Decision Made

Dear Zach,

In my previous post, I've mentioned about the notion of partaking Spanish course and listed out a series of doubts. I am very grateful that some of you are very encouraging for me to go for it if I am genuinely interested in it.

Having said that, I have also consulted Gemini (Google's version of chatgpt) and vented my concerns and doubts.

Here's what Gemini told me:

When you are feeling stuck, your instinct is to add something new to your resume to stand out. It's a proactive thought, but we need to look at how the Malaysian job market actually treats languages. If you are learning Spanish strictly to solve a financial strain and get a job in KL, the math does not add up.

In Kuala Lumpur, the high-paying language allowances are almost exclusively for corporate roles requiring Mandarin, Japanese, Korean, or Vietnamese because our economic trade is deeply tied to Asia Pacific. While there are a few corporate Spanish roles in KL servicing the Latin American markets, they are rare, and companies often hire native expats or native-level speakers who lived abroad.

Takes 2+ years, costs RM 1,150+ upfront per level, and has almost zero market demand from employers in Kuala Lumpur.

You have to be completely fluent—usually at a B2 or C1 level on the CEFR scale.

• To get to that level from zero, it takes roughly 600 to 800 hours of intense study.

• If you do it via a 30-hour classroom term every few months, it will take you years to get to a employable level. You need a financial solution much faster than that.

Therefore, I have decided not to go for it. My initial thought of taking Spanish course was just to slightly brush up my resume and skill. Somehow an AI clarifies my doubts, knowing that Spanish class is just a luxury hobby if you have the disposable money.

  

To enroll or not to enroll

Dear Zach,

I have been self-learning Spanish over the past 2 years and, so far, I've managed to understand the context of the conversation in the netflix shows I watched. But I am nowhere near being fluent in speaking the language because I have no one to speak with. I've always wanted to further improve learning the language itself. 

Chatgpt suggested me to take up a structured Spanish language course offered by the Spain Embassy in Malaysia. I've looked it up and it has several intake on every 3 months. Two weeks ago, I've inquired with them about the details and was told that the next intake for absolute beginner will be on mid of next month. The beginner Spanish course is segregated into 3 levels - from 1.1 to 1.3. The price for each level is RM950 for 10 weeks, the session will be conducted in face2face for 3 hours on Saturday.

Few days ago, I got an update about the opening registration for the new intake. Unfortunately, the timing for the class is not in my favor. I asked if I could jump into 1.2 level instead as I told them I have been self-learning for a year and the timing for that particular level is right for me. They allow it as long as I still have the basics.

The dilemma: Do I really need it? Why do I need to spend such amount to learn the language when I can learn it myself with all the free resources on the internet? Will I get a good return if I invest in this course? Will I travel to Spain for work? Will I ever get a Spanish boyfriend? Will I ever travel to Spain? Is this language gonna open door for me? Is this language important for me?

Sex = Money

Dear Zach,

I came across a post on the gay forum where this user posted about having sex is expensive.

Gay apps now cost money,

 

OnlyFans cost money, 

 

PrEP, PEP, monekeypox and other vaccines cost money,

 

paid fun cost money, 

 

find a room cost money, 

 

go gay sauna cost money, 

 

travel cost money, 

 

every fucking shit cost money,

 

sex = money 

 

money = sex 

 

What he vented about is an absolute truth. Having sex is no longer a free thing anymore unlike back in the days when guys could just lay back and stick their dick into any kind of hole for pleasure. The only concern for the heteros was getting their female partner knocked up. Other than that, having sex is practically stress free and easy.

Fast forward today, having sex is equivalent to spending money. Buying condoms of different sizes and brand, type of lubricants used for smooth penetration, figuring out the places to host for sex, etc. All added up it become a cost to bare. Not to mention if you are a frequent raw sex player, taking PreP is mandatory in this case, and frequent STD testing that cost over RM300, just to make sure you are clean to proceed to having sex at your own mean.

Since when having sex has become a financial burden for everyone? It is no wonder why most of the lower class gay guys are succumbed to STD and HIV fairly easy when they don't have the financial mean to purchase the basic necessary protections for themselves.

