April Full

 

Dear Zach,

Being away for so long after my last post, I felt like I have the need to write something down for what I have been doing recently.

This April is full of lies and bullshit, unfairness, no-manner-fuckers and late-night working. I have been told not to speak or give too much opinions. I have been told not to against with the boss. I have been told to be patience with everything, then I will soon find light in grey clouds. And for the sake of my job.

I am no patience man; I did my best to accommodate to whatever it is happening. I tried to be myself. Apparently being myself would have gotten me in great risk of being fired. So I pretend to be someone else – someone that I find myself boring and very dull. Maybe I should mute myself, preventing the tendency of talking too much.

I wouldn’t say that my job is the hardest thing of all; the hardest thing to deal with is People. People with different personality. And people seemingly have forgotten what it is to be like to have some manner in their attitude. Being rude and impolite is their thing now. Fuck them, seriously. 

Love What I do

 

Dear Zach,

I know the fact that once I started working my ass off for living, I would not have time for recreation such as reading and blogging. I practically work from early in the morning til the late of night – it’s more than 12 hours of working period. “You’d understand someday.” said my colleagues.

The only day that I can take a day off is Sunday, which I spend my time constantly on my bed dozing off. Even my mum has told me to camp at the gym and sleep there instead of coming back home. It sounded funny but it’s true that I have spent more time in the gym than my home itself. The thought is unsettling at first but sooner I’ve gotten used to the working routine.

It’s tiring. But I love what I do. That’s all matter.

Bad Liar

 

Dear Zach,

I thought I was a good liar; covering up my sexuality, pretending to be normal as I can be. Wrong.

Now, suspicions are speculating around. Not sure when I will be uncovered from the truth.

Funnily, my female boss had known it a while ago and asked me for affirmation, and she was perfectly fine with it as 90% of her friends are one of us.

I’m glad she’s totally fine with it.

I hope everyone is fine with me.

Being Hot Doesn’t Mean You Are Right

 

Dear Zach,

Hot gay guys are so much drama queen. They can’t take criticism or request from someone so easily - especially when you politely ask him to re-rack the weights back to the original place.

There was this hot-shot gay guy, who is a popular fitness model and I had stalked him several times on Facebook, happened to work out in our local gym club for several times. Today, he used the weights, I expected him to be put it back where it was; turned out he just left the weights and walked to another machine. I walked up to him and politely asked him to re-rack, he scowled at me, giving me the sour face. I did my job to be assisting him to carry all the weights he just used back to the original place. If I were being an asshole, I would have stood there not helping him at all. Didn’t he learn the most important manner when he was young? Put it back when you used - the most basic and simple rule and yet some people just couldn’t implement it or stupid enough to understand it. When come to think of it, he’s now ugly as shit with his ugly attitude.

You think hot guys are cool; they are asshole in reality.

Dear Hot guys,

If you think you are too hot to do such slavery job, you may die in hell.

xx

It’s March

 

Dear Zach,

How’s everyone holding up?

It’s March and I knew the fact that I have not been blogging as frequently as I used to be. Partly because I have to put the blame on my new job. But I am loving it nevertheless.

Life is rather mundane. It’s pretty much living up to my expectation so far. And, most important thing of all, I am really happy for what I am doing for living.

Miss y’all.

xx

Alive

 

Dear Zach,

I am very much alive.

Thank you for your concern.

Oh! By the way, my life is not boring anymore.

xx 

Second Chapter Of The Year

 

Dear Zach,

Seeing the first page of calendar tear off, remaining only 11 months to go, reminding me how lightning fast the time had flown by. It was really unimaginable that one day you realized it’s new year; the next day you found out you are proceeding to the second chapter of the year. Sometimes I always wonder if such fast-paced living could be tuned down into a slow motion, let everything that is left unseen to be discovered.

Too fast.

Too quickly.

Too busy. 

Everything that worth to be seen had just flown by away like that.

People are aging in each passing day they don’t realize it; Friends are getting lesser interactive to the point that getting in touch with someone is the strangest thing to do; Family is growing apart when the size and mind of children is getting bigger and smarter; Kids nowadays are getting more attached to social medias rather than in conventional books and toys. This is what modernity all about – always getting endless updates, always be improving. How ironic life is.

Living in a money-oriented society, rendering people to become more and more frustrated and despair about living, it have totally given them an access to the next level of self-centeredness. I couldn’t bare the thought of how the future holds. I believe in 2 years time everything will remain the same old cycle, except the technology and internet where they take in charge of people living. Always and forever will be.

Before It Ends

 

Dear Zach,

Before ending the last day of the first month of 2015, I’d like to say that I am doing fine now. I am currently waiting to start my new job next week. For real. There’s no turning back since I had signed the agreement few days back. All I have to do is to be looking forward what will be coming next.

When I looked back to the past weeks I felt like it had been forever since I left my previous job. Three weeks felt like three months. When I scrolled down the Whatsapp archive only to have realized the last conversation between me and my ex-seniors was almost two weeks ago. I can’t help the way I feel sentimental about everything we did together – standing under the hot sun, chasing people to listen to us for 30 seconds top. Life is never boring working there. Sometimes I wonder if I had made a right choice leaving the first company I had ever joined or what will I have become in the space of two weeks. If we knew then what we know now, life will never always be that unpredictable. But part of me do know the fact that I wouldn’t excel in that path I chose at the first place. Not sure why but I’ve got the feeling I wasn’t belong there nor the place welcome my presence. I just did what my heart intuit me. Sometimes you have to listen to your heart wants what it wants. Logical thinking kills and create fears. But I never feel regret joining them. Indeed, I had learnt so much in the space of three weeks I felt like I had learnt everything in 3 months. Of course, what I learnt from the past should be bringing forward to new reality, and implement it. I will definitely miss those days and them no matter how far I will have come along. They are and will always be my great teachers.

Now, I will just have to enjoy the remaining days before the hectic days of working life kicks in. Happy Weekends!

xx