Daddies' Juice

Dear Zach,

Last evening, I went to Chakran with the hope of getting railed by one of the black indian cocks. I arrived before 7pm, the crowd was good - probably more than 20 men in there. I quickly stripped myself naked and wrapped the towel around my waist, and walked up to the 2nd floor looking for action.

The men were by the corridor in front of the sauna. Everyone was looking for everyone. The steam bath was crowded with men and moans. Surprisingly, the temperature of the steam bath has finally fixed and the heat was great as I could barely feel any heat in the steam bath room for the past few weeks I was there.

There were some fine-looking indian gentlemen that night. One of them was a really good-looking, thick hair, sharp jawline, beautiful face feature, and lean toned body physique. He was a catch. Our eyes locked for a few occasion. We intended to get close but he seemed a bit hesitant. I did not want to come across as desperate slut as I was, so I just walked around and scout for others.

One tall silver indian daddy caught my eyes. He is really tall, probably 185cm, and has an average strong hairy body. Here I meant strong is because I can tell he works out a bit, has no belly but a firm chest. We locked our eyes. He then followed me into the dark steam bath room, hoping he would grab me before I disappeared into darkness. I stood quite out front near the entrance, so that he could make out of me. As he passed me by, I put my hand lightly on his crotch, letting him know I was interested in him. He held my hand and played my pecs with his other hand, light and playful enough for wanting him more. I dove into his hair chest and sucked his nipples, then he pulled me upward, and sealed my lips with his. He kissed me in an awfully romantic way. As the heat was too much, he grabbed my hand and moved to the shower room below. Now I saw him clearly enough. I kneel down and sucked his hard 5.5 inches, me on my knee, my eyes looking up to him while I sucking him, wanting to see how I took him in my mouth. As a silver daddy who is closed to 50 year old, he certainly is keeping himself in good shape. I told him to cum for me. He started to jerk his dick off slowly, I was still on my knees, eyes locking with him, tongue out front of his dick, hungry for his cum juice. Minutes later, I could feel a taste of sweetness in my mouth, it dripped back to my throat as my mouth still wide-opened for him to finished. I stood up as he finished. We chatted a bit. Then I kissed him goodbye and looked for others.

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I opened the door of the sauna, there I saw the good-looking lad standing by the wooden wall near the door entrance, our eyes locked for a bit as if he was telling me he wanted me. I entered the sauna and sat for 2 minutes and left because the men kept coming in. I walked to the back of the premise and sat on the stool, there I saw another white-looking fit silver daddy. He is slightly bulkier, probably older than the first one I met but he looks pretty good at his age. His eyes were locking on me when I walked. I went to the private lounge to see if he followed. He did. The private room was unlocked and free, I went in there, and wait for him. He appeared, then he closed the door behind him. We both took our towels off, my eyes went straight to his whooping 7 inches schloong. We moved our body closer, I placed my hands on his hairy pecs, him sniffing on my necks, our faces were so close to each other, we moved in for a kiss, followed by our tongue stacking against each other. His 7 incher was poking against me. I kneel down and placed him in my mouth, sucking it gently while I tilted my head up, eyes looking up to him as I did the first one. I love it when I get to look at their facial expression when I suck their dick in this way. Somehow it makes me feel like a slutty boy on his knee getting punished for something I never did. Their immense pleasure plastered across their face as I looked at them in their eyes when I sucking them so hard give me a satisfaction that I have the power over them when their dick in my mouth. I wanted him to fuck me, but he did not want to. So I gave him a sloppy blowjob. I told him to cum in my mouth. He started jerking off, I dropped on my knees, both of my arms high up playing his nipples, before I knew, he exploded all over my mouth.

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The 3rd load was rather quick. I sucked this indian daddy, as he grew hard, I could feel the pre-cum leaking in my mouth, the next minute, he cummed inside without warning. I swallow it and he left the steam-bath while I sitting in the dark waiting to score the next one. By now, my mouth was full of unborn babies from 3 different daddies. If the throat can ever be pregnant, I wonder what is the chances and who the father was.

By 8.30 pm, the crowd has become thinning. I went to the roof deck to check out, found another skinny daddy laying on the mattress, awaiting for someone. I went in and play his dick under the towel, he untug the towel and let me suck him. I was sucking him for good ol 5 minutes to get his dick hard 6 inches. I kept sucking him and he cummed in my mouth without another warning.

