sex persona. Back in the days when I was on X, most of his sex clips kept resharing on my feeds by other users. There were plenty of his amateur (non studio produced) videos showing him getting blown in the gym sauna, fucking in the shower, or fucking in public toilet cubicle. Not gonna deny the fact that his presence oozing sex vibe to the surrounding, the gays would find it hard to resist hooking up with him knowing what he did for living.

Most of his encounters were youngster - skinny, smooth, twink. Only his studio-produced videos were with man of his size or slightly younger. But if you were to check out his home made videos, most of them were with boys barely 18. There were videos of him like force-shoving his dick down this teenage kid's throat in the garage, fucking him while the phone was put afar at the side recording the whole scene. 

Guess what? Most of these younglings enjoyed being bred by him as much as the man himself doing the deed on them. You can tell obviously they were more than willing to throw themselves to him rather than being the victim themselves. There was a video, I particularly remember because, where the twink bottom was literally sprawling offering his ass up and smiling with satisfaction while the man himself pounding raw behind him with cameras recording situated in four different angles, and one camera strapped on his forehead as first person view. "Mannn, this guy takes home-made video very seriously." I thought.

Last year, he was sentenced to jail for you-know-what. Interestingly, if these younglings agreed and willing to offer themselves to him, in this case, shouldn't the younglings should get jailed too?

Personally, I never find him remotely attractive. I am more interested as to why the same law doesn't apply to the youngsters who did the deed with him.

Believing can be deceiving

Dear Zach,

In related to previous post about the addiction of social media, most of the contents posted are intentional for seeking validation. Since my feeds are mostly gym and shirtless men, therefore I am fed with plenty of unnaturally muscular guys in their early 20s, proudly showing off their "hardwork", stripping down to their underwear, seeking fans, likes and thirsty comments.

I come across a video about the dark side of steroid usage amongst the teens and guy in their early twenties, they are largely influenced by the pressure of looking good (vascular/shredded/dreambody) on the internet. Not to mention that you can easily purchase a few vials of PED from the dealer or online. This happens a lot to the youngster in India, where they chase for overnight fame by having dream body, so that they can be on stage competing, getting sponsors, to have a better way out of being poor.

As far as I know, being an influencer is not a job. Most of these influencers, in real life, they are as poor as us. They may be rich in having large followers, but not rich in bank accounts.

Not sure why I am into this topic. Probably it gives me a reason to fall back from scrolling on fb reels and focus on my life.

Reeling Out

Dear Zach,

Sometimes I wonder, with all kinds of existing social media, is it even worth posting a part of yourself or your life or your opinion online just to get validated? The netizen can be extremely toxic and entitled just because they are progressively moving forward with their the trends and agenda, from being able to share your thoughts of some latest issue turned out being accused of being racist, just because they said so - gay forum is the most toxic place ever existed to be honest. A lot of influencers love sharing what they eat or they do in a day, and their unsolicited opinion about themselves, anything but useful info. Sometimes I have the urge to leave a unsolicited comment on their post saying "Who gives a fuck?" in which I certainly am if I do that. 

I have moved away from most of the popular social media apps. The only one that keep me posted with the latest news and info is Facebook from my laptop. If FB were to be installed in my phone, I would definitely be absentmindedly scrolling away. Somehow, I can't help but to constantly hover the cursor over "Reels" tab, bombarding me with endless of sexy shirtless indian brown man "Desi Man" flexing or stripping in front of me, those thick and hairy chest and brown torso, the algorithm knows what I like and keeps feeding me with desi man clips, making me feeling hot and heavy all the time, which all the more reinforces my strong sexual appeal toward indian men.

Somehow this needs to stop. As in being addicted to "reels" generally. I am still finding ways to detach from FB as much as I could. But I am constantly tired from work. So just fuck it. 

Sexually Demanding Work

Dear Zach,

For the past two weeks, I have been very occupied with my new job, and I was always tired. Although the job is physically demanding, I managed to accustom with it. There were days that are unpleasantly long; There were also days that are surprisingly short.

