I Love You

Dear Zach,

Our last text exchange was 2 weeks ago.

I was waiting for your text.

I just want to tell you that I do miss you a lot. I want to fall in love with you. I couldn't.

But I do love you. I love you.

But seemingly God want to pull us apart. We can never be accommodating for each other.

I hope you can find your love one in future. I love you. May you and your future partner be happy always.

I miss you. I love you.

Away

Dear Zach,

I've been too immersing myself in Social Media to the extent I almost forgot who I am.

I need some time off from Instagram. It's too intoxicating. I need to step back before I got too attached to it.

Meanwhile, I just need some time off to think.

I miss you

Dear Zach,

It is too common; It is too basic to hear this 3 words 8 letters.

Slowly I've got to realize that it is not something lovely to be said by someone you care anymore.

Guys saying it when they are horny; Guys saying it when they are bored; Guys saying it when they want your attention.

As much as I wanted to retort with a savagely mean reply, I couldn't.

Because that's what I really want to hear from them. Be it they are horny or bored, I want to hear it. I want to be missed. I want to be felt important. I want to be loved. Most probably I, myself, wanting attention as much as they do.  

Frustration. Given up. It's all about sex. It's never about love. It never was.

I was their sex toy. They never really missed me.

Just Sex

Dear Zach,

For my whole life, I always tell people that I've never been in a relationship. 

"Really? For real?" They seem genuinely surprised. 

It is not that I do not want to; I could not find someone compatible. All of my time is spent in my job. I have much better thing to do other than falling in love.

As much as I want to, all the guys I've come across with mostly into my ass more than in my personality. Not sure if it is a curse or my life has been fated that way, I always ended up with someone in my bed with dick down my throat and my ass spread wide opened. I couldn't blame myself because part of me love sex so much its hurt. And I have high sexual carnal. 

There are few times when I attempted to make a meaningful conversation with my regular sex buddy before having sex, just right after I closed the door shut and turned around, their tongue were already seeking my mouth and deep down my throat before I could speak a word. Needless to say, I was stripped naked in few seconds and brought to my bed. 

Sometimes I wish they could actually send me a text at 12 pm, not 12 am, asking me out a date or something that would be nice. My phone will only be busy when the time closes to 10 pm. 

For the past years, I've never been to a proper date. Nor I ever ask for it. Probably thing goes easier for both of us that way. No string attached. No commitment. Just sex. 

Sex Every Week

Dear Zach,

It's been a while. 

I do periodically check out some blogs just to know how they are doing. 

I do read less over the past months. I can't afford to buy anymore books to read due to time constraint. 

I work 10 hours a day for 6 days. Basically I spent my time at my work place more than at my home. Coherently, my sexual carnal was shot up high for the past few months. 

Pretty much every week I had sex in every two days; I jerked off everyday. I've added two new malay guys into my list of booty call. For the past 4 weeks, I've been inviting this new top over the night and fuck me senseless. He's pretty handsome for a vet doctor and I can't get enough of him. Two weeks ago, this second new malay guy hit me up again after ignoring me over a chat. Though my heart planned to ignore him back, but my dick said no. He looks quite cute and pretty handsome. He seems intimidated by me. He is such a good kisser and rimmer, but just lack a bit of topping skill. 

Two nights ago, a malay guy hit me up on Hornet. Despite the fact that I had sex on Monday and Wednesday, I decided to chat up with him. He seems persistent in meeting up even I refuse to send my face pic. In the end, I sent him a pic before he was on the way here. He looks typically Malay. I got so turned on by his look. He likes to play rough. He suck my nipples and chew on it. And hugged me tightly as if I would go away. He has smooth tan complexion which turned me on even more. His rimming skill was A1. He groped my ass and shoved his dick inside on me from my back. I can tell that he likes it rough, but I enjoyed the new taste of sex. He came hard. 

