Dick's Talking

Dear Zach,

I've been feeling very horny these days - partly because I am too available to do something. By something, it means something sexually fun. I can't help to going for a hookup even though how much I refuse doing it. I can't believe that I even had this encounter. What makes me feel guilty is that I still can't get enough of it. 

And the guy I have been sleeping with over the weekends seems to be growing apart from me. Or shall I say we both seem to be growing apart. We haven't been seeing each other for two weeks. Over the course of 2 weeks we did text each other regularly, but since yesterday he didn't reply to any of my message. Not sure if one of my text message has upset him, but I sent him "Are you upset?" only to have silent treatment from him. And the thought of him having sex with other guy make me jealous, and I have no right to be jealous as I did have sex with other guy while he having sex with other guy. I'm not sure which is which but I am sure as hell I have no right to be jealous of him. Or maybe he has found someone who has better performance in bed than me. And right now I am jealous. 

xx

The Time I Had Sex In Public Swimming Pool Shower Room

Dear Zach,

Right after gym session, I headed right away to my usual swimming spot to chase after the blazing hot sun before it started to rain. It was 2.30 p.m. There were a few people mingling around in the pool. I headed into changing room and quickly changed into my speedo before the sun goes down again. 

I walked up to the stairs and the end of the bleacher, where there's an empty walkway and spot perfectly for people who wants to suntan without really being noticed - no one would actually go there. And we know damn well that actions happen if people walk around there. As I was walking to the end, I noticed a guy laying on the perfect spot, where the sun shone so bright on him, his body glistening with mixture of sweat and suntanning oil. I didn't really pay much attention to him when he looked up at me as I passed by him. 

I laid my sweaty gym attire on the rough floor as my mat, and laid on my back, facing the blazing hot sun, my arms and legs wide-open absorbing the rays of light as much as I could. After 10 minutes or so, I turned around, stomach facing the floor, and my vision was directly at the guy I saw just now. He seemed to have noticed that I noticed him. Because he kept turning his head to my direction as he laying on his back, hands over his head, head facing me. And I pretended to look past him as if I was looking something else - in fact I was looking at him. It hits me that he has a very hot body. And he's quite cute though with the trendy comb over haircut. His chest is very well-defined - the kind of chest you want to grab and feel how thick the muscle is; his abs are visible, initially I thought those were just adipose layer, only realized that his abs are thick and long; and he was wearing a blue speedo so short it exposed the top of his butt cheek. I can't help to stare at this hot specimen laying in front of me. I have the urge to lick all part of his glistening body away. 

Few seconds later, I quickly looked away, avoid giving false intention to him thinking that I want him, there and now. After what seemed to be an hour later, I decided to dip into the pool and cool myself down from the sun and him. Not long after, he dip into the pool, swam for few laps. I just sat by the pool, relishing the cool water, too tired to move at all after my gym session. I just sat there and looked around, but mainly looking at him. When he looked at me, I looked away. Our stare-throwing lasted for quite long til he got out of the pool and went into the shower room. I decided not to go in so quickly - not wanting to let him know that I was interested in him. After 5 minutes, I walked into the shower room, and went to the open shower area. 

While I was lathering under the shower, I turned around and saw him showering in one of the cubicle, exact opposite of me, open-doored. He didn't pull off his trunk, we both are under the shower with our trunks on. I can't keep my eyes off him as well as he can't keep his eyes off me. We both stared at each other while we lathering our body with soaps. I decided to make a drastic move, slowly pulling down my trunk til a patch of untanned area being shown, which is very dangerously low. He did the same too, trying to wash his crotch slowly lower down his trunk, exposing both of his butt cheeks to me. When I looked at the water dripping down to his chest, abs and then his crotch, I can't help myself that my crotch was getting elongated. He walked toward me, cautiously, sexily, and sexually. When he stood in front me, I could smell his tanning oil still lingering around his body. He gave me a once-over from bottom to top, slowly, he grabbed hold of my crotch, and slowly played with it. He seemed to be satisfied with what he saw, and I did the same to him, too. Disappointingly, his private anatomy doesn't really match to his chiseled physique, I was kinda a bit put off, but I at least I got to have a taste of his body.