I left the sauna with 4 loads in my stomach and dissatisfaction of not getting fucked.

Breeding While Having Fever

Dear Zach,

The next day after the trip to Otot2 sauan, I felt my head spinning when I woke up in the morning. But I still make myself to the gym since it was my favorite leg days. But my workout were cut short into 35 minutes session as opposed to usual 1 hour 30 min because I could the fever fatigue hitting on me.

When I got into my car, I checked my phone and there was a grindr message. It was from a chinese top I met few years ago. He has been texting me over the years for 2nd meet up but our timing were never right. So happened I finished my gym session before 10 am but my intention was to go to the clinic. So I decided to meet him up and his place was just 10 minutes away from the gym. 

We met at the front of the convenient mart so that he brought me up to his apartment unit. He looked older than we first met. At least he did not get fat but his physique remained borderline stocky.

After I washed and douched in his bathroom, he was naked on the bed playing his dick. I crawled over his bed and put his semi hard on in my mouth. He grew into a full 6.5 inches thick as I worked my slutty mouth on his chunky meat. The top-down windows of his room were fully seen through but his unit is at 15th floor, and it was day time, the cars on the highway can barely see us from down there. I kept sucking him and he nudged me to deep throat it. But my throat was hurting from the fever/infection, I told him I would try. After a several attempts, I lubed myself up and his hard-on, I placed my orifice against his tip, poking in slightly to bulge my anus opened, slowly, skin-to-skin sliding in with ease. I just love big and thick dick raw fucking me. I rode on him for a while before we switched to doggy style.

He fucked me in a relatively quicken pace, but not enough for me to moan louder. He grabbed his phone and record the penetration view from my back. I did not mind at all because it meant that my ass looks too good to true. Then, we moved our sex play to the kitchen isle in front of a big mirror. I was leaning on top of the isle facing the big mirror, back arching for him while he was taking it from the back as we were both looking at the mirror. To my surprise, I look quite muscular in my reflection - though I still have to work on my shoulder and arms. He kept fucking me hard til he told me he was gonna cum. With his breathing pacing up, he squirted his man juice inside of me. His thick cum was spread along my ass cheeks as he pulled it out, I looked at my ass in the mirror, wet and covered with his white stains.

I cleaned up and left his place. Before I went back home, I dropped by the clinic.    

Raw-dogged by Bear Belly

Dear Zach,

One day after getting PREP, I have already been raw-dogged by 2 men.

Yesterday evening, I took 2 doses of pills before I headed to Otot2 sauna. The chances to get fucked there is relatively higher. I decided to try my luck. I was under the weather since morning at the gym. My throat started to do its trick again. By the time I reached the sauna, I was feeling lethargic. I couldn't stay long in the hot sauna, I felt myself burning up - the fever was creeping in. I cruised around the dark open spaces and steam bath room to see if I have any luck. At that point, I really didn't mind to hook up with the malays, I just wanted to get bred by random guys.

Towards 10pm, I wanted to give up and leave because my head started to spin. I walked into the dark open space again. An indian bear, with his hairy bear belly and scruffy chin, walked into the room, he seemed to be eager to hook up as I saw him trying to grab a skinny malay twink, but he pushed him away and told him he was not interested. He stood by the wall, playing his dick, then he saw my silhouette sitting in front of him. He came over, reached his hand over my dick, playing it, I did the same to him. He was already fully erected at 5.5 inches. He smooched me as soon as I stood up. He tasted like beer. We were making out in the dark, other men were passing by us and some were trying to squeeze in between us. He licked and chew on my nipples ferociously, I let out a moan. I kneel down and put his dick in my mouth, it smelled like indian cock I love it.

We, then, moved our play time to a private toilet. He ate my ass, his scruffy beard tickling my ass cheeks as he ate my ass. I grind my ass against his cock, as if nudging him to slid right in. He spit on his dick, and he entered me fully raw. Ohhh I love it. How the years of fantasizing getting raw fucked by a random guy at a random place, having bareback sex without any trace of doubt, letting the natural fornication taken its course just like how it supposed to be - no barrier, no worrying, no limit.

He grabbed my shoulders as he humping me from the back. As he quicken up, he let out a moan and cum inside of me. He pulled it out and my asshole was dripping with his juice. We chat a little. I believe he is not a local. He is a Punjabi but I couldn't hear which country he is from. He seems to have little understanding in English. I gave him a kiss, and took a long sniff across his hairy chest and belly, and bid him goodbye.