There are many times I want to have sex, but the only place I could have sex is going to gay sauna. It means I have to pay RM30 for entry, and consume a few pills of PreP that cost RM10 to get protection for myself. If I were to go every weekend, it would sum up RM120 per month! 

Who to blame? Is having sex becoming a luxury or is it not a basic psychological need anymore?

.

.  

Oh by the way, grindr and other gay hook ups apps are officially removed from google play store.  

  

Open Shower Play

Dear Zach,

Last evening, I went to Chakran after a month of not having sex. I was extremely horny I literally jerked off every night in the shower before sleep. I wanted to get my monthly massage session fixed but my wallet is running tight. So I decided to go to Chakran instead.

I arrived at 7pm - not much of a crowd. It made sense because it was on the weekday. Ten minutes in the dry sauna, I was already making out and sucking cock of one indian guy. I proceed to the steambath room and let some hungry suckers savoring my cock. But the most happening times for me were at the open shower area, where I got to quick swallow a big-dick indian, and got raw fucked by this tall bald indian daddy top.

I walked out of the steambath room naked as I passed by this mature daddy. Then, he followed me to the open shower as I tried to cool myself down with the chilling water cascading from the shower. He stood next to my shower, gently placed his hand on my erogenous zones and reached over my left to grab the publicly shared shower gel. I playfully grab his thick cock as he reached over. He squirted a few drops of the shower gel, lathering on his stocky body as he got closer to my back, and slid his hands across my back to my chest, lathering his soapy hands from my chest to my orifice. Before I knew it, he was poking his dick against my orifice, knowing what was coming next. He was trying to find a hidden lube at the top of the rusty pipe, but the lube is not slippery enough to penetrate me, so I used a bit of the shower gel instead to lube his dick up, and he slid inside me smoothly.

There were a few indian guys walked in on us were surprised by the sight of us fucking openly. But it was dark but they could make out the silhouettes of one big indian guy humping a pale chinese bottom at the corner of the shower room. Some of them stood aimlessly under the shower just to watch us. He finished outside of my ass. He thanked me and took a shower and left. 

I continued cruising around in the steambath room to have a great foreplay before I left at 9pm. 

Surrender Value

Dear Zach,

Few days ago, I happened to have delivered a few orders in the area where the insurance company at, I dropped by at the place and requested an update of my surrender value of my life insurance policy in which my dad had bought for me since I turned 21.

As expected, the value is half of what I was insured. I haven't been paying for this policy because the interest has paid off itself. In other word, I have a sum of money sitting there collecting dust. I have been toying the idea about withdrawal, since I have no one else, other than my dad, to leave something behind with if I die. The sum of the money I have isn't a large one, rather it is an amount that I could live comfortably without working for at least 2.5 years. Since I am working with minimum wages, my savings are now safe without depleting. But there were some times I would still have to use my savings for some random purchases.

Since my day time delivery work is now stable, I am thinking to work at night for a few hours in some garments shop at the mall. At least the few hours of work could supplement my total income.

I hope there is easy way out to get some serious cash. I would have loved to continue making my own porns but I would have been in jail by now. 

    

Ex fuck buddy Vet

Dear Zach,

His oddly familiar face plastered on the death memorial template in some random Veterinary clinic, which popped up in my newsfeed in Fb as I was scrolling down aimlessly. I was about to scroll down away until I saw his name spread across in the right center of the alignment in bold italic form. Then, I saw he was addressed in his shortened form of nickname, only then I remembered about him.

I was a bit shocked to learn about his passing. If I remember correctly, we met through Instagram years back when I was in my early 20s. He was a lean and good-looking malay guy in his mid-20s who worked as Vet. We corresponded on IG chat for quite sometime before we decided to finally meet up for sex. He came straight after work at night. He wasn't particularly tall. But he was a handsome guy with subtle moustache.

I sneaked him into my room at night after my parents asleep. He was such a great kisser. And, ultimately, an excellent ass rimmer. The sex was definitely top-tier. He knew what he was doing and did it very well.