My libido somehow has not fallen short in relative to my demanding work. In fact, it exacerbated my sex drive. Last Tuesday, I finished my work earlier than usual, I went to Chakran eager to get fucked. And I did get fucked. Greatly. Raw. From the steambath to the open shower. I was so ecstatic because it has been so long since I last getting bred by an indian bear. We had an amazing sex session. He wanted to exchange number. But I politely declined. Also, I managed to suck off 7 inches big cock by an indian daddy in the steambath. That night ended all well for me. A load in my ass and another one in stomach.

Last night, I went to cruise at Dead Hill again. I didn't expect much. Since I've had a rested sleep the night before, I thought of giving it a go to that place. Half an hour into cruising the hill, I managed to hook up with a stocky malay. Amazing kisser and sucker. He fucked me behind an empty hut, me bending over the railing letting him using my hole, while I enjoyed the dark scenic forest view in front of me.

Once we were done, we parted ways and I tried to look for another encounter. But it started drizzling, I went to the hut by the lake to rest. A chinese guy came by and approached me. I gave him a blowjob. Then, another fellow saw us, came by, and joined us. He took over my place and sucked the chinese guy. Then another and another joined us. Then there was this skinny guy and me getting left out. But I managed to suck a smooth 6 inches dick by him. I thought he was a chinese. He told me he is a Malay. His smooth dick makes all the senses now. I asked him if he wanted to fuck me. He agreed and I pulled him aside, a few feet away from the crowd, and did the deed behind the hut. The chinese guy seemed to have finished off. He saw us fucking by the wall, he came over wanting to join us. Somehow he sensed he wasn't quite welcoming, he left. The malay guy pulled out and took off the condom, telling me he was about to cum. We cum together hard. Once we were done cleaning up, I kissed him for the good fuck and left with pure satisfaction. Although I am, still, not a fan of malay guys, I find that malay guys are more than willing to fuck an ass. I can't be picky enough since my main intention to cruise is to get dicked down in my ass. That's all.    

  

Trio-bj

Dear Zach,

Although my new line of work has been extremely physical tiring, some days I finished off earlier by 5 pm and went home. Few days ago, after I've had my dinner, I decided to give another chance going to Dead Hill to cruise. Since it was weekday, I guess there would be a handful of guys cruising around. And security would unlikely patrol the hill.

When I arrived the entrance of the park, a new fence was up with a big iron gate. It was unlocked and left ajar. Then, I saw a notice attached on the gate, telling the passerby to be cautious of construction works going on. Rumor has it that the hill gonna be demolished and will be developed into some estate.

I walked around in the dark up to the hill top. Only a few hanging around. I walked down the hill to the tombstone area just to rest because I was really tired from walking all day during my work. Later, I managed to hook up with two guys at once having a trio blowjob in open view at some corner. Two of them were good-looking. One chinese and one mix (ind/malay?). They both came but I did not. Before they both left, they asked if I was new coming to this hill since they never saw me before.

I spent a few moment hanging around making out with the chinese guy by the stairs where the cruisers walking up and down and watching us.

I kissed him good bye and left.  

Working Full Time

Dear Zach,

Right after my last post, I tried applying for full time courier for SPX on their official website. I also tried a few ways such as courier hiring ads on FB to send in my application. But my main choice is SPX, of course, as Shopee is the leading online shopping platform in SEA. I did not have much hope getting a reply because they usually ignore or reject or taking us for a joyride having us to fill in application.

The next day my application was approved and I was given a ID right after. The best part was that I was assigned to my preferred hub nearest to my home - like 5 minutes away.  All things happened so fast that I was required to check in with the supervisor on Thursday afternoon and started to work on Friday.