I took a shower and left.

On PREP and PEP. Finally.

Dear Zach,

After years of thinking, months of being persuaded, and days of absolutely doing it, I am finally to be on PreP. I know this is not some sort of groundbreaking announcement, but at least I am glad that I am taking more precaution in protecting myself in having sex.

I wasn't convinced the method of taking prep daily. I don't see the point of taking daily as I am no longer a sex worker, and I do not have sex everyday. I only have bareback sex with both guys whom they are also on prep. So basically, the chances of getting HIV is technically zero.

I was in no intention to visit the clinic. But the tendonitis on the middle finger of my left palm has been bugging me for 2 weeks. The pain persists no matter what I did. So I got no choice to make a visit to the clinic. The doctor who specialized in PREP and PEP medicine was so happened to be on duty that day. Hence, I queried him about it.

He convinced me that PREP can be taken on-demand method - in other words, only take it when you intend to have sex 1 or few hours before, and continue taking it for the next 2 days. He said that recent studies have shown that on-demand method is proven to be as effective in protecting against the infection as taking it daily. I was surprised to know that. All this while, I have always thought it is a must to be taken daily. The doctor also mentioned that you can continuedly taking it as long as you intend to have bareback sex for days, or else you can just stop. Only take when needed. Same goes to PEP, aka deoxypep, it is designated to protect yourself from STD after having unprotected sex. Same method as taking PREP, but the duration is only one day shorter. I wasn't into taking PEP, however, syphilis can be a nasty work of art when comes to treating it, that was what the doctor said. It is better be safe than sorry.

The price for 1 bottle of PREP is RM75 for 30 days while PEP is RM60 for 30 days. They are relatively affordable and cost-saving if I were to use on-demand method. I was totally won over by it, and decided to grab 3 bottles each. These bottles are more than enough for me to last for almost a year if I plan it wisely when comes to having bareback sex. It is certainly not a hall pass to have free reign raw sex with anyone, but at least I can have raw sex with big dicks in peace now.     

Returned Spirit

Dear Zach,

On the 6th day after my mum's passing, in the Chinese tradition, we family members are required to prepare prayer to "welcome" the returning of the spirit at home at midnight. In short, this prayer is to welcome the deceased spirit to visit us for the final time.

Since my brother was headed back to Singapore, only left me and my dad prepared all the food stuffs and prayers item for the night to come. We got everything ready on the dining table where my mum used to sit for dinner. We made sure everything was aligned correctly, nice and neat, as what my mum would have preferred. By 9.30pm, my dad lit up the long and thick joystick and insert in a flower vase, and put it on top of a stool, and placed them next to our main door. The purpose of the lit joystick is to create a faint light path in the dark, so that the spirit can "see" where it headed.

The opening period for the spirits to "visit" was between 10 pm to 2 am. By 10 pm, we were told to go inside our room, light out and sleep. This is to avoid "clashing" with the spirits - to avoid seeing the real ghost so to speak.

I was in my deep sleep state. But here comes the strangest thing happened.

Out of the blue, my room was getting stuffy and warm, even though the air-conditoner was working as usual. I felt my light goosebump, somewhat feeling there was a presence standing next to my bed. I was fully awaken by it but I kept my closed tightly. The "presence" muttered something on me, the next thing I knew, my whole body went numb, followed by a cold perspiration. I knew what it was but I refused to move an inch.

I was too stunned to move. I started chanting in my heart to keep myself calm. I told myself the spirits meant no harm to anyone. And one of them could have been my mum. According to the Chinese tradition, when the deceased spirit returned, it is always accompanied by two "bodyguard" spirits. Hence, the strong presence could have been them. Not long later, I, again, went into numb-cold perspiration shock. This continuedly went on 4 times in the space of, I don't know, maybe every 20 minutes? I did not check the time when it happened. Even though I sleep with ear bud, I could hear the sound of cup clinking and opening lid of the kettle pot outside of my room. My dad slept dead after he took his sleeping med, so there was no way he would have came out of his room and sip water.

I was not sure what time it was, but for the finale, I felt the presence came back, the chair next to my bed was moved slightly, I was too frightened to move. Here it comes, I thought. Somehow, the presence gave me a sense of calm and comfort, it did not cause me any shock as I was ready for it.