 He grabbed my hand and led me into his cubicle shower as I collected my stuff along with me. Slowly, we kissed. We made out. Pulling our speedo off which seem to be a barrier for both of us. We were naked, making out under the shower. I slowly moved my hands all over his muscly body, and licked his sexy chest, his chiseled abs, and turned him around, I was on my knee, savoring his mighty fine ass. Damn his ass is so damn good. I was glad his ass response to my tongue when I rimmed him so hard I almost eat it up. So I asked him what role he is:

"Versatile, You?" he said, his mighty fine ass responding  to my hardon. 

"Versatile, too. But usually top." I said, kissing his neck from his back, grabbing his chest and his hardon. "Do you want me to top you?" I suggested.  

"Here? No. People is around" He said.

"It's break time. No people around. And it's raining outside." hoping he would change his mind. 

"Nah..," He hesitate. Part of me wonder if he's afraid of pain if I enter him, or has never been entered by a dick larger than his. So I suggested if he want to top me. 

"Aren't you top?" He asked. "Aren't you afraid of pain?"

"I do top but I can be bottom as well." I said. "There's no pain for me don't worry." Part of me wanted to tell him that there won't even be painful if he enter me, which would lead him thinking that I make an awful remark about his dick. 

He looked at me and said, "I don't have condom."

"I do." I said, mischievously fishing out a piece of condom from the pocket of my pants. 

"You are so well-prepared." He smirked. 

And then he took it, tore the foil off, and slip the condom on his dick. He used his suntanning oil as lubricant. 

Slowly, he entered me from behind, once its fully entered, he moved his hips, from slow to faster pace, banging against my ass. From the way he move I can tell, he's usually top. After a good 10 minutes bang, his cock slip off, the condom was torn. Then we continued by sucking each other off. When I almost on the edge of cuming, he was on his knee, accepting my essence. I cum so hard on his body, rendering his pec and abs were dripping down with my essence. The picture of his body with my essence was so hot. It was like one of the pornos I watched. I did the same to him when he cum, I was on my knee, let his essence came all over my body. 

"You came a lot, man." I laughed. 

"You are not so bad for yourself." He said. 

We washed ourselves off, and then get dressed. We have small chat while getting dressed. He's name is Josh and 30-years-old, and workout at Lot 10 and Midvalley (typical). I know he won't be asking my number or whatsover, I am feeling the same to him too. Maybe he too shy to ask but waiting for me to ask. But, well, I decided to against the notion of asking his number, so I just gave him a nod as thanks. He gave me a smirk in return. We both know this is a one-time-thing rule. Is better to keep it that way. When we done, we walked our separate ways.   

Health Check For Sex Disease

Dear Zach,

Today, right after a swim in Bandar Tun Razak pool, I went to the clinic I usually go to to collect my STD/HIV report as my blood and urine were collected for clinical test last Thursday. The results were negative. My last screening was last year October. It has been exactly a year since I last tested. I still remember I was being paranoid last year having myself tested twice in a year. One was on June and another one was on October . Yes. I do have sex, a lot, over of this year. That's why I needed to have a health check, just in case I contracted with anything undesirable. 

For those of you who have sex with more than 5 people, you should have a health check by now. 

And yes I had sex with more than 5 people. 

xx

P.S: You may read the archive back in June and October on the link. 

Figure Out

Dear Zach,

I've grown more and more depress in each passing day, thinking each tomorrow will be a new day of hope, brand new day to fight for - only to realize I actually have nothing much to fight for. I slept in early and woke up at 9 a.m. everyday in the morning. Considering it's healthy to me, I went to the gym at 11 a.m. It practically became my daily routine. You could envy all you want that I was having a good life of doing nothing - apart from wasting my time looking for job if that counts. Still, I feel worthless of doing the same thing all over again. My eyes were sore from looking very carefully into the job description in each and every single ads in jobstreet. Only to find out nothing really interest me much. I have zero knowledge in accounting, not to mention that I am very poor in math itself. Each of the ads signify that each candidate should have at least 3 years experiences to be able to apply the job. I couldn't care less about it I just sent my resume to it. I thought I have plan after I quit, telling myself I'd find a job better than previous one, interesting and fun, and medium payroll. Most importantly, I knew what I want. I knew then what I know now. It had been almost 4 weeks, I am lost - lost in the world of self-pity, confusion, and self-discovery. Everyday I sat there in my room, thinking what I want to do with my life. Every thing I ever wanted to be and have, just floating around in my subconscious mind, waiting for me to get it. But I don't even know where the stepping stones are. It's very frustrating that I thought I could hold it together, and follow my heart to wherever it will lead to. But only to realize it doesn't work that way. It doesn't even work that way. It all comes down to sense of logical and rationality. I was being logical and rational - I attended one interview (pathetically after I had sent it at least 20 apps, only one had called me for interview, yet this is the one I don't really hope to get a call from) and it went all sorts of wrong. I was stammered, nervous, unsure, and doubtful. I was asked if I really want to work in this industry, the worst part was that I silence for 5 seconds, or more, to give an answer saying that I could give it a try. But from my face they could tell I wasn't in a remote interest working for them. I was glad that they can tell from my facial expression; not coming out from my mouth which would be ended up being rude. After that, I went to my car, and sat in there for good 10 minutes, mentally slapping myself for being such a dumb ass in there. While I was on the way back home, I was mentally rewinding back to one of the phrase from one of the interviewers, "...you have to figure out what you want...". This hit me stone-hard because, honestly speaking, I couldn't even figure the fuck out what I really want. 

