Tuesday, April 15, 2025

The Worst Kept Coming - Part 1


Dear Zach,

Barely 6 months into 2025, I have already encountered what it feels like to have a mid-life crisis. Things happened so much over the course of last 2 weeks.

I failed to meet the expectation of my very first client in my graphic design work. Mainly because there was so much miscommunication over the whatsapp chat, even though I did what he asked, he never seemed to satisfy with what I did for him. Towards the end, there was some dispute over some outcome which may cost him a bit, he willing to forfeit his deposit fund and not willing to pay the remaining amount of the budget to me ... ... if I did what he told. I sent him a last email telling him "take care, wish you all the best in your future endeavor" which means "I ain't doing shit til you pay me or else go fuck yourself".

At the same time dealing with him, I was dealing with my mum's cancer. She was in pain on her hips for the last few weeks, she barely can walk. I spent most of my time at home taking care of her daily needs while she remained stationary at a comfortable place. My mum cancer's diagnosis was last year October. It was a metastasized cancer from the breast cancer, which she had 2 years ago and it was removed and treated, to the left hips of the bones. The pains was mild in the beginning of last year and, gradually, the pain was getting more and more as the months went by. By September, the doctor did a few testing on her found out there was a localized mass around the hips. It was hard to accept for my mum and my family as we did not expect it came back so soon. We started treatment by November. Somehow the treatment seemingly working for her. Only the recent pains was so intense out of the blue, last week she cannot move at all laying on her bed, crying in pain. My heart sank when I saw her suffering, so I called the ambulance and took her into ER. X-ray came out she has fracture on her left-hips. She has to be operated to replace the fractured part. We have been in and out of the hospital to visit her as much as we could while waiting for her turn of operation date. I wish her well at my best.

When things could not get anymore worst, this happened one week before my mum's admission to hospital, my 70-year-old dad fell flat his head on the floor while mopping the floor. We were away when he fell. Blood gushing out. It was a major public holiday, clinics are closed for the day. I was frantically driving around in searching for clinic. In the end, we found one. The doc did stitches on him. My heart went out for him when he cried in pain as he has to endure such incident at this age of life. 

Bad things did not stop there, I was the next victim... ... 

to be cont...


Saturday, April 12, 2025

6 Years Gap - I Return Here Again


Dear Zach,

Never in a million year would I thought that I would write on this blog again. 

MIA for 6 years, neither a long time, nor a short duration. There were days I wanted to come back and write. The lack of discipline and motivation, and depression, and failures in life that had halted me from writing on this blank page. I return to this page because I am in a difficult stage of my life where I literally failed in my life and career and in desperate need a place to vent. 

I wish I could describe what had happened to me over the past 6 years since my last post - I could write a book about it. Literally and figuratively. A lot had happened. A lot. I could write them down here without sleep. But that ain't gonna happen. I will tell. But not now. 

I am unsure if my fellow readers are still reading blogs these days. Some of my readers had become my fans of my adult content in twitter - which is now no longer exist. When scroll through my posts, I can't believe I have survived throughout the years til now - apart from that the 6-years gap. I wish I could reminisce my days before 2019, but it gonna take me an emotional roller coaster ride that gonna make my tear drops. I have been crying a lot lately.

It is fine if my readers are long gone. At least what i am writing now is just for my own record. For what I believe, things happened for a good reason.

Til then,

to be cont. ...


© 2025 Dear Zach
Maira Gall