After washing himself, we cuddled on bed and getting to know each other. He lives in Penang and outstation somewhere nearby. Today was the last day here. But he frequents outstation to KL. He broke up with his two-year relationship boyfriend 6 months ago due to falling out. They have become enemy since then. I asked if his ex boyfriend love rough sex. "Yeah.. he loves it when I chew on his nipple and fuck him rough. He likes it rough. And he has high sex drive. We used to have sex everyday before we both go outstation for work." He said, kissing me in my lips. A ping of jealousy hit me. I dismissed quickly. When he about to leave, we kissed goodbye. But both of us refuse to let go. Our kiss deepened. His dick growing hard again and pressing against me. I dropped down on my knee and suck him hard. He couldn't take it anymore and fucked me second time. I hugged him from the back after we done. "I should be going before we get into third round. Ha.". This was my first time having two sex in one night. 

Me as Grand Prize

Dear Zach,

"I finally get to meet you." and continued kissing me, caressing my naked body and untie my towel around my waist while he was still dressed. This was the 3rd time I heard it from the guys I met for the first time. 

I'm not sure why they said it. Or maybe they said it because they finally get the grand prize of winning. Probably the latter. He was the 4th new guy I met last night in months. We had come across each other over Instagram some time in last year. We planned to meet up and fuck but to no avail. Reason because that time he was staying way too far from my place and I thought it wasn't really wise to travel back and forth just to have sex. Since then, I decided to cut him off. 

Recently, I found out that he has shifted somewhere relatively near my home. So I tried my luck and hit him up few days back. Last night, he came over my place at 10.30 pm. Frankly, he looks better in person than in pictures. 

We were making out on my bed and I was so ready to get pounded. I sucked his cut dick so badly for full 5 minutes. I really do enjoy sucking Malay dick these days - cut, long, thick, and fit just nice in my mouth and deep down my throat, and clean. For the next 1 hour, I was thoroughly fucked and boyyy he was so good. He told me he could go on for hours but since he's fasting and back from gym, he was tired. I said "You did great." My ass was literally tearing up. 

Marry You

Dear Zach,

"Babe, let's get married!" he said it, over the text. We were in the middle of the text conversation when he popped up this.

"What? lol." I knew he was joking. Maybe halfheartedly. "Why get married?"

"I don't know. I just want to marry you. Be my wife. So that you are only mine."

It's been six months since we last talked. Two weeks ago, I received a text message from him out of the blue saying "I miss you."

We traded texts. Nothing significant. Just usual morning and night greeting. He didn't bother to say much about himself from his side; Neither do I. He sent me goodnight kiss via text on the third night. I did not reply anymore. Since then, we remained silent.

----------------------------------------------

"I would marry you." He kissed me on my lips. We were both naked on my bed as I was snuggling with him.

"oh really?" I took a good look at him, actually he's not that bad. We met up for the third time at my place. He gave me good sex always. I always crave for him more. But he's a pilot - that's the limiting factor.

He slowly slid down his hand to my anus, trying to sink his finger into my butthole. I knew he wanted it.

I gave in.

 

Lust For Life

Dear Zach,

"This song is nice. Who sings it?" He was on his elbow, peeking over my laptop, the scent of post-intense sex was so heavy I could barely breathe. This was our third time meeting up at my place for sex. He always leave me wanting more of him. He's average looking. Average built. But he has a nice ass. Sex with him was always splendid. I tried so hard not to moan so loud while my parents sleeping next to my room. From the beginning of the year til now, I only had sex with 3 guys - one of them was one time off and I didn't bother to contact him anymore. I am limiting myself to less than 3 sexual partners. Hornet was my main choice of searching for hookup. But none of them are up for my preference. 

Whenever I had sex with him, I would always play a song as a background music. This time, I decided to play this song.

"Lust For Life by Lana Del Ray." I said as my eyes was heaving. "It's a sex song."  

"Really? hmm. Maybe." He climbed over me, stood up, and squinted his eyes at the flash white light emitting from my laptop under the dark room. "A nice song for sex." 

"Yeah." I scooted over to one side and he laid down next to me, we cuddled and talked casually. 

As usual, when he left, I sent him a thank-you text for having a great night.