Shutting Them Down

Dear Zach,

The government is seemingly making a move to shut every gay social apps in the country. The first step they did is to block access to Grindr and Blued on website - the news just came in today. This is my first time knowing that Grindr can be login via website. But who accesses Grindr through website anyway? They are also taking proactive measure in examining legal options to curb their mobile applications.

It comes as no surprise they decide to ban these apps after the epic raiding of gay sauna in the last November. It is the last straw for them to cut off all the relating LGBT stuffs in tangible sense. There are a few unpopular gay sauna still operating - I just went to one of them last week in daytime. It is just matter of time they will be closed or another raid to force it shut.

I also can foresee that, in years to come, the LGBTQ community would find it hard to seek same-sex sexual partners without the existence of gay dating apps. As a gay man who has been an avid user of grindr for years, I would be damned if they ban it. Going to pubs or club is not my thing nor any place with large crowd. Cruising in public toilet would be damn risky to do so, despite I love the thrill of it. 

What are the options available for a gay man to meet other man in same mind alike?

Reunited With The Regular Pakis Top

Dear Zach,

It has been almost 2 years since I've met this regular pakistanis top. He used to holler me over to his room every other week to fuck me and sometimes he would invite a few friends of his taking turn to fuck me after one has done. After some time, he has left for new work opportunity in Penang. He would come back to my area occasionally to visit his mates and asked me over. And that was almost 2 years ago.

Last Sunday, I downloaded Grindr just to look around. Within seconds, the closest profile messaged me with raw unedited long dick picture. Then, he showed me his picture and asked if I still remember him. Of course I do remember him - he's the only pakistanis who sucks dick, kisses, and does rimming. By far, he is my favorite top. He told me he bought a new phone after he lost his previous one and all contacts were gone. Hence, he couldn't contact me and tried hard finding me in Grindr. That day was his lucky day I guess. 

I met him at my place that night. He is still lean and slim. His hair is still slick and luscious as usual. But he got so tanned and his skin shows the sign of working tirelessly under the hot sun. We stripped naked, his 7 incher already hard, and we got closed and moved our heads closer. We embraced and hugged for the longest time ever. As if we were a long time friend who went missing for years. My lips engulfed his lips, tasting his smell of cigarette, and lust. His body is lean with strong abs though it is not visible. But I can feel it under my palm as I slid my hand across his stomach down to his 7 incher, and bend down and had him in my mouth. I sucked him so good because I haven't been able to suck dick for weeks and this was the biggest dick I've sucked since the beginning of the year, and I also missed him too.

I grabbed the condom and put it on him. I sat on him to expand my butt canal fully and deeply before he fucked me hard and deep as he always like. We switched to doggy style - our favorite. His both hands grabbed on my hips, his hips undulated as his dick sliding me in and out as I love. He picked up his pace and slamming me hard. He gave it all out as if it would be the last time we met. Meanwhile, I was face deep in my pillow, muffling my moan, letting all of his pounding yearning his favorite hole. As he started to pant, it was his sign of cumming, he embraced me hard from behind as he let out his orgasm.

After we were done, I drove him back and bid goodbye. We promised that we will meet again.

The length of my dick: For now

Dear Zach,

I am very surprised to have found out today that my dick is at 5.5 inches hard. Why am I surprised ? It is because, a decade ago, I measured my dick and it was at 6 inches at most. Now, as I age, it has become half an inch shorter.

Recently, during the usual jerk off session in the shower, I started to notice that my dick has become slightly shorter than usual. Just now before taking the shower, I made myself hard and measured it.

Now with the measurement I have, here I thought that jerking off everyday could make your dick longer or something. Turned out it wasn't. Unlike the muscles I train in the gym everyday, it won't grow because I beat it everyday. 

All the while I always thought I have the standard asian size of dick and was complimented by a few tops for having the potential of being a top. Even the bottoms I met in the sauna love sucking it.

I am truly horrified by the latest revelation that a part of myself shrink. Although I am not disappointed by it as I am a pure bottom myself and my ass, most of the time, is fully utilized during fornication, it does bruise my ego a bit knowing the truth.

Could it be that the bigger the dick I want from a top, the more it shrink?