xx

This Is Bad

Dear Zach,

I am big flirter. A major one. This is bad.
I practically flirt with everyone - from a normal conversation escalated to sex talk.
This is bad. I'm not sure what is the cause of factor. But I think I'm gonna cease all contact with stranger to avoid sex talk again. Because this is bad.

When I'm Gone ...

Dear Zach,

Ever since I left my previous job silently, everyone seems to be surprised by my resignation. It's been 3 weeks now, some members only have realized that I was gone for so long. I wouldn't blame them for that. It's because my choice of leaving in not acknowledging the world is far much better than telling everyone that I was leaving in a bad term some sort. 

And I was surprised that some members that I had greeted them in passing in the gym ,whom I won't stop down for a casual chit-chat, pinged me up on Facebook or left a message on Instagram. Now I only truly got the feeling that people only start noticing you when you were gone. 

The first question that would come forward from them would be: "why did u leave?". I couldn't recall how many times and different versions of answers to that particularly unavoidable question. Because each time I think of a way to answer them, I felt unsure of what sort of right answer to give - simply because I just don't want them to know about my intention of leaving. Not that they gonna care about me anyway. I'm pretty sure they just want to bring up a conversation and get it going. 

It felt great and touched when one of my client sent me a greeting from Australia. And I miss the people in the gym so much. Oh well, that's my choice to leave for better option which has yet to be found. 

xx

Hardly Working

Dear Zach,

Besides that I am working hard in the gym nowadays, I am not sure whether I was working hard in my job finding. I did send in my application to some company of interest. All I have to do is to wait. If only working hard in the gym could earn a living. And recently I have been spending a few nights in this one guy's home. This was my first when comes to spending a night in someone's place. We cuddled; we talked; we made out; we fucked. I feel comfortable being around with him. There's one time while I was playing his PS4, he sat beside me and started making small peck and caressed my arms, slowly he reached into my pants and grabbed hold of my rock hard boner. He told me to concentrate on the game while he giving me a great blow job. I shot so hard inside of his mouth as I shot one of the villian in the game simultaneously. I told him that that was the best PS4 game play as for the first time playing it. 

xx

Die Down

Dear Zach,

I had quit my job as Personal Trainer after working for nine months. Right after I quit I went for vacation in an island - I went for recreational diving course and it was terrifyingly exciting. I've got to know how beautiful the underworld is - I grabbed my instructor's arm so hard because I was petrified by the depth of the sea. Four days in the island later, I started to packed my stuff and was getting ready for shifting to new home. My parents sold off the old house and bought a new one where the exists to everywhere is pretty much convenient - except the fact that the congestion is unavoidable. The new home is much much smaller. The home is pretty much suitable for a family of two. The exception had been made for our family of four. So moving from a big house to smaller home was so tedious and heartbroken. Heartbroken because I've had to throw a bunch of stuff in order to accommodate my extremely small room, especially. I took it as a let-it-all-go moment. At the mean time, I have been searching through jobstreet for suitable job but to no avail. Each job ad I have looked through has been marked as boring-as-fuck category but I couldn't help to think these jobs could have saved me from being unemployed. I sit in my new home, searching all over the place for job, and, have nothing better else to do, slowly accepting the fact of being unemployed.