I knew then it was my mother. Because she always clumsily knock away the chair when she open my wardrobe to put my clothes. I knew she was beside me, probably looking down on me for one last time. I can feel her; I can feel her reluctance to leave; It lasted probably a few minutes. Not long after, my sweating back starting to feel cool, the temperature of the room began to fall, the whole atmosphere slowly back to normal. That was when I knew it was the moment when she bid farewell to me.

It is Working

Dear Zach,

I have made some progress in my process of bulking up my physique. In just 8 months, I have gained from 70 kg to 85kg. Everybody in the gym has seen how far my progress come to and starting to view me in admiration. As my weight slowly going up, my abs is slowly become least visible. As a matter of fact, I am told that I look good at my current size. Indeed, I look at the mirror, I look stocky and my ass has become more plumper than before, all the hard "ass" work in the gym is slowly paying off.

I am still watchful of my diet. I did not stray too far from my meal plan although I have the excuse of telling myself I am bulking up. I realized that when I stick to exact meal plan I have configurated, my weight has finally gone up. Calorie counting is crucial when comes to weight management. A lot of guys who have noticed my significant progress in the gym approached me asking about food and meal plan as most of them eye-balled what they eat and expect to gain significant results. They were disappointed when I told them to just count your calories, I bet they expect some secret juice or some sort.

As much as I eat a lot, I am still budgeting in terms of my grocery list. As I am not working now, I do not intend to spend shitload of money just for food.

I still have another 5 more kgs to go to reach my end goal.

Hopefully I could reach it by the end of the year. 

New Favorite Place: Chakran Gay Sauna

Dear Zach,

Few posts ago, I said I would stop going to gay sauna. But I failed to comply. On the other note, instead of going to the usual sauna I went to, I decided to go to a cheaper entry gay sauna in the town. The entry fee of Chakran gay sauna is RM30. Considering the fact that it is located at the busiest street of the town, the price is reasonable. It is reasonable because the facilities are much sub par compared to the ones at OTOT2 which has jacuzzi, high heat steam bath and sauna, and ample of spaces. Chakran is just a one-floored layout with small sauna and steam bath room with subpar temperature, even the shower room is just located at the very corner of the layout. It has a narrow spiral staircase to the top balcony with the majestic view of skyscrapers. But it is shaded with outdoor net, hence, from the look from the outside, it is not visible to see some action on the balcony. It has only 2 private rooms, others are just cubicles covered with curtains. So far, I don't see much action there because men there are quite shy. 

One thing I love about Chakran is because majority of the patrons are indians - brown, dark, tanned skin men. Some are bangladeshi and pakistanis. And my main preference in men when comes to sex is Indians. Simply because they have big dicks. Indeed, I've had best times there sucking random big black indian cocks in the dark steam bath room, one and another, bopping my head between 6 to 7 inches of black dicks, surrounded by the scent of musky curry smell, slopping over girthy uncut dicks from left to right. I was in heaven. Most of the time, I was the only chinese there, therefore, I was outstanding amongst the brown crowd.

Since the place is small, getting into action is relatively simple because there is nowhere else go cruise. Most of the action take place in the sauna and dark steam bath room as both of it are just stone throw away from each other. Most of the time, I was the one who instigated the action. One of them would start slipping their hand underneath my towel to reach for my dick and vice versa. When I felt their dick started to grow underneath my hand, I reached over and started sucking it joyfully. The others could see my silhouette in the dark room, they would start to come around me, playfully caress my nipples and dick, one by one, one sucking my cock, one making out with me, one hungrily sucking my nipples. I was breathless in between them but I was euphoric. Then, they dropped their towel, I was facing with plenty of option of dicks to suck. Most of them are well endowed, they were eager to push their hard big cock in my face while I was sucking another, I turned to the next one and suck it, then repeat with a few others. Usually, when they cummed, they would just leave and I would continue my hunt til they closed at 9.30pm. By 9 pm, everybody would be gone.

I always leave with heavenly satisfaction after having 5 or 6 dicks in my mouth. Chakran is my newfound hookup place with my gathered favorite indian men. 

Seeking Partner

Dear Zach,

When I was in my 20s, I always thought about having a relationship - head over heels romantic relationship. I read so much of romance novels when I was in college, I was hoping one day these kinds of shoulder-bumping falling in love at first sight scenario would have happened to me. If not first sight, probably a few fucks before getting into it. When the more I expected it, the more it stretched out towards an infinitely distant point in the future. Although I've had sexes with plenty of men over the decade, I still couldn't settle down for one guy whom I feel like he could be the one. I never had a relationship. This truth ought to surprise some of my hook ups as I told them when they asked.

