Dear Zach,
Ever since I removed Grindr from my phone, I have been feeling quite lonely. It is not that I got to meet guys most of the time. But the constant anticipation of the grindr notification sound throughout the day is what I miss the most. Besides, most guys there are mostly Malays and I tried to avoid meeting them up. Ironically, I just got fucked by a Malay last week but he was just an old fling I met few months back. And I also got bred by another Malay last Friday in the motel room. What can I say? These 2 are the ones who have my number, and as a begger, I can't be a chooser.
A doctor friend of mine shifted his practice in town in the beginning of this month. He is staying alone in a condo close to his working hospital. We agree to meet up someday but he knows me damn well that I will not go all the way to downtown. Even if I go to his place, sex will always be involved between me and him. Probably it was just a courtesy text for letting me know he is in town for work for the next 6 months. I try to engage with him some topic for conversation but he seems not to be bothered. So I dropped it and move on.
I look at my contact list, apart from those unsaved number who are my sex flings, I realize I have no friend. It is kinda depressing that I am sex toy for them. Is it me being too ignorant for a friendship that does not involve sex?
This is an interesting question you pose. As a gay man, how many non-sexual (platonic) friends do you have? Do friendships ever transition from a sexual one to a non-sexual one? As men get older, it becomes more difficult for them to make new friends. Much has been written about this. I wish I had some ideas for you on how to develop a group of platonic friends.....if that's what you want.
ReplyDeleteAs depressing as it sounds, all of my encounters are sexual. None of them has evolve further than that into friendship.
DeleteI used to have a close friend - transitioning from sexual to platonic, sometimes with sexual benefits. As years went by, we talked less. Needless to say, we grew apart.