Dear Zach,
I am, again, finding myself falling into one of these jobless syndrome.
What does it actually mean? It is when you are jobless and having nothing else to do besides being jobless; upset because you are not working; thinking about what went wrong; complaining to the air that life treated me unfair all the time; complaining to the air that people at the old workplace sucks and they are so low level thinking that I was better than them; irritated easily over small issue; thinking about my validation instead of my qualification; emotional at night thinking about being jobless all over again; cry.
I am soon to be jobless actually. I don't know whether I should be crying or laughing. What have I done to my previous life?
Knowing that I will be jobless soon. I am bringing my scowl face all the time to workplace. People start keeping me a distance which I don't actually care. I feel like they are ganging up against me. I feel like the world is against me. Period.
I don't know what else I should do next anymore. Probably be a male escort?
Tuesday, May 22, 2018
Passive Sex Is A No No
Dear Zach,
This malay lad has been knocking on my grindr inbox for quite sometimes. He was either staying in a hotel where it is too far away or a place where the traffic is forever congested. I declined travelling to his place.
Last Saturday, he messaged me again.
"Getting anyone to fuck you today?", he wrote.
"Ya." I said.
He was willing to travel to my place nearby and get a hotel room for 2 hour sex. I agreed then we met at night. I suggested the hotel which is very nearby to my home and it costs RM30 for 2 hours. He didn't mind paying since he can claim back.
I met him in the room and he looked typical Malay - slim, brown, and average height. Before I could even settle down he made a move from my back and started caressing my chest underneath my shirt. And his 6 inches dick got hard instantly. He proudly grabbed his junk with his pants on showing me how huge his dick is. I tasted bigger than that honestly. I didn't say it out.
We removed our shirt and started making out fiercely. I sucked him ferociously because it tasted great. He seems so proud of his junk and laid against the wall looking at me dominantly. I hated that look.
He even asked me to roll the condom on him. And pretty much you can imagine the whole sex. He was being quite passive. Me basically spending all the time sitting on him humping on his dick. I didn't like it even though it fits my ass perfectly. He loved it how I humped his dick hard when there were people walking by outside our room. I purposely did that. "Shhhhh. Calm down! They could hear." I can see that he enjoyed when I did that - telling the world we are having gay sex.
We did doggy. Missionary. He stopped half way because his dick couldn't get hard enough. Quite disappointing. In the end, we didn't cum. I didn't plan to cum for him. So we laid on bed, briefly getting to know each other. Though I don't pretty much like him. I was kinda being straighforward to everything he asked. I didn't care if he likes it.
In the end, we made out again in the room when we about to leave. Both of us got hard again, him wanting to fuck me again. The thought was tempting. But I didn't want to have a passive sex again. So i bend over and gave one final deep suck on his dick and I said "next time".
This malay lad has been knocking on my grindr inbox for quite sometimes. He was either staying in a hotel where it is too far away or a place where the traffic is forever congested. I declined travelling to his place.
Last Saturday, he messaged me again.
"Getting anyone to fuck you today?", he wrote.
"Ya." I said.
He was willing to travel to my place nearby and get a hotel room for 2 hour sex. I agreed then we met at night. I suggested the hotel which is very nearby to my home and it costs RM30 for 2 hours. He didn't mind paying since he can claim back.
I met him in the room and he looked typical Malay - slim, brown, and average height. Before I could even settle down he made a move from my back and started caressing my chest underneath my shirt. And his 6 inches dick got hard instantly. He proudly grabbed his junk with his pants on showing me how huge his dick is. I tasted bigger than that honestly. I didn't say it out.
We removed our shirt and started making out fiercely. I sucked him ferociously because it tasted great. He seems so proud of his junk and laid against the wall looking at me dominantly. I hated that look.
He even asked me to roll the condom on him. And pretty much you can imagine the whole sex. He was being quite passive. Me basically spending all the time sitting on him humping on his dick. I didn't like it even though it fits my ass perfectly. He loved it how I humped his dick hard when there were people walking by outside our room. I purposely did that. "Shhhhh. Calm down! They could hear." I can see that he enjoyed when I did that - telling the world we are having gay sex.