" .. but you are good-looking, how come?"

I just closed my eyes, laying my head on his chest after sex, and trying to scramble my mind for random answers just to reply to his question.

Til this day, I find it odd myself as to why I never had a serious partner. I can find a guy to have sex easily, but I can never find a guy who wants me as a whole. I noticed that I tend to give out strong sexual appeal and the gays look at me hungrily as their sexual object. I am not complaining, but at one point I wonder if that is the only thing I can offer - oozing sex pheromones and having the men lusting over me.

These days I can't help myself but feeling a bit lonely. When I looked my contact list, I don't even have a confidant to talk to about everything. I have been alone for very long time, but the feeling of being lonely somehow creeping into my life.  

Attract and Repel

Dear Zach,

Sex is like a magnet - attraction and repulsion. Like poles repel, while unlike poles attract. This metaphor applies to heterosexual and homosexual sex. Dick to vagina; Dick to ass. Simple as that. When a top intends to fuck, he fucks. When a bottom intend to get railed, he spread his legs wide opened. When a bottom intend to fuck a bottom, it would likely never happen.

Last week, I met up with this guy whom we have met several times few years back. He hit me up out of the blue and asking if I was free to go over to his place for a quick fun while his parents away to attend for a funeral. He used to be a vers-top. Now I am not sure.

He still looks the same as the last time we met. We made out at his coach and eventually we moved to his room. When I tried to suck his dick, I realized his dick is shorter than I last saw. Probably it was too long since we have met. I sucked him. His dick slowly grew into a 5 inches solid. Somehow, he grew soft on me when he put on the condom. He told me he had cum few times before I arrived. He seemed apologetic. I told him it was fine. But his ass looks extremely meaty and juicy. I asked if I was okay to fuck him instead. In fact, he was glad that I asked. I can't remember the last time I fucked a guy, but I did not really enjoy it. I tried this time if I could get myself hard enough to fuck a guy. His bubble ass surely turn me on. But he was too tight for me to enter. Not sure my dick wasn't willing to let me into him or my dick wasn't hard enough to fuck. After a few attempts, I gave up. I told him I was done and left him hanging.

I was never meant to fuck. For all my life, I have been a bottom - a great one. Getting fucked real hard is my forte as a pure bottom. After this time attempting to be a top, I realized I will never go back to being a top for the rest of my life. I just don't like it. Bottom's ass repels me. My ass only attract dicks - especially the big and long ones.   

Ghosted

Dear Zach,

Being ghosted is pretty common nowadays. It happens in friendship, relationship, and sex. I have ghosted many men when comes to sex. When the sex was sub par, I pretty much deleted his number the second he left my house. I have plenty of sub par sex - the first time was usually great ; when comes to the 2nd time, somehow, it fell flat and the passion was no more. I guess we both felt that too. Once we were done, we no longer contact each other anymore. I don't believe the 3rd time is the charm.

The year before pandemic hit, I was hooking up with this malay guy, from being my masseur to my monthly sex buddy, for a year. I called him Rick. After the pandemic, we continued meeting up at his place every month. Our chemistry hit right off the bat. Everytime we met, the sex was mind blowing. After sex, we would stay on the coach, him sitting up right while my head laying on his thighs, he would brush my hair and talk about his days at work and asked about myself. He sometimes shared about his ex-bf with HIV and how toxic their relationship was. We gladly shared our thoughts and ideas about our lives. All things, sadly, have come to the end.

Towards the end of 2023, he no longer messaged me and replied any of my messages. The last sex we had was kinda off and I sensed that. But I did not query further. As months went by, I got nothing from him. Somehow, I knew he has a bf. Not that I found out, I just knew when a guy is in a relationship, he would just ghost others. It is not rocket science. One day in May this year, he texted me out of the blue, asking if I still remember him. We chatted a bit. He wanted to have sex with me again, although he was still in a relationship. I was stoked that he still miss our sex, somehow I was no longer into him anymore. But I did not have the heart to tell him that. I just made some excuses to turn down. He then texted me again 2 weeks later, but I ignored him completely as I was caring my cancer-stricken mum that time. Since then, he no longer texted me and vice versa. I knew I have to let him go the moment he ghosted me for a year and half and texted me again just because he misses us while in a relationship. Now it is my turn to ghost him. 

