The Blowers

Dear Zach,

I have been having hard time finding new tops since grindr was banned, and trying my best to find time to go to Chakran. But my working hours sometime exceeded and, by the time, I was done delivering parcels, I was dead tired. I did have sex last week with Karim (regular Pakistanis top) after a month of not meeting up. We've had great session as usual. But, for me, having sex once a month is little bit too less.

Today I happened to stumble upon this website posted by one user in the local gay forum, called The Blowers. It is a grindr version website, where your nude and sex videos are allowed to be uploaded in your profile for public viewing and enticing. Pretty simply layout and interface. Surprisingly, there are plenty of local guys there! I signed up immediately and browsed through the profiles showing on my radar.

Most profiles are filled with their own big dick picture for tops while the bottoms' profile are ego-boosted with their own cock-sucking videos and pictures of pride-earned big dick in their mouth. It is like X combined with Grindr to produce this website. What couldn't be more worst is that your profile are allowed to leave testimonials by those encounters you've had with other members. I am unsure if this is a good move for people to leave comments about your bed skills just to get validated. I feel anxious reading all these good testimonials about those bottoms who give great bj to those big-dicked tops. It is as if they are too good to be true. The more profiles I come across with, the more anxious I feel about myself. What if I wasn't really that good in sucking as claimed by most of the guys I've had encountered with from the past? What if I wasn't really that good in taking big dick and got left bad testimonials in my profile? What if I needed to upload my own sex videos just to prove myself? It is not like I haven't done it in the past. 

This testimonial part is certainly an ego-booster for the user himself, but it also place an imminent stress hovering you. Imagine someone breed you and left a google review about your hole. 

Ultraprocessed Time

Dear Zach,

"Ultraprocessed Time"

Apparently, it is a relatively new noun released by Cambridge, defining that one is spending time aimlessly watching online content that is designed to keep people watching it, rather than to be useful and educational.

I did my utmost best to remove all kind of social media apps. I refuse to jump on the bandwagon knowing the latest viral video on tiktok or IG. I avoid X at all cost because those amateur gay porn clips are too resisting to avoid. There is this local gay forum that is too toxic to share your thought without being bombarded for getting called racist or dumb. The only good thing about the forum is knowing about the cruising places and saunas in town. There is no chance of getting hooked up from there.  

I recently find myself google searching their nude or sex tape of these fitness influencers/OF creator from my FB reel feeds, it loads all kind of their leaked nudes and sex images in my google image search and I couldn't be more satisfied knowing that their naked torso and precious genital, which requires USD20 to unlock for viewing, are leaked in the public domain for free viewing now. Before I knew it, I find myself searching more and more of their sex video for free and manage to watch a few full sex videos of this Latino guy. After watching, I quickly withdraw myself before I dive too deep into this sort of action. Thankfully enough to my local internet server provider (ISP), most of the adult websites are restricted in access. Therefore, watching gay porn online is never gonna be my after-work reliever.

It is so hard being normal. If having myself addicted to socmed spending hours doom scrolling is the new normal, I would rather be the abnormal one. 

 

Starting A New Slate

Dear Zach,

I recently bought a brand new samsung phone at the most bargain price from Shopee which costs less than RM1K. My old phone, which was bought in 2022, has finally ran its course and stopped having major security updates and patches since last year. The shelf life of every phone these days lasts at most 5 years. Therefore, I told myself my next phone purchase must be less than RM1K, having basic functions without all kinds of fancy functions I would never gonna use. I asked Gemini about recommendation and it pointed me to having A07 5G, with the price of RM800 with 3 months 0% installment option using SPAYLater.

The existence of AI is truly a blessing in disguise. It assisted me in rerouting the phone by toggle off and on a few settings to make the phone run extra smoother than the first day I started using during my shift of delivery under the hot sun, constant lagging and burning hot device under my palm. I was so regret about the purchase, but thankfully, AI assisted me in this matter.

I also removed quite a number of pictures and files from my new phone as all the data was transferred from my old phone easily. Almost 1000 pictures were removed - my cringeworthy selfie, my nudes, some other unworthy remembering, some miscellaneous, and past. Quite surprising seeing so much of pictures removed as I am not a fan of taking picture. Also, quite surprising to find out I have a few videos recording myself sucking dick I can't remember of. Mannn, I was hungry for the thick indian dick and full of hair at that time. It dated back on 2023. I moved these gems to my private folder. I just love videos of me sucking dick. I can hardly recognize myself when I was watching them. Yes I still have plenty of my sex videos from the past in files, waiting to be leaked "accidentally" so that I can kickstart my OF journey again. 