I arrived slightly earlier just to check out how the scanning apps run and so on. Then this stocky malay - one of the supervisor - told me to scan a code on his device to get the list of the parcels, and led me to the cage of parcels. No tutorial given. No advice given. I was expected to read the courier onboarding slides which I was emailed with a day before I report to work. And thankfully, I did. I carefully sorted out the parcels according to the area. I was a mess. I was frantic and no one seemed to convenient to help as other couriers were busy sorting their own business. And I was the only chinese there. Others all malays. Can't complain much because I was there to work. 

Since those assigned parcels were to delivered to areas less than 5 km away, I was pretty sure I was familiar with those places. Boy was I wrong! What I didn't expect was that walking up the flight of stairs of those ultra-low cost apartment was physically demanding. On my first day, I was confused by the signage, frantically searching for correct unit number of the super confusing apartment layout - probably the stupidest layout ever existed. Walking up the flight of stairs was a workout itself. Not to mention the extra steps walking from one unit to another, smelling like urine and cat shits. On my first day of work, I have walked 10K steps in just only 5 hours!

I finished delivering by 6 pm. I was all sweaty and slimy and exhausted. This is really a physical-demanding job and, no wonder, most of the couriers are lean and skinny all because of the work nature itself.

Nothing is Fare

Dear Zach,

I have been working as lalamove delivery driver for 6 months now. I am not ashamed to say I really like the job scope itself. Apart from greeting the fellow people at the pick-up and drop-off points, and dealing some shitty people, there is nothing much to be stressful about working the gig. I enjoy the silence of my job throughout the journey from one point to another. But in my head I always planning the en route to save time and effort to earn the most in the least amount of time. 4 hours passes by very easily by just working like that.

Having said that, the fare is getting lower by each month. I can tell by the statistic of the total amount of jobs completed in each month, growing from 50+ jobs per month to almost 120+ jobs per month but earning literally the same amount of wages. The math doesn't make any sense at all. I am earning the same as I was during my starting month on Feb but working twice amount the workloads. The fare for most of the jobs are dropping from RM20 at least to RM12 for 20km travelling distance. How is this even fair? How is this even allowed? How can you even justify this?

Everyday when I get ready for work, when I scroll down the list of jobs on the app, I get very frustrated looking at the fare. Even the price for a blowjob I used to charged was much higher than all of these. 

I am looking at other platforms for full time delivery job. Since I like the job scope itself, I think it is time to be full time delivery driver with workers benefits and incentives. I am looking at Shopee Express now. Sadly the hub, which is 5 minutes away from my home, is full. I would have to wait then.

 

Almost Get Caught

Dear Zach,

This is my 3rd night cruising at Dead Hills tonight. Last Sunday night was euphoric. Managed to get fucked by the lake side and at a secluded hut twice by a hot daddy.

I went again on Thursday night. Not much of luck but a few blowjobs but I rejected them halfway sucking them or them sucking me when I found out they are malay. I've had bad day on that day itself after dealing with a fucking fat malay security during delivery drop off. Then my rating of delivery service dropped after that. I despised Malay that night itself. They were surprised because we were having a great time before I asked about their race, but I don't care.

Tonight I go again hoping there would be more people of my liking. One hour cruising around the hilltop, I find no luck. Most of them are malay, again. I sit on the concrete top resting. Suddenly, there is this skinny guy rushes over me and told me to leave now because there is a motorbike coming up with high beams, flashing across the darkness. The malay rider, I assume he is a patrol security or some sort, sees quite number of us, and chases us away and telling us to leave as the park is "closed". I power walk down the hill with others as quick as possible before he catches on us. 

When we walk down the second hilltop, I see quite a number of guys running out from the other side toward the exit stairs. I join in and run down the stairs, afraid there would be cops chasing after us. I walk out of the park praying in my heart there is no police car awaiting for us.

I start my car and drive away from that place quickly.

Now I am back to square one, going to Chakran sauna is my only option now. By the way, Dead Hill is full of malays cruising after my 3 days observation. Since my hate toward this race has been reinforced, and this incident happens, I ain't going back to this place again.