I met this indian young guy in 2021. It was one of the hottest day of the month, we met up at a motel in uptown 20 minutes away from my home. He is known as Ben. He is good-looking and almost my height. He has a solid 6 inches and thick in width. When he entered inside of me, it was otherworldly. I have never felt this amazing sparks inside of me. My ass was in sync with his every hip pounding on me. We were great with each other. The sex was amazing. After we were done, we kept in touch. Few days later, we met up again. We couldn't get enough of each other. We started having bareback sex although we barely knew each other. I was having doubts. But my lust obscured my rationale. I let him bred me. This happened for a few sex met up until I brought up the topic about getting tested. Somehow he was upset I brought it up, thinking I don't trust him. The conversation ended when he blocked me.

One year later, he found me again on Grindr. We met up at a motel for passionate make-up sex. Since then, we have been meeting up for sex monthly over the next few years. There were months he has to abstain from sex for prayers purpose. I respected him about that. It has always been him texting me first for meet up when he was free. Because he works for shift, his hours are odd, we didn't always get meet up at the perfect timing. There were times when he was available, I was not. He was staying 45 minutes away from my place, and he would always prefer meeting me at the cheap motel near my home. Since it was the only option when we both can't host. One thing I dislike about him that he has always been sketchy about his life. Whenever I tried to ask about his sexual life apart of having me as his sole sexual partner as he claims, he seemed to quite avoidance of my queries. I asked because I care. I care for his sexual health and always remind him to play safe with others. There was one time he blurted out about the consumption of PreP. As sketchy as always, he did not really answer my questions about how and where he got it from. Since we were having bareback sex most of the time, I was worried about myself. Every 3 months I would get myself tested.

As always, all things have its own expiry date, our last met was on May. Since then, all odds against us from meeting up - him getting into accident, working double jobs, tiredness. His monotonous replies to my every text has gotten me to think that he has enough of me. I don't blame him. He is 7 years younger than me, at this age, he should be having sex with everyone. And, I also accept the fact that no matter how great the sex was, at one point it will become a bore for both. Eventually, I ignored his every "hi" he sent. Last text he sent was asking me if I have extra condom and lube to spare. I blocked him. I do not need him rubbing on my face with his new found bottom. Or a bottom he has been fucking without me knowing. Whatever, I blocked him and deleted his number.

I am done being ghosted. Years of sexual relationship with the men you fond of have come to end just like that.

 

I Shall Stop

Dear Zach,

Starting next month onward, I shall stop doing these things.

1. Spending time on social media app

Truth be told, I have been doing nothing productive but scrolling away on the screen of my phone in FB shorts video. Same goes to IG reels. I could spend over 30 minutes of my time watching every short clips consisting of jokes and laughter. Although 90% of my IG reels are in Spanish, somehow I have gotten used to listening and reading the language and am able to understand probably 70% of the context of the video. But it does not justify the amount of time being wasted on it. Also, the notion of body dysmorphia is slowly creeping into my mind. Those reels by the fitness influencers keep popping up, making me start to become self-conscious about my body as I am on my way to 90kg and I seem to become quite stocky these days. I probably would delete IG app and remain FB just to keep up what's the trend and news these days. 

2. Going to Gay Sauna

I have been hooked to going gay sauna. Just this week itself, I have gone to the gay sauna 3 times, in an excuse for missing out my weekly sauna session for the past 2 weeks due to illness. Recently, I have become bored with the gay sauna scene. I see the same guys every time I was there. The sauna I usually go to is full of bottoms. The bottoms always assume I was a top - they tend to grind on me and give me a sloppy blow job. But I always make use of the facilities provided to fullest just to get my money worth. 

3. Staying away from Grindr

I have sex every 2 days recently. Either with my regulars or with some new random guys from grindr. I have been on grindr for every hour just to get sex date at my place at night. I can't keep doing this anymore. I blame on the process of bulking my physique to 90kg - the side effect of bulking is making me horny 24/7. Also, I am tired trying to discover another new mens' dos and don'ts in bed. Probably for now, I'll stick to jerking off or booty call my regulars if they are free.

4. Procrastination

I need to jot down on to-do list to keep my productivity in check. I need to find a source of income. I need a gig. Or a job to garner income. I have been thinking of venturing into writing. But first, I need to read a lot in which I procrastinate to do so. To be a better writer, you have to read. But books are expensive in Malaysia. I need to find a way sourcing for 2nd hand books. More on this topic in later post.