We did doggy. Missionary. He stopped half way because his dick couldn't get hard enough. Quite disappointing. In the end, we didn't cum. I didn't plan to cum for him. So we laid on bed, briefly getting to know each other. Though I don't pretty much like him. I was kinda being straighforward to everything he asked. I didn't care if he likes it.
In the end, we made out again in the room when we about to leave. Both of us got hard again, him wanting to fuck me again. The thought was tempting. But I didn't want to have a passive sex again. So i bend over and gave one final deep suck on his dick and I said "next time".
Monday, May 21, 2018
Email Changed!
Dear Zach,
My previous email was used for almost 8 years since and recently I found that it's quite a mess when your discreet blog email is using the same one with your personal one. I have 5 emails now and it's quite a hassle to manage one by one. Because of that I decided to remove the old one and using dearzachblog@gmail.com as the primary contact.
Well, a change have to come. That old previous email has been abused with many dirty stuff I did over the past years. lol.
I have a lot of thing to share. I don't know where to start. There were times I planned to close this blog. But thinking it has been here for its existence for many people out there, I decided to leave it here.
To be honest, not much people read blogs these days. I doubt only a handful of reader out there. People would rather have a picture to follow than reading boring words on site to understand.
And thanks to those who email me whether i am still alive. I still am. I still having sex.
My previous email was used for almost 8 years since and recently I found that it's quite a mess when your discreet blog email is using the same one with your personal one. I have 5 emails now and it's quite a hassle to manage one by one. Because of that I decided to remove the old one and using dearzachblog@gmail.com as the primary contact.
Well, a change have to come. That old previous email has been abused with many dirty stuff I did over the past years. lol.
I have a lot of thing to share. I don't know where to start. There were times I planned to close this blog. But thinking it has been here for its existence for many people out there, I decided to leave it here.
To be honest, not much people read blogs these days. I doubt only a handful of reader out there. People would rather have a picture to follow than reading boring words on site to understand.
And thanks to those who email me whether i am still alive. I still am. I still having sex.
Sunday, May 6, 2018
25
Dear Zach,
After living 25 years as human being, I've got to know that people are scary as fuck. People are culprit of hatred and disappointment. I don't have to live 50 years to realize that.
Turning 25 is nothing new to me except the fact that I was another year older with the prospect of losing my job yet again. Right after my birthday the next day, I dove into a heated argument with my superior about my remuneration. When comes to this sensitive issue, I have no tolerance to anyone albeit he's my boss. I worked hard for this new workplace although I was paid lesser than my previous workplace did. I did not complain. I was told that my special allowance was subject to change under management discretion. For fuck sake, I wasn't told a thing about this before I signed. Accusation thrown across the room between the two of us. I was so upset and disappointed. I was already paid less, am I that undervalued for my skills and qualification?
This was the second time I've been through such situation in my previous workplace. I am in despair.
I am planning to quit working under people and work for my own. I am sick of these conflict of interest bullshit. I have nothing to lose but my own integrity.
25 is probably another worst year yet.
After living 25 years as human being, I've got to know that people are scary as fuck. People are culprit of hatred and disappointment. I don't have to live 50 years to realize that.
Turning 25 is nothing new to me except the fact that I was another year older with the prospect of losing my job yet again. Right after my birthday the next day, I dove into a heated argument with my superior about my remuneration. When comes to this sensitive issue, I have no tolerance to anyone albeit he's my boss. I worked hard for this new workplace although I was paid lesser than my previous workplace did. I did not complain. I was told that my special allowance was subject to change under management discretion. For fuck sake, I wasn't told a thing about this before I signed. Accusation thrown across the room between the two of us. I was so upset and disappointed. I was already paid less, am I that undervalued for my skills and qualification?
This was the second time I've been through such situation in my previous workplace. I am in despair.
I am planning to quit working under people and work for my own. I am sick of these conflict of interest bullshit. I have nothing to lose but my own integrity.
25 is probably another worst year yet.
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