Life as we know it

Dear Zach,

This year CNY is never the same with the absence of my mum. Every new year, she would be in the mood of spring-cleaning every corner of the entire house, decorating the wall with a bit of red decors with the bare minimum efforts to live up the festive mood. Her loud absence in the house has made a very drastic mood shift in us. My dad and I did not do much for the festive season - only a few cleanings and that was it.

The week before the CNY holiday, I have been on the road working delivery in the afternoon. The festive season traffic was so bad I literally spent almost more than 4 hours everyday on the run. But I can't complain for the high fare during this festive season. My life has been very mundane - apart from going to the gym in the morning and working delivery in the afternoon, at night I spend my time resting and go to bed early. I did have sex once this month and I'll write about this later.

Then, here comes the reunion dinner on Monday night - meeting familiar faces and the usuals. The next day, which was yesterday the CNY day 1, was a somber day as it rained non-stop since morning. After I came back home from gym in the morning, I found the gate and the door was left ajar and my dad was no where to be found. A few minutes later, my dad walked back from a few houses down and told me that one of our closest neighbor fainted at home. I quickly went to my neighbor's house and found the paramedic has pronounced his death to his wife. He was a 79 year-old good man who loved his dog. We were by the wife's side until his children arrived. I also helped out the paramedics to carry the deceased from the chair to his bed. My late mum and dad were very close to them as neighbors. They helped us out a lot when my mum was bed-ridden for her final months. So, I reciprocated as much as I could til their children were here.

As we were driving to downtown for another reunion lunch, my dad seemed to be in deep thought in the car. I can tell he was deeply affected by the passing of the neighbor, but he wasn't surprised by his sudden death because he was told a week before that the neighbor had signs of random pains ensued.

My dad let out a sigh and said: "Life."  

Working as Delivery Man

Dear Zach,

Towards the end of last month, I couldn't get myself to stay at home doing nothing anymore, I've decided to sign up Lalamove to become a delivery rider, also known as p-hailing, to kill my time. Since, I have my car, and the sign-up process is way less restrictive as being an e-hailing driver such as Grab Car driver, I took the leap faith and signed up for real on last Thursday.

Within half hour, my account was approved and available to start accepting orders and deliver. After gym, I had my lunch and shower, I left home at 2pm to start working. My first day of being a delivery man was brutal, especially under the hot scorching sun. By the time I have done picking up or dropping off items and was backed in my car, I was sweating like mad. I drove around and accepted orders around my area, after 3 hours, I went home with only RM24. I took 4 orders that day itself and each order took me roughly 30 minutes to deliver including the short timing of picking up, calling, confirming, and dropping off.

I was disappointed with the amount of I earned for that day. It was way too less for the total of 4 jobs. I felt like I made the worst decision signing up to be a delivery rider. Then, I resorted to consulting ChatGPT for advice in earning decent wages working as Lalamove Delivery rider. It has given a good and sensible advice and I decided to follow exactly what it told me to do the next day.

The next day, after gym, lunch, and shower, I left home a little earlier than yesterday and started accepting a long-haul distance job instead of short distance ones. I set a minimum earning target for myself which is RM50 per day. Soon, I accepted a delivery job nearby my house that needed to be sent to a place that requires 45 minutes to 1 hour drive. The pay was RM39 after commission deduction by the company. After I have done the first gig, I accepted another job that travelled back to my area at RM30. That day itself, I have earned RM69 in just mere 3 hours of driving on the road - literally a triple jumps from the pay I got in the previous day!

This is the what ChatGPT told me in its takeaway : Most drivers fail because they accept everything, you’re building a system instead. You’re not trying to be busy. You’re trying to be efficient. Busy drivers make RM70 in 6 hours. Smart drivers make RM60 in 2 hours. Be the second guy.

Since then, I have been working at least 3 hours a day on the road earning RM50 at least. There were some days I earned over RM80. But most of the time I managed to earn between RM65 to RM70 a day. Some days took me 4 hours to travel back and forth due to heavy traffic. But today was a great day - I've earned RM84 from the relatively short-distanced jobs, and I got to get home by 4.30pm!

I can't complain much now. This delivery job has given flexible timing for me and my gym routine. At least I got to work out in the morning without a rush. And I got to be home for dinner and rest at night. Yes, the pay is minimum wage and, at least, it starts paying my bill and fitness lifestyle. I couldn't ask for more now. I am not useless now!