 

Fem Top ; Masc Bottom

Dear Zach,

It is funny how the table has turned where the bottoms are increasingly becoming muscular or masculine in contrast to the tops these days. Yes, I am one of the masculine bottoms subset and so proud of my identity and look. Most of the tops I met love me as a tall sized masculine bottom. And some skinny tops have the biggest dick ever. 

This scenario happens simply because of the steep competition between vast numbers of bottoms over the lacking number of tops. Imagine the top has to choose between a skinny and muscular bottom, the choice is pretty obvious for most.

My motive of working out hard in the gym is to get tops' attention. This is and has always been that way. So far, I have no issue getting masculine tops / straight looking tops to bed me either. My regular pakistanis tops are slightly taller than me and they love the muscular side of me. 

Cost Me A Week Load of Grocery

Dear Zach,

Reading is and has always been the best way for me to improve my language. I still remember when I was in college I used to read at least 4 or 5 books a month, and writing on this blog, and all together it tremendously brought my English to the next level. Books were used to be affordable. With all the inflation and shits, the cost of one book is literally a week of my grocery. Could you imagine how much RM70 worth of grocery is?

Despite that, I still bought a book of my favorite author. I tried to read it before sleep, somehow I am not able to finish it. I bought it 2 months ago, I am still half way through the plot. I am constantly distracted and couldn't concentrate in reading more than 10 minutes. Instead, I read one chapter per night. But when I've had a long tiring day after delivery work, my mind just couldn't read between the lines anymore.

To say that I am not interested in reading anymore, that is a stretch; I still do. But with the expensive price tag, I just can't afford buying books anymore. Besides, each title and content of the books are too similar but with different authors - especially at the self-enrichment section. I wonder if they just hire somebody to write for them and release it as it is. A good reason to dissuade me from buying them.

What Type of Men Do I Like ? (in my 30s)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Bald Forever

Dear Zach,

It has been almost 2 years now since I decided to shave all my hair and go bald. I feel liberated with the decision I made because I have saved up a lot of costs without going to barber and buying any kind of expensive hair growth shampoo for my crown thinning hair loss. All I need, now, is a shaver and shaving cream, maintaining the clean shaven bald look for every 2 or 3 days a week.

I do look like a brand new person going bald in the beginning. It takes a lot of getting used to for people. It is as though I went through a mental breakdown and respair to a new persona. Back then, I was still pretty lean and it made my head looked small going bald. Therefore, I work extremely hard in the gym to bulk up to compensate the difference. Now, I am pretty satisfied how I look. Bald really does suit me. I no longer care about how people look at me in a way I expect them to be. I am bald and love how it make me feels. Being bald makes me look extremely heterosexual. The gays, either in the sauna or at the cruise park, are surprised by my manly "straight" outlook, who turns out to be a total bottom who love offering his white smooth juicy ass for anal penetration. The guys in the sauna love me because they hardly encounter a masculine bottom who has muscle and other bottom they meet are either skinny or fat or feminine skinny or just super fat.

Being a bottom has been decided since ages ago. But being bald and bottom has never even crossed my mind. I was even afraid going bald could lose all my sexual appeals. In fact, it didn't. It blossoms.

If you ask me, will I ever go back growing my hair if I am given a chance to go through treatment?

Probably not. I would likely go bald for as long as I live.   

It Finally Shows

Dear Zach,

"Are you headed for competition?" the cute indian guy at the Sundry shop asked while handing me the change.

I was perplexed. "Or you just enjoyed lifting weight at the gym?" He nodded at my body. The penny dropped.

"oh no. I just like lifting weight." I chuckled at his comment but deep down inside I was giddy at his indirect compliment. Especially coming from him.

I have been buying bananas and limes from this Sundry shop since forever. This cute indian helper always at the till and love giving me a few cents off from the bill. He has been seeing my physical changes over the years. For the past 6 months, I have been focusing training a little bit too much on my chest and shoulders, now it finally shows.

A random compliment from a cute stranger to my progress does make my day!