Untitle

Dear Zach,

For the last few weeks, apart from going to gay saunas, I also have been dropping visit to a few bookstores in town just to check them out. Despite the fact that you can easily view the variety selection of books on the internet, something about visiting bookstore is and has always been an anticipation for me - especially browsing the newest releases placing right in front of the entrance with "New Arrival" tag upon entering.

I tried picking up reading for the past 2 months. Apart from reading books from my favorite author, I did try to read some others authors' work. But I didn't like it. I tried to finish it. I just couldn't. This made me skeptical in buying new books. Also, the prices of the books these days are never cheap. It ranges between RM60 - RM120. I still remember back then the cheapest was RM32. With the price double up now, I can no longer simply afford books from different author just so that I could "try" reading if I like it. With such price, it costs me a week of grocery shopping. I will probably look for second handed books online under RM20. 

Most of my expenses now are on the foods. My goal toward 90kg looks promising now. I am standing at 87kg. I certainly look bigger than I was. My ass is getting bigger and rounder. My chest looks slightly wider and larger but still looks like shit to me. I intend to go for being pro-bodybuilding. I asked my coach feedback about being PRO in Malaysia, he told me "... don't... it does not worth all the hardwork you pay off... just be fitness influencer or be a slut on tiktok/instagram, and get sponsors from there, you earn way more from there than being a PRO ... ". It was a total let down, but what he said it was true. If you are hot and good-looking, just dance stupid on tiktok would get you to somewhere.

Every thing now on socmed is all about sex.