Our sex always ended up in euphoria. I rarely cum for a top but he was one of the exception where both of us cum together. Since then, we became regular for sex. Every 3 weeks, we would meet up for sex at night at my place. The sex had always been great.

As usual, the sex has become less frequent as the months went on. To the point where we both stopped contacting each other and moved on.

Until today, in the mid afternoon, I stumbled upon his memorial post on FB randomly. He had a bright future as Vet. But he died fairly young. I wasn't sure how FB algorithm decided to show me this post. Literally, life is short. 

     

Fat Masseur Gives The Best Blowjob

Dear Zach,

I found this fat masseur in google last year. I didn't know he was fat, probably late 50 year old, until I met him in real person for massage service. His pricing is very cheap. RM60 for 1 hour massage is a bargain. And his private center is just 10 minutes away from my house. When I arrived, the shop was located upstairs with a signage about will writing consultation and service. Interesting. I was led to a corner of the premise where the room is sequestered for massage session - a massage bed, a table with stacked towels and a few bottle of oils.

The first session was great. He was very cautious to massage any part of my erogenous zones. The 2nd time I engaged with him again and told him that he didn't need to by shy and can massage those parts because I feel good about it being massaged. My purpose was to test if he was interested in giving me some extra service. The session turned out as I expected. He massage those parts, as I turned and laid on my back, he slyly slipped his hands across my balls and tips of my hardon. Then, he asked if I wanted to try a dick massage, which I don't usually do because it is just an assisted jerking off. I turned him down, but he proceed by grabbing my dick, stroke up and down as he closed his eyes, feeling my pulsating dick. And then he proceed to slide his hand across my chest and nipple playfully.

The 3rd session was when he started to giving me the great blowjob. My body was slick with oil as he deep dived sucking my dick hungrily. But, not sure if he was so good in giving me head or the massage improves the blood circulation of everywhere, I came fairly quick.

As the sessions went on, he seemed to be anticipating toward the end of the session. We started making out. Him eagerly sucking my oil slicking cock, until I cum in his mouth. He said I was the first customer he has ever given a blowjob to. "you are such a naughty naughty boy..." He smirked. Somehow his massage quality starting to drop as the extra service ensued. Therefore, I would only find him if I really needed to release. Or else I wouldn't go to him anymore.

In fact, I asked him if he fancies giving me blowjob sometime. He said yes. "You are the only guy I've given blowjob to but not others. Reason being I like you gentle kiss and make me feel good. So why not?". He gives the best blowjob so far. So why not engage him for a good time? 

You see, I seem to always be somebody else's first time. In fact, I have taken away a few virgins in my hand. 

 

Trip Cut Short

Dear Zach,

I've managed to have the house for myself for a few days after my dad left for Singapore. I invited my regular Pakistanis top over to my house after I came back from Chakran sauna having great time sucking a few dicks and getting fucked raw inside the dark steam room. The sex with the Pakis top was good as usual. This time, we have tried several sex positions since we got to have sex on the real bed instead of his floor carpet used as a substitute for the mattress he sleeps on.

Few days later, my brother dropped in from Singapore and stay home for work for a week. Today I've got to know that my dad had been feeling ill since Thursday due to food poisoning. Therefore, he won't be joining the crew for the europe trip and will be coming back home tomorrow. It has been a few weeks of bad omen. 2 weeks prior to his trip, he's had persistent cough. The following week, he's had a persistent diarrhea after taken a sachet of fiber powder. Now, 3 days before the flight to the actual trip, he was down with food poisoning, vomiting and diarrhea. I am starting to think that he is being anxious about this trip since he was gonna be away home for a month. I knew how anxiety attack looks like when you have one - always nauseous. Or, could be my mum in heaven telling him that this trip is a bad omen.

I am actually relief that my dad decided not to go on this trip with my uncles. In fact, I have been quite worrying about him. I am sure that my dad is in utter disappointment since he has spent quite a few thousands buying new clothes, shoes, and luggage bag just for this trip. Also the cost of the trip has also been forfeited. He may be at huge loss of money, at least he is willing to forgo the idea of forcing himself going on this trip in his current state of condition. He was very looking forward to this trip, somehow God has new plan for him. If it is meant to be, it will be.